How and why do you do it?

ldmw · October 2015

I've been back to work full time for 2 months and it has not gotten any easier. How do you mamas do it? I wish I could work part time because that would be the best balance for me but that's not an option my employer offers. I love my job and I want to work, I just don't have the right balance right now.

How do you moms do it? I feel like I'm missing out so much in my baby's development and growth. I get to see her while she sleeps through the week, minus maybe an hour total she is awake. The weekends are the best but they aren't long enough. Does it ever get easier? Will I always feel guilty?

NLewis1 · October 2015

It gets easier as they get older and are awake more and stay up later. My son is 13 months old and is awake the full time I have him in the evening and goes to bed around 7:30 or 8. I used to feel like I missed a ton of time with him when he was really little, but then someone reminded me he was sleeping all day with the nanny anyway. That made me feel better. Just try to be as present as possible when you are with them.

SmrBrd2012 · October 2015

I do it because I honestly don't have a choice in the matter. I'm about 2.5 months into being back at work after 10.5 weeks of mat leave and it just wasn't enough. I miss him all the time and I feel like every time I see him after work he's grown more and acts older! I don't really feel "guilty" since I know he is in good hands and I know I'm doing it so we can be financially secure. I more so feel saddened for myself. I know that he's fine and he won't even remember that mom had to work.

To make it a little easier, maybe you can get up earlier before work to see her? Sometimes I try to do that but I already get up super early. Can you manipulate your schedule at all so you work one long day a week and leave a little early the rest of the week? I've been doing that and it's been working out pretty well. I get to see him for about 2 hours before bedtime that way. Good luck mama!

BabyHope2013 · October 2015

It does get easier as they get older and can stay up longer. I also have learned to maximize my time as much as possible using online shopping. I am a prime member---so I can have diapers and other household things delivered to my door. I also signed up for a Target debit red card and Kohls charge since that is mainly where I will buy DS's clothes from and I can get great coupon deals and free shipping from there. Anytime there is a birthday present needed---it comes from one of those three places, delivered to my door. I also meal plan so that I only go to the grocery store once a week. And I do get up early or stay up late to prep for the next nights meal (cutting up veggies, marinating meat etc) I even lay out cookie sheets and pots/pans, pantry items etc on the counter before I leave for work in the morning so I can make dinner as quickly as possible.

SLGILL1978 · October 2015

It does get easier. When they young and/or babies they are getting much needed sleep.
During the week, I would get our clothes ready for the next day the night before, I did all my daughter's baths at night, I would take long lunches so I could grocery shop or run errands. I definitely used my crock pot a lot. I never meal planned unless you count taking meat out of the freezer to unthaw.
And I never missed any of my daughter's first by being a working mom. It's definitely much harder on Mommy than baby.

tlc11934 · November 2015

My oldest is 6 1/2 years and I still don't feel balanced. I do use my lunch breaks to run errands and also while she's at dance class. I feel tired all the time and like I'm missing so much. Sorry , I have no advice, just wanted to say you're not alone.

theredofhead · November 2015

So tough, but it does get easier! Does you employer have any work from home or modified schedule options? I am able to work from home two days a week and when I am in the office work 6-2:30 (typical office hours here are 8-5). My husband does daycare drop-offs and I pick up so there is more time in the afternoon with DD. Like PP said, anything during the week to help save time with shopping/meals/house stuff adds time with baby for you.

If this is what works best for you and you family, then its perfect. I always see posts from other moms on Facebook about how they much they love staying home and how they could never work and leave their baby... which initially added to my stress and sometimes made me feel like I wasn't a good mom, but you know what? I am doing what is best for my family financially and and for myself professionally. DD LOVES going to daycare and they are absolutely teaching/providing her with things she would not get exposed to at home. Thinking of the pros and not focusing on the cons has definitely helped me in my journey back to work.

skibunny59 · November 2015

I am back to work with 2 kids and it is freakin' hard. I feel like it was harder going back this time than last time. Honestly, the only reason I am able to survive is I am a teacher and my work day ends at 3, I have summers off, weeks off during the school year for holidays and such, etc. Sorry. That probably doesn't make you feel any better. Honestly, though I don't know how other women (how work full time all year round) do it either. You are super heroes.

I hear it does get easier once your kids are school age.

tracij12 · November 2015

Ya it sucks and you sortof just have to get used to it. The guilt for me subsided a little over a year when my little girl could more easily express her feelings and it was clear she was happy (either with grandma or at her daycare). We also have a much later bedtime than most parents would probably be comfortable with b/c I want more time with her.

@skibunny59, I don't want to be Debbie Downer, but I'm not sure I agree that it gets easier when they are school aged. Mine aren't there yet, but my niece and nephew are and it seems it just becomes a different challenge. For example, this week my nephew had parent teacher conference and a family thanksgiving feast and my niece had an awards ceremony.....ALL during the work day. My brother and SIL tried to split it but one works retail and trying to take a few hours each day this week off was impossible and they felt terrible having to choose what to miss. Thankfully my Mom is close by and could fill in but still heart wrenching as a parent to know you can not be everywhere to support your kids because you have to work

Honu1987 · December 2015

I went back to work full time after my maternity leave was up. We live in Las Vegas and neither of us have family out here to help us with LO. So we had his mom fly down from California to stay with us while I worked that month (to ensure I wouldn't be penalized for health insurance coverage premiums paid by the company during my leave). It was tough! I worked 9 to 5, as did my husband. With the lack of sleep and having to be on duty when I came home, it was hard. Thankfully, I was able to find a part time job shortly after and be at home with baby when my husband is at work. It's tough now bc my LO is so attached to me, my husband has a difficult time soothing him during the 14 hours I work in a week. I do miss the adult life and have to convince my husband that I am more than a milk factory to our LO and therefore need to get out of the house once in a while.

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How and why do you do it?

Re: How and why do you do it?

Mrs. H

Crohn's Dx: August 2008

Endometriosis Dx: May 2010

Married: 05/19/2012

TTC #1: June 2013

BFP: December 2013

DS: Born 08/29/2014

TTC #2: July 2015

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