Lack of hubby enthusiasm?

Knottie44209107 · November 2015

i am almost 34 weeks along. I was sent to hospital yesterday for IV due to low amniotic fluid and given steroid injections to help baby's lungs develop in the event of an earlier delivery. When I arrived they told me they would admit me overnight so I called my husband to let him know I was sent to Labor and Delivery in hospital. He didn't come to the hospital and was relatively close by and is self employed. His subsequent response to not coming was that i was only getting an IV. Meanwhile they were monitoring baby status, making sure I wasn't contracting and examined me to make sure my water didn't break or have a fluid leak. They ended up not admitting me but hd me come back 24 hours for another fluid chech- which is low still and IV didn't help.

Due to all these appointments and then telling me to rest over weekend until fluid check in two days, I rescheduled our infant care class to next month and he really has no excuse- just says he doesn't want to go. Because he doesn't feel like it.

Is anyone else experiencing this?
He seems frustrated and disconnected. He helps with cooking and chores but otherwise seems disconnected. And has yet to buy anything for the baby except one large case of baby wipes. And he has the financial resources. We dated several years before marrying this year and always talked about wanting a baby. It just hurts because I've wanted this for so long and he's indifferent and borderline unsupportive at times. We got pregnant and found out right before the wedding. I think he has not accepted things.

Achae · November 2015

Do you ask him to come to the hospital? I mean it seems weird he wouldn't want to be by your side, but if you didn't vocalize your feelings you can't put that on him either. I'd sit down and tell him how you're feeling and progress from there.

cherith104 · November 2015

I know exactly how you feel. My hubby says he's excited but he doesn't show it much. He doesn't really rub my belly and feel her kick that often. It's surprising when he does. He hasn't bought anything for the baby but it's due to financial reasons. But he doesn't show that much support either. Especially from what has happened to us in the past. All I can do is tell you to be strong. I don't like to talk about how I feel so I don't tell my hubby how I feel plus he's hardheaded. Lol. But maybe you can talk to and get through to your hubby.
Stay strong and I wish the best for you. (:

Mousie93 · November 2015

I don't want to generalise, but many people (often men in particular) deal with difficult or stressful situations by burting their head in the sand. Try voicing your feelings to him and reassure each other. I bet as soon as he holds his baby in his arms he will transform.

pettycrocker · November 2015

I would be pissed if my H did this. Seriously pissed.

celainev · November 2015

I'm not saying his behaviour is justified, but I've read a ton of studies that say most fathers don't feel the "realness" of having a baby until the baby is born. I would have a talk with him anyways about his feelings, but don't try to force excitement on him. It just might not seem real to him yet.

And also, I know my husband freaks out whenever I show any sign of pain. But some men may feel the opposite in not understanding how pregnancy works! He just might of actually thought it wasn't a big deal. Did you ask him to come? Did you tell him you were scared? If not, then this might be the case. But if you did, you need to have a long discussion Him.

xxarlannaxx · November 2015

Let's face it, men can be total airheads at times. It seems to me that 95% of men really do not want to deal with anything they don't absolutely have to And even then it's put off until the last possible minute. Sometimes it's really hard for them to feel as connected during the pregnancy so therefore they seem distant or unexcited but really they could be very excited but they don't know how to express it. Men are not the best at conversations and sharing their feelings Etc because they're afraid they're going to say the wrong thing or what they say comes out misinterpreted etc. They just want to give us our space so that we don't end up biting their heads off because they feel like we are unstable emotionally during pregnancy... The list goes on. I have heard every excuse or fact or whatever you choose to call it. Thankfully, I have a very supportive husband who rubs my tummy and talks to our son and gets involved with all the baby stuff. He helps clean and spends time with our older two so I can relax (for the past couple of weeks my pregnancy actually has become extremely hard and stressful on my body) The only thing he hasn't been involved in is most of the doctors visits because he has to work, which again he has taken on every possible side job he can fit because he wants to save money and be better prepared financially. But men can't read our minds, they basically need step-by-step instructions on what you need from them. Try and stay patient with him, maybe have a nice serious talk together about how you're feeling and what you need from him in order to feel more confident.

Anaelsea · November 2015

Something happens to them when they hold baby for the first time, its like a light switch goes ON

veravera2015 · November 2015

I would give a chance to come around. Talk to him about the way you feel!

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