I lost my baby at almost 6 weeks, 2.5 weeks ago. I would have been 8.5 weeks right now and on my way to hear my baby's heartbeat for the first time. It's my birthday today and I was looking forward to this appointment as the best birthday present ever. I thought the timing was so perfect.
Now here I am, on a day that feels as grim as any other day of the past three weeks, feeling empty, physically and emotionally. Feeling like there's nothing I can do to feel happy because nothing can bring my baby back. Nothing would feel as wonderful as walking out of the appointment with a picture in my hand and the memory of hearing my baby's strong heart fluttering and looking forward to having a tiny bump by Christmas.
And I can't just say, go out for drinks, have fun and enjoy yourself, because I don't want to be able to drink... I don't want to be able to do anything that I couldn't do with my baby.
Anyone else going through milestones soon (or recently)? Ideas to cope?