Someone help me get some balls.

NicknShan · November 2015

Why do I find that it will be extremely awkward for me to talk to my boss about this pregnancy?

I will be 13w3d tomorrow and plan to tell him. Baggy shirts aren't cutting it anymore with my belly growing.

My boss is that engineer type, and I don't have a lot in common with him. I really like him. But I just can't come up with the right words on how to tell him I am expecting without it turning awkward.

Last time it turned into a story where my boss rambled on about how long they waited to have kids...

Anyone have the magical perfect thing to say?

Huskerfanz · November 2015

You can do it! Is this the same boss as DS?

runnindownthedream · November 2015

Does this need to be an in-person conversation? Maybe it was as awkward for him as it was for you last time, and an email would suffice? If he's more analytical and procedural he might appreciate some suggestions from you about your workload and how/who could take parts of it in your absence. Sorry you have to face such an awkward encounter for such an exciting time!

Huskerfanz · November 2015

huskerfamily said:

You can do it! Is this the same boss as DS?

Re-reading OP it sounds like it is.

Can you have topics ready to change the conversation if he starts rambling? Like holiday related or a work related question?

NicknShan · November 2015

huskerfamily said:

huskerfamily said:

You can do it! Is this the same boss as DS?

Re-reading OP it sounds like it is.

Can you have topics ready to change the conversation if he starts rambling? Like holiday related or a work related question?

I love that you quoted yourself. Different boss - but exact same "type". The look at the floor when they talk to you type. Ha.

@runnindownthedream I am sure it is as awkward for him as it is for me, but I can't imagine delivering such important news that implies I will be taking three months off via email.

Atlast111 · November 2015

Hmm, it's a hard one....I would agree with email. Men hate awkward conversations too. This will give him time to compose himself as he won't be caught off guard.

mebaby333 · November 2015

My boss is engineer type, I just blurted it out... "so, I'm pregnant again" lol

HBamama2B · November 2015

@NicknShan it was super awkward with my bosses boss (I work with them both very closely, my boss was great, higher up was one of those types). I made it as short and sweet as possible. Vey matter of fact. I'm expecting a baby. Due in June. Answered his questions (all about maternity leave) and gtfo'd as quickly as possible. I knew it would be awkward so I tried to make it clean and clear while still showing excitement and commitment to my job. Best I can offer. Someone else may have conquered this beast better than I.

NLewis1 · November 2015

I think these type of people are just matter of fact/informational people. I would bring it up as such.

"Boss guy, I will be gone these dates starting in June for maternity leave. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to make my absence easier for you/us/company"

nicolesmith0624 · November 2015

NLewis1 said:
I think these type of people are just matter of fact/informational people. I would bring it up as such.

"Boss guy, I will be gone these dates starting in June for maternity leave. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to make my absence easier for you/us/company"

I have no advice, but PLEASE actually call him boss guy!!

crdo · November 2015

HBamama2B said:
@NicknShan it was super awkward with my bosses boss (I work with them both very closely, my boss was great, higher up was one of those types). I made it as short and sweet as possible. Vey matter of fact. I'm expecting a baby. Due in June. Answered his questions (all about maternity leave) and gtfo'd as quickly as possible. I knew it would be awkward so I tried to make it clean and clear while still showing excitement and commitment to my job. Best I can offer. Someone else may have conquered this beast better than I.

I'd recommend this approach. Short announcement ("I'm expecting a baby due June #"), focus on professional aspects (gone x date to y date), discuss transition of responsibilies during your absence if needed at that time, then gtfo.

Good luck!

satcher08 · November 2015

If I can ever find the balls to tell my own boss I'll lend them to you. lol

hollywoodave531 · November 2015

Thanks for this post. I have my own anxiety about telling mine as well. Lets us know how it goes and good luck!

NicknShan · November 2015

Today is the day... I just passed on opportunity number 1. His calendar is pretty booked today. Maybe I will wait until tomorrow :-|

mrsschmity · November 2015

I agree with @HBamama2B on that approach. My boss is the same type of guy. Short, sweet and to the point is the way to go! FX for you @NicknShan, I'm sure it will be just fine.

Lilwatz · November 2015

mrsschmity said:

I agree with @HBamama2B on that approach. My boss is the same type of guy. Short, sweet and to the point is the way to go! FX for you @NicknShan, I'm sure it will be just fine.

+1 to this. I kept it very to the point and professional and leave out extraneous details last pregnancy. My current boss is also a pretty good friend, so I handled this one a little differently.

RMLandy · November 2015

I'm in the same boat! Been putting it off for a while because my boss is SUPER nosey and has no respect for personal boundaries at all. Like when I came back to work after my d&c from a miscarriage he cornered me and asked me so many inappropriate questions. It was terrible. I just don't feel like discussing details with him now. It's a personal matter. Let us know how it goes! Maybe it will give me some courage!!

jsl82 · November 2015

I ended up telling my boss when I was only 7 weeks. I live an hour away from the office with the express train- and if I have a dr appointment I would be taking a local train which would me a 2 hour commute. I also have a thyroid condition- so I have extra dr visits during my pregnancy. I wanted to be straightforward with him and let him know that I may need to work from home more frequently due to the time commuting after dr appointments. I was worried about telling him - especially since I just got married in August- but he was so happy for me. I find that most employers appreciate the honesty. It's not a fun conversation- but it is necessary- and if he doesn't know for sure he could be thinking you are hiding something far worse.

Huskerfanz · November 2015

NicknShan said:

Today is the day... I just passed on opportunity number 1. His calendar is pretty booked today. Maybe I will wait until tomorrow :-|

You take the next opportunity, young lady! You will feel so much better after.

Knottie86418473 · November 2015

DH is a software engineer so I know the type! I agree with those who say if you can do it through email, it might be the way to go. Otherwise, just be direct and upfront because these types tend to be super awkward at conversation and would probably rather avoid it. Also, I'd stick with just the facts, and keep it concise and to the point.

Good luck!

Corts · November 2015

I agree about sending a straight to the point email. It's better you cover yourself with a paper trail, anyway.

chelthorn · November 2015

I personally just told me boss today. I work in a small office with a total of 5 people! I have been putting it off for a couple of weeks now, but I feel so much better that they know. I couldn't bear to tell him in an email when I see him everyday. I just went in to turn in my time sheet and ask if he had heard my exciting news and then told him. He and his wife go to church with me and my family so I cannot believe they didn't know yet.

It really does feel much better to tell them.

meggyme · December 2015

I'm in the same boat. I have a coworker, supervisor, and manager I need to tell. First I need to get the balls to talk to HR about my options. Unfortunately, it's a one-two punch because DH will be getting relocated (Navy) in August, so I probably won't come back post mat leave, but would love to work elsewhere in the company if it works out.

NicknShan · December 2015

I haven't seen my boss yet today... So maybe I will wait until tomorrow...

ahernandez16 · December 2015

I told a coworker when I found out to back me up if I had to run to the bathroom to puke and she outted me to my boss one day when he was ranting to her after finding out his daughter is moving next year that I was going to have to step it up this summer to make up for her leaving and she was like, "uhh. Well she's having a baby in June so don't count on her being here the majority of the summer." Then she realized what she did and told him to pretend he didn't know (but told ME that he knew) and wait for me to tell him which made things even more awkward so I just went into his office one day a week or so later and said, "I know you heard my news and I have a doctor's appointment today at 2 so I'll be taking a late lunch."

Good luck!

PressLove · December 2015

This may be the wimp version, but you could send him an email announcing your pregnancy and ask to meet with him to discuss maternity leave, work load, and any transitions. Therefore, he isn't blindsided by your announcement and you'll have topics to discuss.

I hate these types of conversations. If I could go nine months with no one knowing I was pregnant, I'd take it!

Lyette1206 · December 2015

I am so lucky. I work with 85% women, the majority of whom have children. My boss and I were actually pregnant at the same time (her with her second, me with my first). I told her at 9 weeks this time because people were starting to notice/gossip about my blump. She offered me some of her maternity clothes as she's finished having kids. Best reaction ever! I should also add that I'm in Canada, so I'll be off for about a year.

Someone help me get some balls.

Re: Someone help me get some balls.

Mrs. H

Crohn's Dx: August 2008

Endometriosis Dx: May 2010

Married: 05/19/2012

TTC #1: June 2013

BFP: December 2013

DS: Born 08/29/2014

TTC #2: July 2015

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