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Insensitive?

jasmuinjasmuin member
in Pregnant after a Loss
I bought a decorative set of blocks that spell out the word "Family". I was planning on using it for a Christmas gift for my sister in law but just found out yesterday that she had a miscarriage. It was her first pregnancy after trying for 6 years.
Would you think this gift was insensitive right after a miscarriage? (Especially coming from someone who is pregnant) I can't decide how I would have felt right after my miscarriage and wanted some opinions.
I didn't know she was pregnant when I bought it and was just thinking how cute it would look in the new house they just bought. I'm not sure if that makes a difference.
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Re: Insensitive?

  • PlainJane8350PlainJane8350 member
    Ah.. I wouldn't call it insensitive, but it may not be the right gift now. The fact that you're posting about it shows that you are being very sensitive and thoughtful, though. You could always talk to your brother about it and have him gauge, but I'd probably hold onto it for now unless he wanted to give it to her to symbolize that they won't give up.. The holidays will definitely be hard for her, so let her know that you're thinking of her.
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  • nekedfeetnekedfeet member
    I think your first instinct is the correct one... maybe not the right gift for right now.  She is likely to be super sensitive right now, and there's no harm in being extra cautious. 
    1st Pregnancy: EDD 12/31/15; Diagnosed Turner's with terminal cystic hygroma 13wks; induced at 14wks, +3 d+c's.
    2nd Pregnancy: BFP 10/8/15; EDD 6/21/16
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  • rkricheyrkrichey member
    I agree with pp's. I think with the extra emotions she's feeling right now it might be best to be better safe than sorry. It's so nice that you're looking out for her like this.
    BabyFetus Ticker
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  • peregrinefalconxperegrinefalconx member
    I agree on the waiting. I would imagine that she feels that her family is incomplete, which would be the opposite message you are trying to send. So yes, put it aside for another time. Maybe a gift certificate for a massage or something may be in order.
    *****Losses Mentioned*****BFP MENTIONED*****ALL WELCOME******ALL ABOARD!!

    Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
    Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
    Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.

    DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!

    Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!




    BabyGaga
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  • jasmuinjasmuin member
    Thanks for confirming what I was thinking!! I'll find her something else.
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  • carrieandrcarrieandr member
    I agree with the pp's. Especially since she's been trying for 6 years. My heart hurts just thinking about it.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
    BFP 2/16/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks      •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
    BFP 9/24/18  •      CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













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