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August 2015 Moms
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Therapy Time!

mothernorthmothernorth member
in August 2015 Moms
Okay ladies, I'm sure there are plenty out there who are feeling worn down, having difficulty with their marriages and relationships right now, over stressed with the little one(s), and would just like to talk or vent and get a little feedback. That's what I'm posting this for and it's a free-for-all. Please be kind to one another if you choose to post or respond to posts. So, how are you all doing?
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Re: Therapy Time!

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    banfrogbanfrog member
    edited November 2015
    I have been avoiding my friends and times to be sociable. Now my friends are all concerned I'm depressed. The truth is all my friends are emotionally driven people, and I'm logic driven. I find the time I spend with them very draining trying to be emotionally conscious. I care for them all very much and I value them but I need time to just be myself without all the feels. I'm tired of the "oh poor you. home alone with 4 kids all under 4 years old." I enjoy being home with my kids. What I need right now is not emotional projection (my friends like to think that I feel how they would feel in my place and really push me to feel that), but intellectual stimulation.
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    Charlotta83 Charlotta83 member
    I feel overwhelmed sometimes by how busy it can be with two 5-year-olds and a newborn. And I always feel guilty because I feel that my older boys don't get so much attention now because of baby. So I question myself and the kind of parent I am, and I am trying to do my best but feel so exhausted at times. I also feel guilty if I ever take an hour for myself. Oh the guilt. All the time. I have dark circles under my eyes, i dont recognize myself when I look in the mirror. But I love my family more than anything.
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    melanier26melanier26 member
    My LO had health issues right off the bat so I've been working to get my anxiety in regards to his health under control. I think I've gotten a lot better...everything used to cause me to freak out thinking that something was wrong. He is my first and I feel like I'm just starting to feel somewhat normal now. I'm kind of terrified to get pregnant again!
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    mothernorthmothernorth member
    @banfrog I know what you mean about craving intellectual stimulation, good lord do I ever. I can also relate to not really having that available with my own, small social circle. My man is the only one who offers me that, and college helps a bit too!

    @Charlotta83 Do not question your parenting, or even your sanity! Woman you have your hands full, if you need some time, go get it and get it guilt free!

    @MrT723 Just breath!
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    lovelylisa2191lovelylisa2191 member
    My LO is still up about every 3 hours at night to feed, 16 weeks today, and I feel like I'm starting to lose my effin mind. Idk how much longer my brain can handle without a full night sleep. Most days I hate my SO, which I attribute a lot to my sleep deprivation, and we're trying to get an appt with a therapist. It makes me feel like a bad GF and mom most days hopefully some sleep and an outside perspective will get us back on track. GL to you ladies also struggling!!
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    mothernorthmothernorth member
    @lovelylisa2191 What is your routine like? Are you exclusively breast feeding, bottle feeding, do you work or are you a stay at home mom, what is your daytime schedule like and how much does your LO sleep during the day? Sounds like you may benefit from starting sleep training if you're comfortable with that and able to do so.
    As far as disliking your SO goes, it just comes with the territory of new parenting sometimes unfortunately, but give him some credit and the benefit of the doubt! Our poor men need as much encouragement during this time as we do. Have you recruited him to help out with the baby at night so you can get a bit more shut eye? I can't offer much advice since I don't know your personal schedule and routine, but I'm sure with some work you can get on top of all of this, just relax! It doesn't last forever =)
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    psherman42wwsapsherman42wwsa member
    lovelylisa2191 said:
    My LO is still up about every 3 hours at night to feed, 16 weeks today, and I feel like I'm starting to lose my effin mind. Idk how much longer my brain can handle without a full night sleep. Most days I hate my SO, which I attribute a lot to my sleep deprivation, and we're trying to get an appt with a therapist. It makes me feel like a bad GF and mom most days hopefully some sleep and an outside perspective will get us back on track. GL to you ladies also struggling!!



    My LO is also 16 weeks and continues to get up every 3 at night. I dont have any advice because I'm trying everything and its not working! But at least we know were not alone... seems like everyone I talk to says their baby was sleeping through the night at this age and it only makes me angry. Lack of sleep for almost 4 months really is draining and is tough on your sanity.

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    psherman42wwsapsherman42wwsa member
    Does anyone send their LO to daycare and feel like people judge you for it? I work part time and my LO goes to an in home daycare 1-2 days a week and my mom watches him 1 day a week as well. I love the daycare I chose and I feel completely comfortable with him going there. Infact, I dont think I could have found a better daycare. People at work and certain family members are always asking who is watching LO and I have to constantly justify myself when I say "oh hes at daycare today", I get the "ohhhh daycare, dont you worry whats going on there? or did you see on the news". SO ANNOYING. Not like I have a choice really! I need to work a couple days a week and I dont have any family that can watch him. My husband and I feel comfortable with the daycare but I hate having to justify it all the time.
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    banfrogbanfrog member
    @AllyTheKid what are you taking in college?
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    Knottie1459358632Knottie1459358632 member
    @lovelylisa2191 I am with you! My boy will be 17 weeks on Tuesday and we are still up every 2-3 hours to feed. I'm so insanely tired! My husband helps on the weekend but then complains about being tired! I feel so guilty for being so angry with him. I am hoping we start sleeping more soon because I'm struggling
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    cloudedeyescloudedeyes member
    My fiance rarely helps with the baby. I get that he works, but we had the same job before i seperated to stay home with the baby and i know its not as hard and busy as he claims when he gets home. He plays video games constantly and whenever i try to talk or ask him something he snaps at me for distracting hom from the game. I have 0 friends and have no one to talk to ever besides my baby and i feel like I'm losing my mind. I also feel horrible for wanting to talk to people and i feel like I'm not a good mom every time i ask SO for help he says that i cant do anything by myself and i just want to raise my son to be a good man and to be happy but I'm so frustrated and sad i dont want to effect him i want to be a good mom.... And I'm rambling.... Sorry, that is all.
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    banfrogbanfrog member
    @cloudedeyes don't feel bad for wanting to socialize. And don't let your SO make you feel like you're failing when you ask for help. There is nothing wrong with needing help, especially for mothers. Try finding a mom's group or join a mommy and me class to connect with others. Or if you know any older grandma types, maybe get connected there. I have a couple older lady friends that have provided me more support as a mother than others my own age.
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    MouseMama817MouseMama817 member
    lrwardrop said:
    Does anyone send their LO to daycare and feel like people judge you for it? I work part time and my LO goes to an in home daycare 1-2 days a week and my mom watches him 1 day a week as well. I love the daycare I chose and I feel completely comfortable with him going there. Infact, I dont think I could have found a better daycare. People at work and certain family members are always asking who is watching LO and I have to constantly justify myself when I say "oh hes at daycare today", I get the "ohhhh daycare, dont you worry whats going on there? or did you see on the news". SO ANNOYING. Not like I have a choice really! I need to work a couple days a week and I dont have any family that can watch him. My husband and I feel comfortable with the daycare but I hate having to justify it all the time.
    Boy would this piss me off. I mean, what do you coworkers expect to hear when they ask where he is? At home alone? Obviously you wouldn't just drop your kid off at the first place you saw; it sounds like you did some research. You have your child's best interests at heart more than anyone else so if you're confident in his care, don't let your coworkers make you feel guilty. So sorry you have to put up with other people's stupidity. 
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    mothernorthmothernorth member
    @Irwardrop I went through that with my first working full time. I believe the appropriate term to use in that instance is "fuck 'em". Tell them you just left LO in the dryer because you know he can't roll out of there... not really. Maybe... I would (and have). But I'm incredibly inappropriate when I'm irritated haha.

    @cloudedeyes what banfrog said, sister. Worth a shot. Honestly, thebump is the majority of the socialization I do outside of babbling with baby and taking care of my other two goons and man.

    @banfrog I'm going for Secondary Art Education, but my side courses are pretty cool. In my English class we focus a lot on what is and isn't considered politically correct, why and why not, and are free to say whether we think it's ignorant bullshit or not. Honestly, it's more of a debate class, we just have to submit our thoughts in cited MLA format ;) intellectual stimulation at it's finest, and it's a god send! I can't wait until I start my Political Science and American National Government classes, especially with the election around the corner, this should be very interesting.
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