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January 2016 Moms
mesamyt
member
My Week From Hell... For Your Entertainment (very long rant)
mesamyt
member
Let's just say crappy in-laws, a holiday, and a pregnant woman do not mix.
Be forewarned this is a very long rant.
Monday afternoon I get a call from my inlaws saying that they hadn't left yet but would be on their way soon. I told them that since they wouldn't be here until late to please call or text myself or husband so we could let them in. They arrived at 12:45 that night and my MIL decided it would be more fun to bang on the front door, which caused my dogs to bark, which caused my kids to wake up and come downstairs to visit. It took over two hours to get them back to bed (they had school in the morning). The first words out of my MIL's mouth was not hello, or an apology, but her yelling at me for not telling her that I have cervical cancer (which I haven't even told my own kids yet). As if i was causing her pain. This is the same woman who underwent open heart surgery without telling anyone. Way to start a week long visit lady.
Tuesday morning, after getting grouchy kids off to school, MIL demanded we go shopping right then. FIL volunteered to watch my two younger kids, 4 and 2, so we could get our shopping done easier. MIL paid for all of the Thanksgiving food and for dinner that night. I got to pay for everything else, without FIL's credit card as previously promised. When we got home I found my little girls playing in my front yard, FIL was asleep on the couch inside. When I found him inside I started screaming in his face about their safety. He said I was crazy and that he wasn't sleeping. My MIL said she would make it up by making dinner that night (a Stouffers lasagna). She left it on the counter all day to "defrost". It wasn't cooked until 9 hours later. Needless to say that everyone was fighting over the bathrooms that night. I've never been more grateful to have 3 bathrooms.
Wednesday the in-laws yelled at me because the kids had school again. I told them I don't care if it's a half day or not, they are not going to interfere with my children's education. After that I needed to get out of the house so I came up with bogus errands. I took my little girls with me just so I had piece of mind. When I came home I found my bedroom door handle had been busted off. (MIL has a nasty habit of snooping for anything she can use to get FIL upset about or lecture us about. She's gone through bank statements, investments, pay checks, bills, personal belongings, etc. she doesn't care. Husband and I both know this so we have to put locks on our door. Hubby even brought home a professional filing cabinet from work with locks just so we can lock up our personal information. Even my older girls have had to start locking their doors and hiding their journals.) Anyway, when I found it I was furious and called her on it. She acted dumb and pretended to not know what I was talking about and even tried to blame it on my kids, who were at school or with me. I spent the rest of the day fixing my door and then locking myself in my room until husband came home. I made dinner that night so no one would get sick. FIL was pissed off because SIL was suppose to be here by dinner. No one had heard from her yet.
Thursday, Thanksgiving, still no word from SIL. We all called, texted, fb messages. Nothing. MIL started the holiday dinner. In the middle of cooking she walks up and puts her hands on my stomach and says "I haven't gotten to feel my baby all week". I told her it wasn't her baby, it was her grandchild and she wasn't awake at the moment. She got mad the baby wasn't kicking so she started pushing hard on my stomach to get LO to move. It took me smacking her twice for her to finally get her hands off of me. I then sat my butt on the couch and watched football with husband and played board games with my kids. MIL and FIL both kept yelling at us from the kitchen because I didn't have the appropriate dishes/utensils/whatever even though we told them that beforehand and told them to bring everything from home. Husband would not let me get up from the couch because he know I would lose it. Their cooking, once again, made me sick and I spent most of the evening clinging to the toilet. About 9 that night FIL threw his phone against the wall. He finally got a text from SIL that said "Happy Thanksgiving". That's it. Nothing else.
Friday couldn't come fast enough. Kids were out of school, husband got off of work early, it was suppose to be date night. I spent the morning in my jammies, completely ignored my in-laws. It was blissful. Husband came home shortly after lunch and we started making plans for our date. We were going to go see Mockingjay and take our older girls with us, then hit up target for some Black Friday sales. As we were heading upstairs to get ready my MIL starts throwing a fit and crying "Why does he have to take her out?! She hasn't had to do anything! Why does she need a date?!" After about 10 minutes of her fit throwing FIL tells husband that they won't babysit but will take the whole family out for dinner instead. We go to dinner and I sat at the opposite end of the table so I don't have to deal with them at all. We have dinner, and as we are getting ready to leave husband starts yelling at FIL. Apparently he left a $5 tip on a meal for 9 people that was over $100. Husband has a big problem with his parents being super cheap especially when the service is great. So I pulled out $30 out of my wallet and sought out our waitress to give her a better tip while they yelled at each other and made a scene. Once I got kids in the car I told my inlaws that we were going out shopping as we had originally planned, handed them a key to the house, and left them without saying another word. By the time we got home it was really late and 4 of our kids went straight to bed. Husband told his parents they needed to leave in the morning and we both went upstairs without speaking to them the rest of the night.
Saturday morning we woke up to the sound of an air mattress deflating and FIL cussing. The motor on their mattress scratched our front room wall. And by scratched I mean down to the drywall. A 4 inch by 2 foot scratch. I heard my MIL say "just throw a towel over it. They'll never notice". At that point I pushed husband out of bed and sent him downstairs. FIL told hubby that it was scratched because my kids were jumping on the mattress (which they were never allowed to do). Husband said it was probably because of his 400lb fat ass instead. Hubs came back upstairs to ask if I had any touch up paint and I told him I didn't. FIL didn't take that answer and started going through cabinets, slamming doors, and broke off a cabinet door in my laundry room. I heard the bang, came downstairs (boobs flailing) and told him to GTFO out of my house. He proceeded to tell me how shitty of a house I have, how shitty of a week he had, that I'm a horrible hostess and don't take care of my own children, that they never should have come, blah blah blah. Husband shoved his father (who is 6ft7in by the way) out the front door and told them they are not welcome to come back.
After they left husband and I both cried. Family isn't suppose to be like this. Hubby has a very big heart and is so forgiving. But we both agreed that after this week we will never spend another holiday, or any extended period of time for that matter, with his family again.
Sunday was FIL's birthday. Hubby called him to wish him a happy birthday. FIL kept thanking him for a wonderful visit, and how much they already miss our family and how they can't wait to come out in 4 weeks or so to visit when baby gets here. I told hubby they are not welcome to come out but I know he will let it happen.
I still haven't heard from SIL...
Be forewarned this is a very long rant.
Monday afternoon I get a call from my inlaws saying that they hadn't left yet but would be on their way soon. I told them that since they wouldn't be here until late to please call or text myself or husband so we could let them in. They arrived at 12:45 that night and my MIL decided it would be more fun to bang on the front door, which caused my dogs to bark, which caused my kids to wake up and come downstairs to visit. It took over two hours to get them back to bed (they had school in the morning). The first words out of my MIL's mouth was not hello, or an apology, but her yelling at me for not telling her that I have cervical cancer (which I haven't even told my own kids yet). As if i was causing her pain. This is the same woman who underwent open heart surgery without telling anyone. Way to start a week long visit lady.
Tuesday morning, after getting grouchy kids off to school, MIL demanded we go shopping right then. FIL volunteered to watch my two younger kids, 4 and 2, so we could get our shopping done easier. MIL paid for all of the Thanksgiving food and for dinner that night. I got to pay for everything else, without FIL's credit card as previously promised. When we got home I found my little girls playing in my front yard, FIL was asleep on the couch inside. When I found him inside I started screaming in his face about their safety. He said I was crazy and that he wasn't sleeping. My MIL said she would make it up by making dinner that night (a Stouffers lasagna). She left it on the counter all day to "defrost". It wasn't cooked until 9 hours later. Needless to say that everyone was fighting over the bathrooms that night. I've never been more grateful to have 3 bathrooms.
Wednesday the in-laws yelled at me because the kids had school again. I told them I don't care if it's a half day or not, they are not going to interfere with my children's education. After that I needed to get out of the house so I came up with bogus errands. I took my little girls with me just so I had piece of mind. When I came home I found my bedroom door handle had been busted off. (MIL has a nasty habit of snooping for anything she can use to get FIL upset about or lecture us about. She's gone through bank statements, investments, pay checks, bills, personal belongings, etc. she doesn't care. Husband and I both know this so we have to put locks on our door. Hubby even brought home a professional filing cabinet from work with locks just so we can lock up our personal information. Even my older girls have had to start locking their doors and hiding their journals.) Anyway, when I found it I was furious and called her on it. She acted dumb and pretended to not know what I was talking about and even tried to blame it on my kids, who were at school or with me. I spent the rest of the day fixing my door and then locking myself in my room until husband came home. I made dinner that night so no one would get sick. FIL was pissed off because SIL was suppose to be here by dinner. No one had heard from her yet.
Thursday, Thanksgiving, still no word from SIL. We all called, texted, fb messages. Nothing. MIL started the holiday dinner. In the middle of cooking she walks up and puts her hands on my stomach and says "I haven't gotten to feel my baby all week". I told her it wasn't her baby, it was her grandchild and she wasn't awake at the moment. She got mad the baby wasn't kicking so she started pushing hard on my stomach to get LO to move. It took me smacking her twice for her to finally get her hands off of me. I then sat my butt on the couch and watched football with husband and played board games with my kids. MIL and FIL both kept yelling at us from the kitchen because I didn't have the appropriate dishes/utensils/whatever even though we told them that beforehand and told them to bring everything from home. Husband would not let me get up from the couch because he know I would lose it. Their cooking, once again, made me sick and I spent most of the evening clinging to the toilet. About 9 that night FIL threw his phone against the wall. He finally got a text from SIL that said "Happy Thanksgiving". That's it. Nothing else.
Friday couldn't come fast enough. Kids were out of school, husband got off of work early, it was suppose to be date night. I spent the morning in my jammies, completely ignored my in-laws. It was blissful. Husband came home shortly after lunch and we started making plans for our date. We were going to go see Mockingjay and take our older girls with us, then hit up target for some Black Friday sales. As we were heading upstairs to get ready my MIL starts throwing a fit and crying "Why does he have to take her out?! She hasn't had to do anything! Why does she need a date?!" After about 10 minutes of her fit throwing FIL tells husband that they won't babysit but will take the whole family out for dinner instead. We go to dinner and I sat at the opposite end of the table so I don't have to deal with them at all. We have dinner, and as we are getting ready to leave husband starts yelling at FIL. Apparently he left a $5 tip on a meal for 9 people that was over $100. Husband has a big problem with his parents being super cheap especially when the service is great. So I pulled out $30 out of my wallet and sought out our waitress to give her a better tip while they yelled at each other and made a scene. Once I got kids in the car I told my inlaws that we were going out shopping as we had originally planned, handed them a key to the house, and left them without saying another word. By the time we got home it was really late and 4 of our kids went straight to bed. Husband told his parents they needed to leave in the morning and we both went upstairs without speaking to them the rest of the night.
Saturday morning we woke up to the sound of an air mattress deflating and FIL cussing. The motor on their mattress scratched our front room wall. And by scratched I mean down to the drywall. A 4 inch by 2 foot scratch. I heard my MIL say "just throw a towel over it. They'll never notice". At that point I pushed husband out of bed and sent him downstairs. FIL told hubby that it was scratched because my kids were jumping on the mattress (which they were never allowed to do). Husband said it was probably because of his 400lb fat ass instead. Hubs came back upstairs to ask if I had any touch up paint and I told him I didn't. FIL didn't take that answer and started going through cabinets, slamming doors, and broke off a cabinet door in my laundry room. I heard the bang, came downstairs (boobs flailing) and told him to GTFO out of my house. He proceeded to tell me how shitty of a house I have, how shitty of a week he had, that I'm a horrible hostess and don't take care of my own children, that they never should have come, blah blah blah. Husband shoved his father (who is 6ft7in by the way) out the front door and told them they are not welcome to come back.
After they left husband and I both cried. Family isn't suppose to be like this. Hubby has a very big heart and is so forgiving. But we both agreed that after this week we will never spend another holiday, or any extended period of time for that matter, with his family again.
Sunday was FIL's birthday. Hubby called him to wish him a happy birthday. FIL kept thanking him for a wonderful visit, and how much they already miss our family and how they can't wait to come out in 4 weeks or so to visit when baby gets here. I told hubby they are not welcome to come out but I know he will let it happen.
I still haven't heard from SIL...
Re: My Week From Hell... For Your Entertainment (very long rant)
I am better SIL was a no show and had an amazing holiday!
Change the locks on your house, your phone numbers, and gag your husband and his soft forgiving heart, and tell you in laws you moved!
Ps: i am So Sorry about you Dx... I will pray thu ga work out for you and your family...
Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!
Baby Dust To All!!!
I'm a VERY opionated person, I would have sent them packing the second they got there and woke the kids up.
At the end of the day, it's YOUR house, YOUR rules. If you say please call before coming over then that's what shoul be done.
Mil sounds like a complete drama queen.
Let's not even start on them breaking the handle and snooping through your room. (If there's a next time, put out scandalous things- ie: dildo, lube, wips, handcuffs- etc sit back and enjoy the show)
I'm sorry you had to deal with that, I couldn't imagine. I'm glad my SO's mom lives in another country and my family never comes over. I couldn't handle rudeness of some people.
( let it be known I got pissed off because my roommate burned milk in my favorite pot.... He better be glad he wasn't home when I found out- there may have been cursing)
Your ILs make my MIL look like a saint. Lend me them for a week, I'll fix them for you. Or hide their bodies. Whatever.
DS1 01/08/03 DD1 08/11/04 DD2 10/06/08 DS2 09/30/14
SURPRISE! Hannah May born 01/22/16
@GAgirlinSDakota I was so hoping you had read this. Lol I was dying to read your comparison/opinion!
She's more of a saint than I could ever be. I would have snapped and put them and their bags out over the door handle incident. And if DH didn't like it, he could go too.
I wasn't always a hard-ass. I used to be a push-over with my (now ex) ILs. Back then I would have totally put up with crap like this and just cried later. It was easier to just put up with it since they lived 14hrs away...until my MIL spanked my (then...2008?) 5yr old DS. I totally get the OP, I just hope she and her DH can find a way to deal with the ILs together that makes them both happy.
DS1 01/08/03 DD1 08/11/04 DD2 10/06/08 DS2 09/30/14
SURPRISE! Hannah May born 01/22/16
Sad thing is those were the highlights of my weekend. I didn't include a fun interaction between my vacationing neighbors and my daughter, hubby, or self because of my dogs, or watching my MIL tear skin off of raw chicken with her teeth. Or the fact that I've had lower back cramps since Thursday, and started spotting last night (which hubby is freaking out about).
Hey, maybe I'll have the baby early and just not tell them! A girl can dream (not the early baby part, the keeping the ILs out of it all).
Married DH: 2013
DD: Dec 2015
BFP 8/14/17 --> Due 4/27/2018
Low progesterone
Baby boy born 01/2016
Currently: NTNP
I'm just thankful they all live 8 hours away.
Go no contact and go no contact ASAP.