Worries? (TW - discussing MC)

Hummingbird125 · November 2015

I'm a worrier by nature, so I guess this should come as so surprise to me, but ever since getting my BFP two days ago I just can't stop worrying about having a MC. I've googled "chances of miscarriage by day/week" about a zillion times, and find myself checking for blood every time I go to the bathroom, plus I worry about every little twinge I have.

I know that there is nothing I can do to prevent it from happening, and I just need to let go of these worries and try to breathe a little easier as each day goes by. Is anyone/everyone else suffering from these worries? Any suggestions about how to calm the F down?

AL_TwinCities · November 2015

I look at this chart every day: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12617420/chances-of-not-having-an-early-miscarriage/p1

I also found some positive pregnancy affirmations and meditations on YouTube and am spending some time every night doing them. Definitely helps calm my worries and focus on loving my baby rather than worrying!

PeggyOlsonFTW · November 2015

I feel the same way @Hummingbird125 It makes me crazy. I've just been trying to focus on the fat that I am pregnant today and reminding myself that the abdominal twinges are my body doing its job to make sure my baby is growing.

misspuppychow · November 2015

Don't worry @Hummingbird125. You are not alone! I got my BFP on Nov 19 and I have been doing the same thing. Today, my overall feeling like crap and my cramping has vanished, so I have been a worried mess. On top of it, I have a unicornute uterus and possibly a fibroid so my chances of miscarriage are substantially higher than most. I'm pretty much a wreck. I can't wait for my first ultrasound so at least I'll know something is really in there!

Hummingbird125 · November 2015

@AL_TwinCities - thanks for that link! I was actually looking for it and couldn't find it!

I will definitely be looking at it every single day. Since I ovulated on a Friday, I plan on finding a way to celebrate every Friday since I'll be hitting a new week then (and since I can't celebrate with happy hour like I used to...)

Merocket59 · November 2015

Thank good ness I'm not alone! Same obsessive thoughts/fears here. @AL_TwinCities thanks for sharing the link to the chart, that makes me feel better. I usually do yoga when I'm stressed or my body is achy so I don't know why I haven't done any since my BFP. I think I'll be looking through youtube for some prenatal yoga to do

I like the idea of meditation too.

mrsgillham14 · November 2015

For me I have to remind myself that there is absolutely nothing I can do to control that. I'm trying to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible and not worry about it.

mrsmommya · November 2015

Coming from many women who have actually been through a miscarriage...the chances of having a healthy baby are far greater than not. I did the same thing during my loss, intuition I guess. I actually wish I had enjoyed that short time I had with that baby. Think of that....you are pregnant today, you deserve to be happy, and you have no control. There is nothing you can do about tomorrow so don't borrow trouble.

JenniferMasters · November 2015

@Hummingbird125 -I do the same things! I'm so scared and an emotional wreck. I think my hubby has had enough but all I want to do is curl up in a ball and have the next few weeks go by quickly. But at the same time @mrsgillham14 is right-this is a momentous journey I should enjoy

if only I could stop worrying

riveridgional · November 2015

@AL_TwinCities that chart is AMAZING!! And, I love affirmations. I used to do them all the time during the last 3 months of my journey to get pregnant, along with guided meditations I found on you tube. I'm still searching for a new guided meditation to do right before falling asleep. I found one last night that was okay, so if you happen to do these too and have a good recommendation, please let me know!

AL_TwinCities · November 2015

riveridgional said:
@AL_TwinCities that chart is AMAZING!! And, I love affirmations. I used to do them all the time during the last 3 months of my journey to get pregnant, along with guided meditations I found on you tube. I'm still searching for a new guided meditation to do right before falling asleep. I found one last night that was okay, so if you happen to do these too and have a good recommendation, please let me know!

I've been underwhelmed by the guided meditations I've found so far. I did like this one the best so far:

https://youtu.be/gaoDgHAf-SY

I've heard Circle+Bloom is a good series of meditations for pregnancy, but I haven't bought them yet.

dmgordon07 · December 2015

My DH tells me that I'm the queen of worrying! I hate that tho and I want to be so excited and I am but then at the same time it's hard not to think about my MC a few months ago. I just want this to be our healthy happy baby so bad! I know at the end of the day that there is nothing I can do about this except enjoy every minute and not worry so much.

DutchLucyLu · December 2015

Wow, @Lilypadjump, I never realised stress was simply the product of a lack of motivation to relax! This insight will completely change my life.

I'm sorry, but telling someone who's worried about MC that worrying about it will only increase their chances of it actually happening is about the least helpful/most counterproductive thing you can do.

OP, I think having a little celebration each week is a great idea. I really like reading the updates on my apps each week as a way to just take a moment to appreciate the awesome development my baby has gone through in just a matter of days. Worrying is only natural at this stage - I spent about a month expecting AF to arrive after I got my BFP. The above chart really helped me, as well as the mantra 'today I am pregnant'. It won't take away your worries completely but it might help you deal with them, which is all you can do right now.

bsckgb7 · December 2015

I agree with @DutchLucyLu - that information is not helpful and those aren't even scientific articles. It's someone's interpretation of a probably very limited study.

TheBorg7of9 · December 2015

Stressing about miscarriage will not cause a miscarriage. And allowing yourself permission to feel stress will actually reduce your stress, because then you won't be stressing about stressing. Besides, assuming you live in a non-war torn country, you can assume that your stress levels will not affect your baby. The great majority of miscarriages are caused by chromosomal abnormalities or some other "known" cause, and you can't prevent them. But positive affirmations are a great way to help you feel better at least!

Allienagle · December 2015

I feel the same way as you ladies! Glad I'm not the only one. I've even been having bad dreams about it. I will look at the chart you are all talking about and hope that eases the worry a little!

meg32il · December 2015

I think my worrying has come to reality. This morning I woke up with bleeding and cramping.

Kristin712 · December 2015

Lilypadjump said:
Hey Hummingbird, I've felt the same way a few times... what has been working for me is trying to not emotionally attach myself until the odds of mc have drastically declined. Worrying is unnecessary stress to put your body through; stress increases the cortisol levels of the blood and it is proven that cortisol will increase a woman's chances of enduring miscarriage. Knowing that stress and worrying is linked to such severe consequences should be enough to motivate you to try and relax. Positive and relaxed thinking will do less [potential] harm than over-thinking. Do your best to objectively detach from your thoughts and gain rational control so as to mitigate any future risk. If you are able to, meditate. I promise that it will not just decrease your odds of miscarriage, but it might even bring you closer in touch with your body as you go through this life-changing experience.

If stress is a killer of those who are living, imagine how it can impact those who are developing. Consider your child's health, and your health as well.

Source:
https://www.parentingscience.com/Stress-hormones-during-pregnancy.html
https://www.livescience.com/43579-poverty-stress-infant-development.html

This is ridiculous and not at all helpful. If any of you ladies have the terrible misfortune of suffering a miscarriage, I sincerely hope you listen to your OB who will do their best to instill in you that you did nothing wrong and it is not your fault. Most miscarriages happen due to a bad egg and/or sperm that is incapable of developing due to chromosomal abnormalities. Stress isn't going to change the chromosomal makeup of your embryo.

mrsgillham14 · December 2015

meg32il said:

I think my worrying has come to reality. This morning I woke up with bleeding and cramping.

Oh no! I'm so sorry! Is it heavy red bleeding? Have you called your doctor? They can't do anything to prevent it from happening but they can get your HCG levels and see if they are dropping.

Kristin712 · December 2015

meg32il said:
I think my worrying has come to reality. This morning I woke up with bleeding and cramping.

I'm so sorry to hear this. You should alert your doctor but they probably won't do anything just yet. They can't do anything to prevent a loss and you don't need to go in unless you fill a pad in an hour. At that point, you need to go to the ER. I sincerely hope you are not losing this pregnancy.

strickland8052 · December 2015

Best wishes and hugs to you, @meg31il! I hope it isn't a loss!

Elm1214 · December 2015

I'm so sorry, @meg31il! I hope everything ends up ok!

Hummingbird125 · December 2015

Thinking of you @meg31il Fx things turn out okay.

jwittwer · December 2015

Praying this isn't happening to you, @meg32il !

PeggyOlsonFTW · December 2015

I just started bleeding too. No cramps yet, but my only experience with bleeding in pregnancy led to a miscarriage. Not too hopeful right now.

jwittwer · December 2015

Prayers and hugs to you as well, @KDHB13 !!

Kristin712 · December 2015

@KDHB13 I'm so sorry to hear this.

FX you are not miscarrying!!

mrsgillham14 · December 2015

So sorry @KDHB13! Fx for you!

PeggyOlsonFTW · December 2015

I'm calling it. I'm out. Bleeding increased and cramping has started. Life's just not fair. (Sorry to hijack the thread)

Hummingbird125 · December 2015

I'm so terribly sorry @KDHB13.

ramoseecology · December 2015

I'm really sorry @KDHB13.

meg32il · December 2015

I went to Doctor. She did take blood to measure HCG levels. She also did sn ultra sound and saw the beginning of a pregnancy. She said not to count anything out yet but she wasn't too hopeful. I will find out more in 2 days.