We're having a slightly awkward situation in the family and aren't sure what to do about it... My BIL and his gf got pregnant, not intentionally. Family has since met the gf once and there's been no indication made that we will be a part of this child's life. Prior to this, BIL was planning to break up with her and was not taking the relationship seriously, just some background.
I love, love, love, my nephews and would do anything for them but I don't know this woman. I want to be the same aunt to her child as I am for my current nephews. Question is- what should I/ we (family) expect? Do we need to push or ask to be included in the baby's life or is it up to mom?
Case in point, it's been made clear that BIL is expecting gifts for the baby shower but neither my SIL, MIL, or myself were invited. (why I'm asking on the shower board) When we ask how mommy-to-be is, we get nothing back. I've already gotten baby gifts for them for Christmas and will send lots of diapers or something similar once baby arrives. DH and I will visit once the baby comes, which is a $1500+ trip... Do I need to send anything extra for the shower? Am I doing enough? Do I acknowledge that they are having a shower even though I haven't been invited? Don't know what to do here!!!! Any advice is appreciated.