Helpful Hints from STMs

ShannyFann · November 2015

I thought it would be nice if some of the second (or third or fourth) timers posted little "helpful hints" for the FTMs that were simple yet made life so much easier with a new tiny baby.

My helpful hint is: Vaseline baby's butt at EVERY diaper change. At least for a while. Our pediatrician told us to do this and it worked so well we did it for almost a year. It makes a nice barrier to keep moisture off baby's skin especially for the (hopefully) longer stretches at night and it's SO much easier to clean a poop diaper. We did this for our son and he didn't have a single incident of diaper rash until he was almost a year old.

Good luck and I wish you all short and easy labors!!!

Emott13 · November 2015

My tip is remind yourself daily that nothing lasts forever. You're having a bad day? Tomorrow is new. Having a great day? Done get discouraged if LO backtracks the next day. Babies are really fluid in that regard. If you're having a hard day, sometimes just reminding yourself that nothing lasts forever can turn that fifth wake-up call to feed into a bonding moment rather than one that makes you want to cry.

......Sometimes.

MissMheMhe · November 2015

Thank you for this thread. I look forward to following and seeing the tips!! We plan on using coconut oil instead of vaseline as we are cloth diapering, but it's for the exact same reason!!

katiedid0907 · November 2015

One thing that really helped me when I was struggling with breastfeeding was that someone told me to never quit on a bad day. I made it longer than anticipated on that advice and although I ended up EPING it really helped me get through each tough day. Everything with a newborn really does get easier with time.
Also make sure you take anyone up on their offer if they offer to help. Cooking you a meal, watching the baby while you nap, or even just stopping by to talk can be really helpful when you are a first time mom.

ariasbabyblog · November 2015

When you get inundated with unasked for advice (or straight up bad advice) just remember that it comes from a well meaning place, and you can ignore ALL of it and do what works for you. Sometimes people do have good advice that is worth trying, so go ahead and listen when people blather at you, but if it doesn't work, then it doesn't, try something else. You are not going to ruin the baby. Babies at the newborn stage are honestly not going to remember that you tried cry it out vs baby wearing that one night. They are quite forgiving like that.

And most of all: IT'S OK. Yes, the baby is crying his brains out, but he's likely ok. Yes, you are likely crying your brains out, but you are ok. You hate your partner for whatever reason, and it's ok. Take a breath, recenter, and move forward, it's all ok.

Rratledge · November 2015

I'm lurking from D15, but I found that when my son was very fussy and nothing would calm him, fresh air would do the trick. On particularly tough days we would spend hours on the back porch. As soon as we stepped out of the house, he would be calm and quiet.

PedsIsHardcore · November 2015

1. Don't use baby wash. Use Dove unscented body wash instead for baby. That's my mom's recommendation to her parents of little ones. Because it has moisturizers and it's more gentle on baby's skin. I'm allergic to Dove, so I used Olay Quench.

2. If you don't like the chemicals in regular baby wipes, my mom always recommends Viva paper towels for babies with skin issues. Cut them down to size and you can make your own wipe spray or just use water.

3. I loved Triple Paste for any diaper rash. A small amount goes a long way so it took me forever to use up a whole tube of it. I even use it for patients.

4. I am against buying special bath tub crap for baby. My mom always bathed us in the sink using wash clothes and towels. Maybe one of those foam cushion things may help, but I washed my DD in the sink using regular wash clothes and regular towels.

5. I'm also a paranoid parent, so I have already started stocking up the diaper bag with Advil and anything I could think I would possibly need. I know it's super early for that, but I'd rather have it and not need it than forget to buy some and not have any due to a brain fart.

mamakculb · November 2015

Being a new mom is hard. Not in an impossible sort of way, but rather, in an "it takes work and time and patience" sort of way. Things you thought would be easy, are difficult and things you thought would be tough, are simple. Things that you never considered will come up. Your heart will get tugged at the weirdest things and you'll eat your words more than once. Forgive yourself, but learn from everything you do. Take others advice, but make your own judgments. The only bad parent is the one that doesn't try. Your baby WILL stop crying at some point, and it's okay if you have to cry too. Your baby will change as soon as you get settled into a routine and you'll be starting all over again. The days feel long but the years are short.

This isn't meant to scare anyone. Motherhood is AMAZING. It can be stressful, but there is nothing that compares to your child just wanting you and your touch. My son says "mama, hold you" and it makes my heart melt. Enjoy being a mommy!

saragilesmoore · November 2015

Something that never occurred to me was that breastfeeding doesn't work out for everyone. No one warned me it might be a possibility, and I never imagined I wouldn't be able to. I wanted and planned to breastfeed, but my daughter and I could never get it to work. I was induced at 37 weeks due to high blood pressure, and I think my body just wasn't ready. I pumped for the first month, but I would end up with about an ounce after 30 minutes of pumping.

At the time, I had a really hard time accepting that my body wouldn't perform like I thought it should and like I expected it to. I felt guilty and every time I turned around I was being reminded how much better off breastfed babies are.

In hindsight I wish I hadn't spent two precious weeks trying to force something that wasn't going to work. It added so much stress to an already stressful situation. And in the end, it turns out you can have a happy, healthy, intelligent formula-fed baby, too. My five-year-old daughter is proof

BarrettJ89 · November 2015

Don't be afraid to ask/accept help! This is all new, exhausting, and completely overwhelming. You have no idea how much better you will feel after a shower, a 20 minute nap, or just being able to eat with both hands!
On the same hand, don't be afraid to tell people to back off! Sometimes, you need to figure it out on your own. Bonding is important too!
Trust yourself and your gut instinct! Everyone has advice and stories (good and bad). Follow your guts, you're probably right!
And lastly, don't pass up on the sweet moments of snuggling your baby. It goes by so fast and in time, they will be much too mobile and busy to want to snuggle... when my 11 month old actually snuggles with me now, I'm usually on the verge of tears just because I never want that moment to end.

NillaWafers · November 2015

Since it's your first, and you won't have another kid to look after - so cliche but sleep when the baby does. I did with my first and I didn't feel too sleep deprived. 2nd is another story haha.

I don't think I have much to say that hasn't already been said. I think it's important to be flexible. Do what works for you, don't go into it with a mindset of how it's going to be.

ShannyFann · November 2015

Ok, in case no one has told you this yet, after you have the baby your body will want to get rid of the extra water weight by sweating. For me it was always at night while I slept. I woke up absolutely drenched in sweat and not because I was hot. It was so bad I needed to lay down towels on the bed and my pillow and change them when I got up to feed the baby. I'm talking buckets of sweat. So be prepared and have a change of jammies and possibly towels close at hand. A friend of mine said she sweat all day so she had to deal with it by changing her clothes several times throughout the day. Ugh.

holocene · November 2015

Get a Nose Frida.

maureenmce · November 2015

@ShannyFann - So interesting, I had no idea! My boss had mentioned that she had intense sweating after birth but she thought it was due to having preeclampsia. I had no idea that was the case with typical situations. Good to know!

Cejiml · November 2015

We used the Happiest baby on the block 5 s's to calm our little one. She still sleeps with a white noise machine and I still have the app on my phone which I'll be using in the hospital for #2. And as others said do what works for you.

hvwitham · November 2015

Postpartum is rough. No one told me this. Your hair may come out in clumps, night sweats are real and insane, I had a horrible time with my stitches the first time (but not the second), my tailbone was so sore, you might cry for no reason... All normal. Be kind to yourself and don't expect to be back to "normal" right away. If you don't feel like going out, don't. Keep the baby and yourself alive, and everything else is gravy!

ashs88 · November 2015

If you are pumping and it hurts, try a different size breast shield (the plastic funnel shaped part.) The shield size you need is based on your nipple size, not your breast size, so don't assume that if you have small boobs that you'll need the smallest shield!

deedeecmc79 · December 2015

1) Except as much help as you can get.
2) Be kind to yourself. If you have a hard tell with breastfeeding or milk production it is not the end of the world. You gave it your best shot.
3) If you start to feel loopy and stressed reach out for help. Postpartum is very real. The faster you act for help the better you will be.
4) I let go of guilt sending my LO to the nursery in the hospital. The reality is that those will be your last nights of full sleep for a while. On top of you are there to recover from labor.
5) It is possible that the first few days home will be stressful and at times scary. Reach out for as much help as available.

Those are some I can think of.
Good luck and enjoy. Remember this will all go by so quickly and before you know it you will have a toddler while getting ready to start it over again

SBH041815 · December 2015

This will be my third and there are things I wish I would have known before my two other LO's were born or things I learned during trial and error that really helped me now.

First, listen to your baby. I know what the books say and I know what other people say (and sometimes it's really good and useful stuff), but baby is designed to cry to tell you what he or she needs, not to just drive you crazy haha! So if your LO isn't fitting into the advice you've gotten; throw it out the window and trust your instincts. If you just fed baby and it won't stop crying; feed baby again, maybe that's it and maybe not, but you can try. Or any number of things. Baby can't read those books and doesn't know it's supposed to be on a schedule

Second, it can be so hard to take care of a baby needing round the clock care and feedings, but in hindsight it goes by in a blink! That baby will be up and crawling around in a few months(always wanting down to go go go) and you will be left will memories of a snuggly newborn...as my mom always said "This too shall pass".

Third, be kind to yourself. Don't give yourself a hard time about anything. Just be a mommy to your new baby; love them, hold them, feed them, and let everything else take a back burner for a while. Nothing detrimental will happen because of letting the house or any extras go for a while.

Fourth, if you have a really fussy baby (like my first was), unusual things work well to calm them. I used to run a hairdryer on low setting and she would just sit there and listen to the noise, or I let the water run in the sink and she loved that. Also, it can feel like your fault when baby won't stop crying and you've done everything you can do, but it's not! You're still a good mom even if you can't figure it out at the moment. Don't be afraid to try the "weird stuff", sometimes it works!!!

And last, sometimes it's hard to think this on the really difficult days (the ones you just survive through), but the memories of having your darling baby will be some of the most tender and cherished memories you will ever have. Take a moment every day and think how blessed you are to have that sweet little baby to hold and kiss. They grow up too soon! I look at my soon to be 13 year old every day and wonder where the time has gone.

Helpful Hints from STMs

Re: Helpful Hints from STMs

Choose Another Board

Search Boards