Leaving the baby in the car

beanie1977 · November 2015

I'm sure this is the type of topic that will get me flamed, but I have a couple of legitimate questions.

1. When you have groceries to bring into the house for example, do you bring your baby in to the house first and then go get your groceries, or do you bring in your groceries and leave the baby in the car?

2. If I have a super quick errand to run, such as dropping a letter in a post box, the kind in front of the grocery store, and I can park in the spot directly in front of it, is it terrible to leave the baby in the car or would you bring the baby out? This would literally take 12 seconds to jump out of the car and drop the letter in the box. I did this today and I didn't even take my purse out of the car. I'm feeling sort of guilty and I'm thinking this might be illegal.

Bigboobsmcgee · November 2015

It actually might be illegal but I do it too. I feel that you just have to use your best judgment in situations like this. I never leave them in the car if I can't see the car or I'm out of the car for longer than about 2 minutes. It also depends on the neighborhood I'm in. Lots of factors play into my decision on this.

The grocery thing depends as well. I usually bring both kids in the house and DH unloads groceries. After work though I take my older son in the house, set all our stuff down and then come back for the baby. I trust my neighborhood though so I'm comfortable doing this. I've even left both kids in the car, in the driveway asleep while I went into the house. The alarm was on but again, I felt comfortable leaving them.

rizzlig · November 2015

Totally just my opinion here! With the world we live in today I would bring the baby in the inside and put somewhere safe before going to get groceries. It's a scary world we live in. I am dealing with this stuff now and trying to figure out what to do. Today I was going to take a bag of trash out to the dumpster (I live on a third floor apartment). However, I decided against it because I could not carry the baby and the trash all the way to the dumpster. I felt like leaving the baby inside was too long for how far the away the dumpster is.
However, this is my first baby and I might be paranoid. I the baby was sleeping I might have felt differently about it. I guess we are all just doing the best we can.

JaqiDec04 · November 2015

1) my driveway is super private, so I leave DS in the car while I unbuckle DD (she's 4) and open the door to the house. Then I unload DS, and then the groceries.

2) I would not get the kids out of the car for this. Nor do I unload the kids from the car to get gas. I only go to pay at the pump places, and I like the doors when I get out. I stopped to get a pizza with both kids yesterday. I got a spot right in front of the door, I left them both in the car while I walked in and paid. I was literally 15 feet away and could see them. I worried and stared at them the whole time, but carrying a newborn and a 4 yr old into little ceasers was not happening. Lol.

You just use your best judgement about your situation, and location.

Elizabeth043086 · November 2015

Well as far as groceries go, when I'm alone the baby is the LAST thing in, she has to be. I get my groceries in first, then the 4 and 2 year old, then the baby. I can't have them running around alone in the house with her. On a side note, dh and I do the big grocery trip together, so it's seldom I actually have groceries to carry in alone thank God.

delujm0 · November 2015

Unpopular opinion maybe...but when LO falls asleep in the car and we get home, we pull into the garage, crack a window, unload whatever we have to unload, and then if she's still asleep we leave her in there and check on her every 3-5 minutes. Only when the outdoor temp is reasonable and she's in our own garage of course. But she won't stay asleep when we move her so if she really needs the nap we won't touch her.

We actually left her asleep in the car for an hour at a tailgate once...ha. we were right there obviously, we could see her the whole time and the windows were down, but we were still like "someone is going to call CPS on us."

To run 5 feet to a mailbox, I'd totally leave her in there with the car running. If it takes so little time that you leave the car running, LO can stay there.

tracij12 · November 2015

For me it totally depends on if the baby is awake or asleep. If she is asleep or if she is awake and happy, she's the last thing out of the car. If she's fussy, I will get her out first.

For the mailbox, I would totally leave baby in the car.

It is unfortunate to me that this has to be such a hot issue. As previous posters have said, common sense/good judgement should be used to determine when it is appropriate. The fact that so many parents either have terrible judgement or just plain forget they have a kid in the car that laws had to be created about this issue makes me sad!

dalzien · November 2015

I can say I've left our LO in the car while I've unloaded groceries, or returned items into the library drop slot, etc. Sometimes it;s just easier than the constant in and out than can be done when you are running errands. I have a 2.5 year old toddler as well, so sometimes it really is just easier. Saying that however, they are NEVER out of my sight, and I always lock the doors. Doesn't matter if I'm 10ft away... I always lock them. If our toddler falls asleep in the car she is the last thing I bring in. I don't believe people have a problem with leaving kids in cars while unloading/dropping things off, as they get it... it can be hard and frustrating and for the most part not worth the fuss. It's the parents that leave children in a hot/freezing car for hours with a cracked window while they shop in the mall, go out for coffee, etc.

xJKxOR · November 2015

I live in a rural area (25mins from town and no neighbours within a mile radius). If I have groceries to bring in and LO is sleeping or content I leave him in the vehicle. If he's unhappy I bring him in first and put him in the swing while I unload groceries.

I've left him in the vehicle twice in town. He was fast asleep, I locked the doors, parked in front of the window, and was only inside for max 5mins both times.

groovylocks · November 2015

rizzlig said:

Totally just my opinion here! With the world we live in today I would bring the baby in the inside and put somewhere safe before going to get groceries. It's a scary world we live in.

I actually disagree with this. The world is much safer now than it ever was in a lot of ways. Statistics seem to show this to be true. The reason it SEEMS scarier is because we have the ability to hear everything the second it happens. And we TALK more. So whereas things were "kept within the family" 40 years ago, these same issues are discussed aggressively and openly on facebook, gofundme, jezebel, huffpo etc..

I think if you feel safe in your neighbourhood, your child is probably safe in the car for a few minutes. But i'm just on the edge of delivering my first. I came here to scare myself

So take what i say with a grain of salt.

Bigboobsmcgee · November 2015

delujm0 said:

Unpopular opinion maybe...but when LO falls asleep in the car and we get home, we pull into the garage, crack a window, unload whatever we have to unload, and then if she's still asleep we leave her in there and check on her every 3-5 minutes. Only when the outdoor temp is reasonable and she's in our own garage of course. But she won't stay asleep when we move her so if she really needs the nap we won't touch her. We actually left her asleep in the car for an hour at a tailgate once...ha. we were right there obviously, we could see her the whole time and the windows were down, but we were still like "someone is going to call CPS on us." To run 5 feet to a mailbox, I'd totally leave her in there with the car running. If it takes so little time that you leave the car running, LO can stay there.

Car naps happen at my house too. I'm not about to wake the kids up to get them out of the car!

amoulder423 · November 2015

I'm not sure what state you're in, but in Texas it's illegal to leave a child under the age of seven in a car by him/her self. If I saw someone doing that, I would be legally obligated under my social work license to call the police AND make a CPS report. Now, if the parent was standing right next to the car that's a different story. However, just keep in mind the legal ramifications regardless of how safe the environment is.
ETA: if you are running to pop a letter in the mailbox and choose to leave the baby in the car, please don't also leave your keys. There have been more instances than I can count of accidental kidnappings happening this way when the criminal thought they were stealing an empty car!

Bigboobsmcgee · November 2015

amoulder423 said:

I'm not sure what state you're in, but in Texas it's illegal to leave a child under the age of seven in a car by him/her self. If I saw someone doing that, I would be legally obligated under my social work license to call the police AND make a CPS report. Now, if the parent was standing right next to the car that's a different story. However, just keep in mind the legal ramifications regardless of how safe the environment is. ETA: if you are running to pop a letter in the mailbox and choose to leave the baby in the car, please don't also leave your keys. There have been more instances than I can count of accidental kidnappings happening this way when the criminal thought they were stealing an empty car!

Good advice.

Bickey11 · November 2015

I think what u are describing is fine. I live in a quiet neighborhood with an attached garage, groceries first, then baby. As soon as I bring the seat in he's screeching to get out, is never get my groceries out. As for tagging your kid out when u r parked right in front if a mailbox? Take the keys with u, lock the doors. It would take u longer to get the ballot baby out than to drop your mail in the slot. Just don't do it in the middle of the ghetto at 3a.m. in a lot with no lights.

Bickey11 · November 2015

I think what u are describing is fine. I live in a quiet neighborhood with an attached garage, groceries first, then baby. As soon as I bring the seat in he's screeching to get out, I'd never get my groceries out. As for taking your kid out when u r parked right in front if a mailbox? Take the keys with u, lock the doors. It would take u longer to get the baby out than to drop your mail in the slot. Just don't do it in the middle of the ghetto at 3a.m. in a lot with no lights.

rue:D · November 2015

I might leave baby in the car to drop a letter in the mailbox as long as I could see her, but I would NOT leave the car running and I would lock it up. Never know if the car could slip out of gear or if someone could try to steal it if you leave it running. (To be fair though, I never left it running even before I had a baby.)

As far as groceries, it depends. I park in my garage (if I had to park in the driveway I would always bring baby in first). If I did the trip alone and DH isn't home, I'll leave her in the car ONLY if she's asleep or isn't fussing and the temperature is comfortable. Too hot or too cold, and she goes inside first. And then I usually only bring in the stuff that goes into the fridge/freezer, and I'll get everything else later when I have DH around to help.

rue:D · November 2015

groovylocks said:

rizzlig said:

Totally just my opinion here! With the world we live in today I would bring the baby in the inside and put somewhere safe before going to get groceries. It's a scary world we live in.

I actually disagree with this. The world is much safer now than it ever was in a lot of ways. Statistics seem to show this to be true. The reason it SEEMS scarier is because we have the ability to hear everything the second it happens. And we TALK more. So whereas things were "kept within the family" 40 years ago, these same issues are discussed aggressively and openly on facebook, gofundme, jezebel, huffpo etc..

I think if you feel safe in your neighbourhood, your child is probably safe in the car for a few minutes. But i'm just on the edge of delivering my first. I came here to scare myself

So take what i say with a grain of salt.

--quote fail

I definitely agree that the world seems scarier because we have so many more ways to find out about all the crazy things that happen. That said, I still wouldn't leave my kid in the car in the driveway - even if you feel safe, bad things happen in good neighborhoods too. I'd only leave baby in the car if the car is in my garage with the garage door closed.

Usedtohave3 · November 2015

Let me start be saying that we lost our 6 year old daughter to heat stroke. She obtained access to the car on her own. She got into the car by herself looking for a craft.

That was the hardest day of our lives. Five years later my two sons, my husband & I continue to struggle. At one time or another we have all been in counseling or on antidepressants. Three of us still are. We will never get over it. Life goes on because it HAS to. But the struggles, emotions, guilt, blame, "what if" questions, & the basic WHY, will haunt us forever. I consider myself in a club of parents that has lost a child. I don't want to be a member, no one wants to be a member & we definitely do not want additional members!!! I cannot begin to put our emotions into words. They would fall so so very short of what it is actually like

I ask you why take the risk of being in my situation? Nothing is worth it!! I'd take every second of inconvenience & dealing with a crying baby / child in a second over my struggles!!!!

Locks are not 100% secure, nothing is. What if your car is stolen while your child is in the car? The unimaginable could happen. What if you were hurt while not in the car? What if you slipped & hit your head & were unconscious. What if no one knows a child is in the car? What if you are mugged? Kidnapped??

On heat stroke, what if you forgot your child is in the car & remains there an extended period of time. I know that sounds impossible but it's proven scientifically!! How many times have you walked out of a room & forgot why you went into another one? It's the same scientific theory backed by proven facts. I could go on & on of reasons not to. I could continue the "what ifs" that I question daily. Why did we leave our car unlocked?? Etc...

You do not want to be in my shoes. You do not want to watch your family sruggle with this. You do not want to watch their nightmares, answer their questions as to why, take them to counseling & psychiatrists weekly for a completely preventable scenario. You don't want to watch your husband question if he was a good father, blame himself, wrestle with the "what ifs". It's not worth it. You don't want to sit at your child's graduation in tears because another one should still be in school. You don't want to see the Facebook posts of friend's child sweet sixteen parties, proms, weddings, & grandchildren . It's not worth it!!

Please please it is not worth the risk!!! I promise!!!

Caiti+Baby · November 2015

Still pregnant with my first, but my aunt said something i thought was pertinent. She said "better a basket of broken eggs than a broken baby". Meaning secure the baby before the groceries. I interpret that to each what they feel as securing the baby to what they believe is right and safe. My husband and i discussed it and for us, it is getting the baby inside in it's crib/playpen/carseat before worrying about groceries. However i don't know if that would change slightly with a second or third baby (depending on order of children inside, and depending on where we live and what parking is like).

nano1 · November 2015

I just want to say that my "best judgement" is based on the knowledge and experiences that I've had in my life, and your story @Usedtohave3 has spoken so loudly to me. I cannot imagine the heartbreak you must feel every day, and I want you to know that I appreciate your strength in being able to share your story. My heart goes out you and your family.

allstagg · November 2015

i feel that it depends on your situation. if you have gone grocery shopping and you parked your car in your garage, there is nothing wrong with bringing in the groceries quickly and then bringing in the carrier. but if it is very hot in your garage or very cold in your garage, you may want to bring the baby in first and then grab the groceries. where we live, it is very cold this time of the year so i bring the baby in first when i get home and i load the baby last when we leave the house. but i also park in our garage that is attached to our home and we live in a safe neighborhood.

as for the mailbox trip, i have done this too. it is not realistic to take the baby out of the car for small things like this. it is no different than filling your car with gas. if you were leaving the baby in the car and out of sight, that is a different story. as long as it isnt hot out and it is a quick short walk to the post box, it isn't a problem. but of course, this is my opinion.

Bigboobsmcgee · November 2015

Usedtohave3 said:

Let me start be saying that we lost our 6 year old daughter to heat stroke. She obtained access to the car on her own. She got into the car by herself looking for a craft.

That was the hardest day of our lives. Five years later my two sons, my husband & I continue to struggle. At one time or another we have all been in counseling or on antidepressants. Three of us still are. We will never get over it. Life goes on because it HAS to. But the struggles, emotions, guilt, blame, "what if" questions, & the basic WHY, will haunt us forever. I consider myself in a club of parents that has lost a child. I don't want to be a member, no one wants to be a member & we definitely do not want additional members!!! I cannot begin to put our emotions into words. They would fall so so very short of what it is actually like

I ask you why take the risk of being in my situation? Nothing is worth it!! I'd take every second of inconvenience & dealing with a crying baby / child in a second over my struggles!!!!

Locks are not 100% secure, nothing is. What if your car is stolen while your child is in the car? The unimaginable could happen. What if you were hurt while not in the car? What if you slipped & hit your head & were unconscious. What if no one knows a child is in the car? What if you are mugged? Kidnapped??

On heat stroke, what if you forgot your child is in the car & remains there an extended period of time. I know that sounds impossible but it's proven scientifically!! How many times have you walked out of a room & forgot why you went into another one? It's the same scientific theory backed by proven facts. I could go on & on of reasons not to. I could continue the "what ifs" that I question daily. Why did we leave our car unlocked?? Etc...

You do not want to be in my shoes. You do not want to watch your family sruggle with this. You do not want to watch their nightmares, answer their questions as to why, take them to counseling & psychiatrists weekly for a completely preventable scenario. You don't want to watch your husband question if he was a good father, blame himself, wrestle with the "what ifs". It's not worth it. You don't want to sit at your child's graduation in tears because another one should still be in school. You don't want to see the Facebook posts of friend's child sweet sixteen parties, proms, weddings, & grandchildren . It's not worth it!!

Please please it is not worth the risk!!! I promise!!!

I'm sorry for your loss.

NurseRieger · December 2015

I live in south FL and there's cases of babies dying in hot car a lot, and most of those cases baby or small child was in car less than an hour before someone realized it. I ALWAYS bring baby inside house 1st and put him in pack n play then grab groceries. I would never chance getting distracted for even a few minutes. As far as out in public leaving a car running that's just inviting someone to jump in the car and take off not realizing there's a baby in the back. That is real life scenarios that have happened. A few years ago a woman down here was seriously injured when someone jumped in to steal her car that was left running. She held on to the door handle and was dragged through a parking lot and out on the main road until she couldn't hold on, the theif eventually figured it out and abandoned the car and baby and took off but mom was injured pretty bad.

Bigboobsmcgee · December 2015

NurseRieger said:

I live in south FL and there's cases of babies dying in hot car a lot, and most of those cases baby or small child was in car less than an hour before someone realized it. I ALWAYS bring baby inside house 1st and put him in pack n play then grab groceries. I would never chance getting distracted for even a few minutes. As far as out in public leaving a car running that's just inviting someone to jump in the car and take off not realizing there's a baby in the back. That is real life scenarios that have happened. A few years ago a woman down here was seriously injured when someone jumped in to steal her car that was left running. She held on to the door handle and was dragged through a parking lot and out on the main road until she couldn't hold on, the theif eventually figured it out and abandoned the car and baby and took off but mom was injured pretty bad.

There are a lot of risks so you have to do what you feel is best, using your best judgment.

It's a hell of a lot more difficult with 2 kids when you just need to grab the mail or do something 10 feet away from the car.

ChelKlav · December 2015

Baby=priority #1. No matter what. Everything else can wait. Mail? You can pull up to drop boxes so you dont have toget out. Retrieving mail? Wait until hubby is home then grab it. Groceries? Make a list and go once a week while Grandma babysits at your house so you dont have to worry if your groceries should come in first. Car naps?! In the garage?! I would never. Basically my baby goes where I go. If I leave the car so does he!

mthoomom · December 2015

Not to freak you out, but my sister's car caught on fire about 5 minutes after she parked it. My kids carseats were in it- luckily, my kids weren't. After that incident I've never left small children in a car alone.

christina4436 · December 2015

I always bring baby in house first then go get groceries. I tend to lock side door and go through fenced back area to be safer. If I have to put a cart back in a spot 10 feet away I'll put her in car and lock it, but if I have to bring it back to front of store she will come with me. Same with mail box, I would pull up or walk around car but if up to the building see bring her with. Picking up food to go def bring her in. Inconvenience is worth the safety. I'll bring out trash at home since 10 feet from door if she's in swing but not recycling since that's on other side of garage.

solitude1984 · December 2015

amoulder423 said:

ETA: if you are running to pop a letter in the mailbox and choose to leave the baby in the car, please don't also leave your keys. There have been more instances than I can count of accidental kidnappings happening this way when the criminal thought they were stealing an empty car!

This just happened in my city!

z1035.com/toronto-car-stollen-last-night-with-2-kids-inside/

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