Grump Alert! What to do??

Re: Grump Alert! What to do??

• kbrands7 member

  November 2015

  Last week/earlier this week I was very irritable. That said, I also think that the things you've listed would make anyone snappy. Your husband knows that everyone looks fatter before they look pregnant, right? The uterus pushes everything up before it pushes out, so the waistline gets bigger...there's definitely no need to tell your pregnant wife she looks fat. And the texting is just plain baby-crazy.
  
  Everything aside though, there are a few things that help me that may work for you. Taking a deep breath and focusing on a count (5 sec inhale, 5 sec exhale for instance) helps. Smiling-- it tricks your brain into feeling a bit happier. Focusing for a second on something I like about whoever is pissing me off. For especially frustrating moments, there is a visualization exercise that I got from the Hypobirthing book that I've used for a few years now. It sounds weird, but if you can picture it, it helps. You basically visualize the colors of the rainbow washing over you, head to toe, one at a time taking stress and pain with it. I picture the colors sort of like colorful air like the colorful gaseous poofs in The Wizard of Oz. Try to relax the muscles in the part of the body where to color is too-- like, if I have green around my shoulders at the moment, I relax my shoulders. I usually don't have to go through more than a few colors before I feel a lot calmer which usually takes about 30 seconds--but it can tale as long or as short as you need it to take. And of course, there's always just telling it like it is/setting boundaries when someone is really inappropriate or hurtful.
  
  Preventatively, I pretty sure I'm more sane when I have gotten adequate sleep.
  
  Good luck! You're definitely not the only one who feels like they're going to lose their sh*t more often than usual; I think it's pretty normal at this stage.

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• camillaandcarson member

  November 2015 edited November 2015

  Seriously? I can't believe he said any of those things. He needs some help knowing what things to say.
  Tell your husband he has a handful of phrases that are acceptable to use during this time in your lives.
  - you look great
  - is there anything I can get you?
  - you look wonderful today
  - can I help you in any way?
  - you look beautiful
  - is there any special food I can get you?
  - you are amazing
  - would you like something to drink?
  - I love you
  

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• dshannah member

  November 2015

  Every time I feel stressed/overwhelmed/angry I try to pause and think of something I'm thankful for.  It's been really helpful, and has saved my sanity these last few weeks especially.

  
  

  On the talking to baby thing:  My SIL does the same thing!!! But I've got it figured out.  Next time she tries I'm going to say, "When you talk directly to baby, you make me feel like an incubator.  Please don't?"  As politely as possible, since I don't actually want to burn that bridge. But I think it highlights at least in part why it is so infuriating.

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• Malakia024 member

  November 2015

  When I have been grumpy this pregnancy, I sit down and read the news. With a reminder of all of the terrible things happening in the world right now, it makes my issues seem so small and ridiculous. It has helped me keep things in perspective.

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• BuzzBee614 member

  November 2015

  When I'm grumpy during this pregnancy I'm just a bitch. It's incredibly cathartic.
  
  If DH questions what I eat, I tell him to mind his own damn business. If someone tells me how to parent DD, I tell them I got it. It's been working great for me!

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• LovePup17 member

  November 2015

  I snapped at my DH last night because he never puts DD to bed and she gives me a hard time every night. Snapping actually worked, he got the point and is taking over bed time a few nights a week. Have you told him how fd up it is that he's commenting on your weight? Or that it's extremely difficult to watch every aspect of your life to care for your growing child inside you, but that you're doing it and a little indulgence is FINE! They seriously have no idea sometimes.

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• yogahh member

  November 2015

  My mood has been pretty good... Until today of course. Off to the in laws and I feel like I want to cry and throw things at the same time.

  

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• LemmyRN member

  November 2015

  I definitely had one of those days this week. Doing little woman maintenance things I've put off like doing my hair, nails, or plucking help me feel normal and less like a hairy she-beast that wants to decapitate everyone. Plus it's a bit of alone time.
  
  It is frustrating when we are going through this pregnancy and our husbands choose to be ignorant of the process. Riding your ass over Popsicles! Seriously! I'm assuming he's a bit hardheaded so it might help make your life easier if you have him go with you to your next appointment and have your doctor have a "come to Jesus" talk with him. Idk if he assumed you would only gain 7lbs for a 7lb baby, but it doesn't work like that.

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• babyg&me member

  November 2015

  Not to sound creepy but I've been thinking of you today & I was already planning on eating lots of good food for you since you don't get to have Thanksgiving.
  If I remember right I think you said before that your husband is older than you & that he has other kids. That right there should tell you he knows better in more ways than 1 than to act like this! I think I would make the most blan healthy things to eat for dinner when hubs is around & keep you a stash of what you want when he's at work! He wants you to eat right well here you go Bud, eat it with me!
  Maybe you're just having these feelings over frustration of not getting to have your Thanksgiving & missing family & after this weekend things will calm down for you. Of course your feelings of the ignorant things said to you does not apply here! As for the crazy baby text talk I think I'd pretend my phone was broke or internet down or however else you want to play it. I also get uncomfortable with things like that so I can't blame you there either.
  
  BTW I'll be eating for you at 6pm Oklahoma (central) time & trust me my G-Ma is a GREAT COOK, you won't be disappointed

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• Kurrant member

  November 2015

  Thanks for the understanding advice ladies. @babyg&me you are correct, DH is older than I am and already has 4 kids so he is aware of the process. However, his ex is a rail. This woman is tiny and extremely food conscious. Every photo I have seen of her is very very thin with *maybe* A-cup breasts. I don't say this to sound like a body shamer, skinny hater or anything else... every body shape is beautiful but it gives you an idea of all the pregnancies he has been through.

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