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December 2015 Moms
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Advice for Introducing Baby to Toddler?

vanmostudiovanmostudio member
in December 2015 Moms
So far our general plan is to have him visit us at the hospital, first w the baby outside of the room, then introduce him and give him a gift "from" his new brother. Anyone have suggestions based on their past experience?
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Re: Advice for Introducing Baby to Toddler?

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  • Mags128Mags128 member
    We haven't done it yet but we are planning on having the baby either in the bassinet or being held by my mom or sister so that DH and I are both available for the toddler. Then once she comes in and sees us introduce her to the baby and probably do the exchange of gifts. I am hoping it goes smoothly but we will see. DD is such a daddys girls so I think she will definitely be more jealous when DH is holding the baby.
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  • rockinmathchicrockinmathchic member
    We are also planning on doing something similar.  We haven't decided if we want our DS to meet DD at the hospital or at home, but we plan on giving DS a gift from DD during the meet.  We'll see how it goes! 

    And I LOLed at the Andre the Giant comment, too!  I can totally see me thinking that when they are together for the first time.

    Married - 10/10/2009

    DS - Due 11/3/2012 born 9/28/2012 due to Severe Preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome

    DD - EDD 12/30/15

    "I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou|| [url=http;//www.fertilityfriend.com]Ovulation Chart[/url|| <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Chart</

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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    edited December 2015
    I've never been the mom in this situation but i've been the toddler. I remember everything about those first few weeks. And two things I'd say really irked me was that horrible combination of being forced to "love my new sister" but "be very careful around her" at the same time. I had to love her and be nice to her but wasn't allowed to hold her, touch her, sneeze in the same room as her... you get the idea. My mother also forced photographs and home movies which REALLY stressed me out as I was a kid who never liked that kind of attention and suddenly i HAD to do it. I realize it's really hard to not do these things but you may have a kid who just wants to avoid the whole mess until things calm down. Let them. If they ask to hold the baby or feed the baby, let them do so safely and supervised. If you haul out a camera and your toddler is sobbing, put it away until the mood shifts.

    Again, I'm coming at this from the kid's point of view. But I was PISSED OFF at those two people for making life a giant ceremony when it had already changed so much. I was 3. The gift idea is fantastic! Just find ways to incorporate the siblings together that appeal to THE TODDLER, not the parent ;)
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  • mhwoodmhwood member
    We read all the articles and read a bunch of threads on here and we've opted not to make a big deal out of things. If she is feeling up to it and it doesn't throw off her schedule, we'll bring her to the hospital to see me...not really the baby. We are keeping her in daycare and my husband will be dropping her off and picking her up, they are sleeping at home each night I'm in the hospital, like there is nothing going on.

    She has seen us bring baby stuff into the house, gets curious about and we say it's for the baby and she moves on. We don't plan on buying a gift or building things up any more than necessary. I guess we are kind of strange that way.
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  • HoldmommaHoldmomma member
    Just went through this today! We had Grammie bring our toddler to the hospital but she had to wait in the hall while daddy brought our 3 year old in and let him see his new baby, touch his cheek, look at his feet (DS idea). Once he was satisfied with the introduction we gave DS a present (new kid's camera). And told him we want him to take pictures of his brother. Played around with the camera and finally, DS invited Grammie in from the hall and introduced her to his new baby.

    So far so good. He is enthralled with his baby, but misses mama. They stayed at the hospital for about 2 hours at which point he was getting a little rowdy. Went home at nap time to play more with Grammie all afternoon.

    He really enjoyed all the parts of the hospital bed, and observing the hearing screening. He even gave baby his beloved Elmo doll to sleep with in the bassinet.

    Most importantly we are really trying hard to follow his lead and not force anything on him. For example, he didn't want to hold baby, so we didn't go there.
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  • Bombmom3Bombmom3 member
    @groovylocks

    Can't agree with you more. I was four when my sister was brought home so way old enough to remember the shift in family dynamics. My parents were really relaxed and laid back about things but my sister was born two weeks before my birthday and I felt really slighted about that (I'm sure my parents tried to still let me have my day but I remember it differently).

    We didn't do the gift exchange either time because we wanted to make it "not a big deal". It's hard to keep the girls off the little guy this time around just because the three year old feels like she should be picking him up whenever he makes a noise and the yearling wants to head butt him to show her love (she's a hooligan). But we don't force love or pictures or videos - unfortunately we *do* have to say "be gentle" a billion times a day :neutral:
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  • kallarinakallarina member
    I'm another who has not yet done this as a parent, but did as a child. I was five, so a bit older, but I also remember it very well. My parents didn't make a big deal out of me seeing or holding my sister, and just had her in the bassinet in the hospital room. I was really going to see my mom, but was allowed to see my sister when I asked. She freaked me out and I thought she was ugly! She was born a week before my birthday, which was enough time to be home and settled, so it didn't really bother me. My parents allowed me to hold her whenever I wanted to, but never made me. They encouraged playing with her during tummy time. I never felt jealous of her, but I did regress a little in terms of suddenly needing a stuffed animal to sleep with, bed wetting, and being generally more dependent on my parents than I had previously been. It took until my sister was about six months old before I really think I was adjusted to the new life with her, and ever since, I have been a very protective big sis, and she and I have been inseparable. She truly is my best friend!
    No matter what happens though, you will get to see a special sibling bond develop, and there is nothing more beautiful! Good luck!
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  • redfallonredfallon member
    DD is a little over two years old and is very interested in baby brother already. The biggest thing is that Mommy won't be at home for a couple of days, but she will have her two cousins here to play with and we hope that will distract her. We've been reading books to her about baby being on the way and being a big sister. I also think she will be upset when she comes to visit in the hospital and then Mommy doesn't come home with her. DH does not need to stay with me in the hospital this time like he did with her, so although we will have SIL & BIL and their girls (3 and 1) at our house to help out, I want him to be there spending time with her so she doesn't have both parents gone for 2-3 days.

    Jamie


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  • vanmostudiovanmostudio member
    Thanks guys, this is all very helpful...especially hearing the experience from your OWN eyes toddler eyes! :).
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