1st Trimester
picare88
member
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Should be happy but feel a little sad
picare88
member
Hi all...I know this has been posted before but wanted to start a new discussion...
I am 7 week with twins....I have been through a lot TTC, went through 3 IUIs and IVF. Finally pregnant! I thought I should be extactic and happy ALL the time since I finally got what I want. I am happy, but feel overwhelmed, nervous, and sad. I am mostly sad bc I feel weird that Im not over the moon.
I suffer from depression/anxiety especially this time of the year. As soon as Daylight savings happens I get thrown off. I was on antidepressants but went off when I went through IVF...Ive been clean off for a whole month, but feel as it I may need to go back on....I am going to wait 3 more weeks until I see my OB to have a convo about how we can proceed. We did chat once about we can work together to find a med that would help. I am trying to do everything I can to not get into my blues, but its a double wammy for me this time around.
I feel as if I don't want to talk about my pregnancy because it stresses me out with the responsibilities and changes I will have to go thru in 7 months. Is there anything wrong with taking it a day at a time and not wanting to talk about being pregnant currently?
Please help and make me feel like my state of mind is ok!
I am 7 week with twins....I have been through a lot TTC, went through 3 IUIs and IVF. Finally pregnant! I thought I should be extactic and happy ALL the time since I finally got what I want. I am happy, but feel overwhelmed, nervous, and sad. I am mostly sad bc I feel weird that Im not over the moon.
I suffer from depression/anxiety especially this time of the year. As soon as Daylight savings happens I get thrown off. I was on antidepressants but went off when I went through IVF...Ive been clean off for a whole month, but feel as it I may need to go back on....I am going to wait 3 more weeks until I see my OB to have a convo about how we can proceed. We did chat once about we can work together to find a med that would help. I am trying to do everything I can to not get into my blues, but its a double wammy for me this time around.
I feel as if I don't want to talk about my pregnancy because it stresses me out with the responsibilities and changes I will have to go thru in 7 months. Is there anything wrong with taking it a day at a time and not wanting to talk about being pregnant currently?
Please help and make me feel like my state of mind is ok!
Re: Should be happy but feel a little sad
As for being on antidepressants, a well informed psych would be your best bet. Mine just came back from a conference specifically on the topic: psych meds for preg patients. That or a high risk OBGYN will be your most informed doctor. My first regular OBGYN appt was on Friday, and he made me explain all my specialized problems to him, which he knew nothing about and/or his info is outdated. Made me anxious again. People always say, speak with your doctor. It needs to be a well informed doctor, which I hope you can get your hands on. I'm staying on my med, as the benefits outweigh any risks.
Trust your gut in getting the help you may need. Good luck and take care of yourself.
Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.
DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!
Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!
Also, it is a lie that ALL women fall "instantly completely in love" with their newborn. Then when they don't, they have tons of guilt.
You are a human, not a fake doll, you are allowed to feel what ever you are feeling.
We also struggled and finally had a viable pregnancy through ivf after suffering losses. It took me a longer time than I expected to accept that this was finally it and that we could be happy. We would go through spurts of happiness and anxiety. After 12 weeks, we celebrated and started to talk more openly about being pregnant, but then we'd get sucked back into thinking it was too good to be true. Then we'd have another u/s and we'd be ecstatic again.
Once we hit 24 weeks, where they were considered viable, we finally just became happy and ready to celebrate 90% of the time. At 34 weeks, I still have moments of doubt and anxiety but they quickly vanish.
It's very difficult to come to the realization that this is real and that it finally has happened. Please check out the Pregnant After IF board and checkin on the first trimester threads. You'll find most of those women are in the exact mindset as you.
Married: October 23, 2010
DS: 8/7/2013
#2 EDD: 6/29/2016, C Section: 6/22/2016
Thanks for your comments. I think it is really helpful for many of us ladies to hear about the evolution of thought of women who are much farther along.
Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.
DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!
Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!
We had a very supportive family who knew about our struggles and were great throughout it all. After announced at 12 weeks, we'd have people who weren't aware of our problems asking "why aren't you more excited?" "What have you bought?" "What's your nursery plan?" "What are you thinking for names?"
That's hard on a woman. It can make you feel like you're already failing as a mother. Every woman's excitement is based on different things and factors and it's important to know there is no time line for when you need to be 100% fully excited and confident in your pregnancy.
I had a quite dramatic anxiety episode at the end of my first/start of my second trimester that spanned a month or so. And I didn't even recognize it at the time, just simply becoming very paranoid and defensive with everybody. So I think the fact that you are so in tune with your feelings and speak very honestly and clearly about them is a great sign.
Talk to your OBGYN about this. Many are trained to help manage depression, anxiety and even more severe reactions during pregnancy.