Yet ANOTHER Potty Training Thread -- Advice Needed!

jmlundborg · November 2015

My daughter is 2 1/2 and has been staying dry through the night and commenting on the potty. So this weekend I decided to take Friday and Monday off so we could hunker down and try potty training. Every day starting on Friday morning I have had her in underwear all day (pull-ups for naps and bedtime), have been having her sit on the potty every half hour or so, and have put her on the potty immediately after every accident. It is Sunday morning and so far she has not gone on the potty once. She has started coming to me as soon as she pees her pants and says "Uh oh, pee pee." so at least now she recognizes it (which is a step up from Friday). However, I will have her on the potty for a good five minutes and then she will pee almost immediately after she gets off. Almost as if she is intentionally holding it when she is sitting there and then releases right after we pull her underwear up. She also doesn't like sitting on the potty unless she has something to distract her -- like a phone, iPad, or toy. I know it is only the beginning of the third day, but I am getting discouraged.

So here's what I am wondering:

- Is this all normal or does it sound like I should give up and try again later? I am worried that she might be almost there and if I give up I will set her back.

- If I do decide to relax on it a bit, is there a way to keep her on the potty track in a less intense way? Pull-ups full time?

I'm curious to hear if anyone else had a similar experience and how they handled it.

Any suggestions are much appreciated!

tracij12 · November 2015

If she's that distracted she might not be ready, but honestly with her having interest in the potty and recognizing potty signals, If t were me I'd probably stick with it a bit.

Have you tried a potty chart or anything to give "recognition" for a successful potty trip?

Our daycare was really helpful with potty training (lucky I know since many aren't) and they strongly advise against pull ups full time.

Bigboobsmcgee · November 2015

I think she's not ready. The more you push, the more she will stop trying.

I'm also not on the Pull Up train and think they are detrimental more than helpful.

My son was 3.5 before he decided he was ready to get rid of diapers. Up until then we were trying way too hard and he wasn't going for it so we stopped trying and he let us know when he was ready.

dufferoo · November 2015

I do think that sounds kinda normal. She probably just feels uncomfortable with the idea of peeing in the potty vs. her diaper/pull-up, which she's more used to. Picture how awkward it is to have to pee in a bedpan or a porta-potty or the woods or something- I imagine that's probably what it's like for little kids trying to eliminate somewhere new and unfamiliar. We skipped pull-ups altogether in my house, mainly because I felt like the "big kid" feeling of underwear was a reward in itself, and an incentive to learn to use the potty. Bribing with candy helped a lot too

shegotsauce · November 2015

Sounds like the exact thing that happened with us and my daughter. She showed a slight interest in the potty around 2 1/2 and I was thrilled. We tried everything: bribes, letting her hang out in underwear at home, rewards. Nothing worked because I realized she didn't feel the sensation of having to go. She only realize she peed after the fact. I finally realized she wasn't ready and stopped pushing. After her third birthday, I hid the diapers and told her there were no more. Put underwear on her only, tried potty every hour & gave her one m&m and one sticker every time she went. We also praised her a LOT, told her how proud of her we are, etc. First few days were a bit challanging but within a week...no more accidents and she tells us every time she needs to go. We only use pull ups at nap and bed time but she's been waking up dry!! When she wore them during the day she just thought they were diapers. Anyhow, when a child is ready they will train, pushing them prolongs the process and stresses everyone out. Good luck

jmlundborg · November 2015

Thanks for the advice, everyone! I think we are going to hold off for a little. It's been six days and she's still only telling me after she's peed. I don't think she's ready.

TheTamedShrew · November 2015

Have you tried letting her run around the house without underwear or a diaper? Sometimes it can help for them to not feel the "security" of a diaper/underwear because they can see what is coming out and understand the concept of when and how to do it on the potty. I think at this age they can't understand the idea that the poop or pee isn't just a part of their body, and that it's something they need to get "out". It can also be uncomfortable for them to feel their bare bottom on the potty if they're used to their bottom always being covered with something. You have to be willing to deal with accidents on the floor, and the clean up, but DD really figured it out after she realized what was coming out of there. Bring her little potty into different rooms of the house so that is always close by as a reminder and an opportunity.. I let my DD have a little pants-less time around the house for a few weeks before she was willing to sit down on the potty. Then, one day, she finally just peed in it. I immediately jumped on the opportunity and kicked potty training into full gear. I pulled the diapers completely, including pull ups. We started a week and a half ago, and yesterday finally had a full 24 hours with zero accidents. She loves flushing it and watching it go down in the toilet. It's like a "yeah, that's mine. I did that all by myself" kind of thing.

It also helps when their little friends are potty training at the same time as a social reinforcer. Let her watch her older siblings/cousins/friends go potty (only if that is age appropriate and supervised of course).

I also recommend M & Ms, tic tacs, or skittles. Candy is a strong toddler negotiator. Let her pick out some panties with her favorite characters on them too.

SLGILL1978 · December 2015

I agree with backing off for a while. When she asks and/or shows interest then put her on the potty, let her run around diaperless or put on some panties. Potty training shouldn't take days or weeks, when they are ready. I am a big believer in following the child's lead/cues. Forcing can cause regressions or taking longer than necessary. It also shouldn't be necessary to use charts, bribes, treats or other things to get them to potty train. I think positive reinforcement when using the potty and/or a celebration once trained goes a long way.

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Yet ANOTHER Potty Training Thread -- Advice Needed!

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