dms030011 said:We're having a slightly awkward situation in the family and aren't sure what to do about it... My BIL and his gf got pregnant, not intentionally. Family has since met the gf once and there's been no indication made that we will be a part of this child's life. Prior to this, BIL was planning to break up with her and was not taking the relationship seriously, just some background.I love, love, love, my nephews and would do anything for them but I don't know this woman. I want to be the same aunt to her child as I am for my current nephews. Question is- what should I/ we (family) expect? Do we need to push or ask to be included in the baby's life or is it up to mom?Case in point, it's been made clear that BIL is expecting gifts for the baby shower but neither my SIL, MIL, or myself were invited. (why I'm asking on the shower board) When we ask how mommy-to-be is, we get nothing back. I've already gotten baby gifts for them for Christmas and will send lots of diapers or something similar once baby arrives. DH and I will visit once the baby comes, which is a $1500+ trip... Do I need to send anything extra for the shower? Am I doing enough? Do I acknowledge that they are having a shower even though I haven't been invited? Don't know what to do here!!!! Any advice is appreciated.
You say "there is no indication made that we will be part of this child's life" but does that need to actually be said? I realize you guys have only met the GF once but perhaps you guys need to just be patient and see how this plays out. I'm sure you are excited for another niece or nephew but no matter what you do, you cannot control what this woman does or how involved you will be in the child's life. Unfortunately your BIL was really stupid and got this chick knocked up so HE has to deal with that, not you guys.
If they don't invite you to the baby shower then I wouldn't send gifts. Unless they say they want you there after the baby is born, I wouldn't plan a $1500 trip.
It sounds like you mean well, I really believe that but you should back off a bit and maybe not try so hard.
Answers