May 2016 Moms
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pregnancy overload??

Hey ladies
I'm 17 weeks 3 days, me and my husband found out we are having a girl a week or so ago..(YAY!!! )
We had talked about names and just told my husbands mom what we had decided last night.. This morning I got a call from her , she has already ordered specially made baby shower invitations, decided my "theme" for the baby shower, the date and place for the shower & sent me a picture of a cake she said she decided on ...
I LOVE his mom, she has actually become a good friend of mine, which has made it very difficult for me to try and find a way to tell her that I would like to be apart of it.
Any advice ???

Re: pregnancy overload??

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    babykasperbabykasper member
    edited November 2015
    So I agree to disagree slightly... Yes, it is a gift to you from the person throwing it... But I still think you should have some sort of say. For example: my sister and mom will be throwing ours and I let them know the day (because we live out of state), the time frame I wanted to aim for, and that I wanted it outdoors at one of my favorite parks (and gave them the park names to choose from). Our baby room will be grays and yellows so this is what I wanted as the color scheme also. Everything else (minus the guest list), they have full control over.

    So talk with her! Tell her you are just as excited and want to be a part of the planning! She should understand!
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    Has she mentioned anything about a shower before? The only concern I would have is the guest list. Does she plan on hosting for both sides of the family, etc? Otherwise I agree with pp, you're not supposed to be involved in the planning. You can give suggestions or mention things you've always liked. But definitely enjoy that she's on the ball and throwing you a shower!!
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    Agree with those saying to sit back and try to enjoy it. I think it is rude to make requests for an event that someone else is having in your honor and most likely paying for. Unless something crazy is being planned or something offensive is happening, I say let it be.

    Now, if the person throwing the event comes to you in the beginning and specifically asks you to be a part of the planning, that could be different. I think so many people get bratty about their showers (not speaking of you at all - just from my experience IRL!!).

    Yay for you having a girl!
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    Be grateful you are getting a shower, it is an occasion for you to relax and celebrate. Yes I agree that the time and day should be agreed on - thats basic courtesy, but the rest is up to the host. Try to chill out and enjoy it.
    Angel baby June 2013, DD born 22 April 2014, BFP 10 Sept 2015 - Due 22 May 2016
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    Hey don't really know what kind of relation you and your mum-in-law share so difficult to say what reaction you will receive if you say you want to be part of the planning. If you have recently become friends then won't it be better to let her throw the party her way!! Just convey to her the list of people you would surely want to see there and maybe just let it be... It's just one event... Once your baby is born you will get to plan all the birthdays etc so just let her have this one her way
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    My MIL let me choose the theme (Hidden Mickeys- like all the Mickey Mouse heads scattered around at the Disney theme parks that you can look for) and we agreed on a date. Otherwise, she's choosing location, food, guest list, etc.
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    I understand the desire to feel included but you have a lot of other planning to worry about. I wouldn't worry about it too much. I know it can be kind of frustrating to not feel like you have any say in something so special to you but this may be her way or feeling like she is part of your special time too. Just ask yourself if it's worth a battle or potentially hurting her feelings. I threw 2 showers for good friends of mine a few months ago. Both of them made requests but stayed out of it. I really appreciated that because I was dedicating a lot of time and money to honor them and their babies. They also got to just show up and enjoy the party without having to worry about having responsibilities. Congrats on the girl! I'm having a girl too!
    Pregnancy Ticker

    5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
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    I don't know... Saying it's rude to have requests for an event being thrown in your honor is like saying you get no say in your wedding day because your parents (or dad or I laws) are paying for it. I think it's bogus! Lol it's YOUR baby shower just like it's YOUR wedding (when and if someone decides to get married). You should absolutely get a say in what goes on... Just my opinion anyway! What does your man say about all of this?
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