Little (and big) Milestones — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Little (and big) Milestones

I lost my baby at almost 6 weeks, 2.5 weeks ago. I would have been 8.5 weeks right now and on my way to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time. It's my birthday today and I was looking forward to this appointment as the best birthday present ever. I thought the timing was so perfect.

Now here I am, on a day that feels as grim as any other day of the past three weeks, feeling empty, physically and emotionally. Feeling like there's nothing I can do to feel happy because nothing can bring my baby back. Nothing would feel as wonderful as walking out of the appointment with a picture in my hand and the memory of hearing my baby's strong heart fluttering and looking forward to having a tiny bump by Christmas.

And I can't just say, go out for drinks, have fun and enjoy yourself, because I don't want to be able to drink... I don't want to be able to do anything that I couldn't do with my baby.

Anyone else going through milestones soon (or recently)? Ideas to cope?
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Re: Little (and big) Milestones

  • I haven't been in your shoes but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. I totally understand the feeling of not wanting to do any of your "normal" pre-pregnancy activities. Take care of yourself today and do whatever you have to do to comfort yourself. 
    **creepy internet stranger hugs**

    Me: 32 & DH: 37
    Married: November 2014
    TTC #1 Since: October 2015
    BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP
    BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
    IT'S A BOY!!!!
    DS Born 10/16/16

  • Yes, completely agree. I keep thinking about how I would be either be 11 weeks along getting ready for the NT screening for my second angel or gearing up for my due date in Dec for my first baby. Instead, I am laying on the couch with a cold and no babies. I was planning to announce at thanksgiving and have a little bump but now all of that is gone.

    Having said that, I think the one good thing that comes out of this terrible situation is to appreciate every little aspect of the pregnancy/birth/baby and in general, life. You will never find me complaining, venting over trivial crap anymore. We have gone through so much that it has given us a different perspective on life. I would say live! Go out and enjoy your husband, friends, family, you are alive one more year. I know the last thing my angels want is for me to be sad, I want to live for them! I know it is hard sometimes and It may sounds corny, but get out there and do something fun for you. You need to take care of yourself. And after all, it is your day-happy birthday beautiful! The future is bright and happiness will come for you.
    ******TW******Siggy warning
    BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
    BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; 
    BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016 

       Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    tinypikachu
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  • Happy birthday! I know what you mean, and I'm so sorry you're going through this. I didn't even get a pic of my ultrasound even though I had one, because things looked so grim. I hope you're able to enjoy yourself a bit today. And I agree that when it happens, and I'm sure it will, you will revel and get to enjoy all those important milestones.
    Hang in there!
  • Happy birthday. I miscarried a little over 2 weeks ago (measuring 6 weeks). I would have been 13 weeks tomorrow. I am hunting all week and was looking forward to telling my aunts/uncles/cousins over this week. It was supposed to be a great start to the second trimester. It's hard and sad. I found that I just cannot dwell on it or let it consume my every thought. I need to just think about now and what's good. Easier said then done. I am not one to journal but I did write down a couple thoughts randomly that helped.
    _______________________________________________
    TTC#1 July 2015 
    • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
    • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
    TTC#2 April 2019 
    • BFP: 9/12/19 — EDD 5/15/20

  • I have felt the exact same way. I don't want to be able to drink, I want to be pregnant again. It's so hard to just snap back into the way our lives used to be. I would have been 10 weeks yesterday, lost my baby at 8 weeks 3 days, and keep thinking how excited I was to announce our pregnancy to my MIL on thanksgiving. I'm so sorry you are going through this. My heart breaks for you and I'm sorry any of us have experienced this. My thoughts are with you and if you TTC to again I hope for a healthy little bean. <3
  • I am in the exact same situation. mmc the 3rd of this month d&c on the 6. it's really hard seeing everyone we told bc I was 10 weeks already and now there's no more baby.

    try to enjoy the time w family and friends. your rainbow will come soon :)
  • PeggyOlsonFTWPeggyOlsonFTW
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
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    edited November 2015
    I'm so sorry @AlwaysAuntNeverMom My SIL told me she was expecting twins on the day I was supposed to find out the sex of the baby I lost. It was already a hard day and that made it 1000x worse. Now when I see her, all I see is a woman who found out she was pregnant the week I suffered a loss and told me she was having twins the day I was supposed to have an anatomy scan and finally be able to pinpoint a baby name. I'm seeing her tomorrow at Thanksgiving and am planning on drinking all the wine.

    ETA: I know it's completely irrational, but it makes me feel like she has the baby I was supposed to have.

    LFAF April Siggy: TV/Movie BFFs








    BFP #1 12/2012, DS born 8/2013
    BFP #2 7/2015, MMC and D&C 9/2015
    BFP #3 11/2015, CP
    BFP #4 1/2016, DD born 10/2016




  • KDHB13 said:

    I'm so sorry @AlwaysAuntNeverMom My SIL told me she was expecting twins on the day I was supposed to find out the sex of the baby I lost. It was already a hard day and that made it 1000x worse. Now when I see her, all I see is a woman who found out she was pregnant the week I suffered a loss and told me she was having twins the day I was supposed to have an anatomy scan and finally be able to pinpoint a baby name. I'm seeing her tomorrow at Thanksgiving and am planning on drinking all the wine.


    ETA: I know it's completely irrational, but it makes me feel like she has the baby I was supposed to have.
    I get that feeling... there are four pregnant women in my family right now and three friends just had babies in the past few weeks; it's hard every day. I was one of the pregnant ones, I was going to be enjoying my newborn next summer and now, suddenly, I'm not. When I told my mom I was PG she immediately countered with the news that her favorite niece is PG too. It's so hard knowing that I have to "move on with my life" while she hits all the milestones at the same time I would. Like you, I'm always going to see her and her baby like that, it's inevitable.
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  • I started to mc a week ago, and started cytotec last night to make sure it finished cleanly. Thursday 12/3 was supposed to be my 8w u/s. Now, that same appointment will be to check if I need a D&C. I feel okay today, but I have a feeling Thursday will be hard.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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