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October 2015 Moms
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If you're done... How did you know??

ashnictriashnictri member
in October 2015 Moms
If your October baby was your last baby, how did you know? I know it's early...but my husband and I have been going back and forth between adding another in the future. We have a 3 year old daughter, and now a 5 week old son. I have always heard that you "just know", but that's not the case for us! I'm the most indecisive person! Just looking for insight, and to hear others stories and how you decided! :)
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Re: If you're done... How did you know??

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    clairesmommabearclairesmommabear member
    I always wanted two, and would have considered a third if I had had two of the same gender. I was super excited when I had a girl and a boy so I am now done.

    I grew up with many siblings, and saw my mother struggle so much to provide for us as a single mother after she and my father divorced. (I was six.) I decided that it would be best if I had two, enough to keep myself from spoiling an only child, but not so many that I couldn't afford to give my children more than I had growing up should anything happen to their father or myself.

    They won't have to share a room with 2 or 3 other people. They will be able to have new things rather than only getting hand-me-downs. They can get more than one present for their birthdays and Christmas that aren't something they absolutely needed. They will get vacations and other fun stuff. I'll be able to give them more individual attention as well.

    My mother did so much to take care of us, and provide for our needs. I will always appreciate it. But with so many of us she couldn't afford to get all the extras without being away all the time. We wanted and needed her to be present, so we were happy with what we received.

    Anyway, that's the main reason I'm done now. Plus...labor suuuuucks!
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    jazzystar9jazzystar9 member
    Oh believe me you will know! lol I have 4 between the ages of 16 and 4 wks and we are SO done! We weren't supposed to have a number 4 but my birth control failed and my hubby wouldn't go and get a vasectomy (although I am pretty sure he learned his lesson haha!) Financially we are good with raising the 4 we have so to add more kids would be crazy
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    jazzystar9jazzystar9 member
    i had more written but when I posted it the rest dissappeared...what a pain! lol
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    ameares721ameares721 member
    I can't speak to the question at hand, but I can say that maybe such life-changing decisions should not be made during such a hormonal time? When my baby was 5 weeks I would have cried at the thought of her being my last baby!!!
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    jazzystar9jazzystar9 member
    edited November 2015
    this app is being really screwy on my phone so if there are a couple different responses from me sorry in advance
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    mommav83mommav83 member
    I am still debating on having another. I currently have two but ds is 10 and dd is 2 months. I always wanted 3 and now I'm 32 and thinking I might be done. The problem I'm having is now both children will be raised like only a for stretches of time and won't really be able to relate to each other. I know ds adores his little sis but in 8 years he will be in college and I she'll be her with mom and dad by herself so yeah definitely not sure if I'm done. On the other hand recovery was harder this go around and it guarantees it being a c-section again and well that's the part that makes me think for the time being I'm good.
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    maiatenemaiatene member
    edited November 2015
    I have what I believe is the perfect family scenario for me and frankly what I prayed for.

    I had my son in 2012 and was fine with him being my only child (hubby's 2), but in my heart I wanted a second child for mainly 3 reasons - I wanted to experience pregnancy again, I didn't want my boy to be burdened with taking care of us by himself, and I didn't want him to be alone if we both passed.

    Three weeks ago I was blessed with a daughter and I feel a sense of peace. I have the proverbial "perfect family" and my son has a buddy for life. Granted there's always the possibility they'll hate each other or throw us in a home when the time comes but I did my part lol. I also don't feel it in my heart to have another one like I did after having my son. If I'm blessed again I'll welcome it but if it's up to me the shop is closed
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    lorna1979lorna1979 member
    I agree that you'll just 'know'. I think if you're even contemplating having another baby then that's a good sign that you want one! I've just had my fourth and after all of mines I knew I would have another one but this time I just feel like I'm done. I also think sometimes you have to look at it in a practical way and take finances and the time you get to spend with your other kids into consideration, its about the quality of your life with them too. I'm just really looking forward to spending time and having fun with my family without being pregnant or recovering from csection or sleep deprived!
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    doe2813doe2813 member
    My SO other and I both have two girls each from previous relationships, we were happy with just the 4 girls esp since they are older and self sufficient. But we were surprisingly blessed with a DS!! Now I would love to have another child so he has someone to play with and grow up with since our girls are ages 12-9. My SO thinks 6 kids would just be crazy and we may finically struggle adding a 6th. I think the struggle would be worth the love we could give another child. He talks about having a vasectomy since I can not take Bc but has not made an attempt so I feel like he may not truly be done!
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    midge519midge519 member
    SO and I each have two kids from previous marriages (him two boys, me one of each). We decided that we wanted one together and here is DS. This is the first time I haven't had phantom kicks, constantly touch my belly, or genuinely miss the feeling of being pregnant. We both have said he was our only together and feeling how I do has actually confirmed that for me. I can feel I'm done. I would love to have the opportunity to do a surrogate after a few years but for my children I know I'm done.

    All of this said after I had my daughter with my ex I swore I'd never have any more of my own. She was almost 2 when my ex and I split. Even then I never had the feelings of actually being done like I do now.
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    koriemokoriemo member
    I would wait until LO is a year or more before deciding if I wanted another. LO might get to be two and you'll be ready for another. Or maybe you'll be ready to be done with that stage. Don't decide yet!
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    erinboehmeerinboehme member
    I just had #5 and still don't have that feeling. I have 4 boys and just had a girl. If I KNEW the next one would be another girl for DD to play with, I would totally do it, but DH says we're done. We'll see.
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    chein1chein1 member
    My husband and I both swore up and down that we were one and done. Well, obviously not because we just had our second daughter. We are done now though. DD1 is his twin, DD2 is mine. We actually took a photo of him holding DD1 and me holding DD2 on Thanksgiving, and as I was looking at it I had this feeling of being complete now. Even though our second was an "oops", she is the missing piece that I didn't even know was missing until she was here :)
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    Pink283Pink283 member
    edited November 2015
    I just had my 3rd and I feel done! I always wanted 3 and I love the order of mine: boy, girl, girl. This was also my 3rd c-section and I don't feel like putting my body through it again. My husband also feels our family is complete. We had all 3 in about 4 years, so we're ready to watch our children grow and have fun!
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    mandala1107mandala1107 member
    Just had my second and now have each sex. My daughter is 5 and my son is 5 weeks. We are done... Out of bedrooms. However... DH could probably talk me into another, but it would involve a new house. Neither of us are willing to make permanent moves to ensure no more kids because we don't want to close that door, but we may consider it in a year or so. Like I said, we are done (more than likely) but will not make that decision for sure until we have actually lived with 2 kids for a while.
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    MrsL32MrsL32 member
    This was our 3rd, a girl after 2 boys, and we definitely know we are done. We were going back and forth about a 3rd, the timing was a surprise...but getting our girl definitely cemented the fact that we are done and our family is complete. Prior to her being born, I thought I'd never have the 'done' feeling, but I do now, and it's really allowing me to savor every moment of her babyhood, and I know it's my last time to experience this!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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    jenn2132jenn2132 member
    edited November 2015
    My husband has a son from a previous relationship and shortly after we married we had another son together. Since my husband has had custody of our oldest son since he was a year of age our boys have grown up together. For years my husband was done with the two boys but I always wanted another. Finally after 7 years my husband had a change of heart and we tried for a third which gave us our little girl. While I was happy with my two boys for all those years there was always a little piece of me that hoped for another baby. Now that I have my three kids I feel very confident we are done.
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