Ultrasound WARNING

june2016baby · November 2015

So frustrated at being told for the SECOND time what gender I’m expecting, AFTER telling an ultrasound tech NOT to tell me!

Here are my stories:

1- At my daughter’s 20-week ultrasound, I asked the tech not to tell me the gender, but to write it down for me on a piece of paper I brought. My husband couldn’t be there with me, so I wanted to find out the gender together that evening. She agreed. She then asked about my kids. I said that I had 2 boys. She replied several times that it was time for a girl now, and won’t I be happy if this is a girl? I don’t think I even said anything back at her comments. When the ultrasound was over, she handed me the folded paper and said, “You’re going to be really pleased when you read this tonight!” I knew right then that it was a girl, and was so disappointed that she’d spoiled it for me.

2- Just today I went in (different office) for a Harmony blood test and my 12 week ultrasound. The ultrasound tech asked me a few minutes into the procedure, whether I wanted to know the sex. At this point, I had no idea she could tell already, and thought she was referring to the blood test. I said that no, I was waiting until the 20 week ultrasound. (What she didn’t know, was that my next ultrasound would be the first one, ever, that my husband was going to be able to attend, and that I wanted to find out with him.) She asked me what gender I preferred, and I said that another boy would fit well into our family. I thought this was just small talk, and nothing more. Then, at the end of the ultrasound, she winked at me and said, “You’re going to be excited to find out the sex at the next ultrasound,” and winked again. (She was obviously telling me to expect to find out I was having a boy.) I was stunned and said, “What? But you can’t even tell yet.” To which she said, “Oh, I definitely saw a penis sticking up there.” She then laughed at herself and said she’s 95% sure it’s a boy.

So, I couldn’t believe it happened again! I don’t blame myself. It was the techs’ fault. However, I think other moms might benefit from these two rules.

1- Don’t just simply state that you don’t want to know the gender. Instead, say it several times and ask for no hints!

2- Don’t reveal a preference, (if you have one,) as the tech might decide that if she discovers you are having the gender that you prefer, that you want to know, despite JUST saying you didn’t.

I’m pretty frustrated right now! If only I would have known that the tech was going to look at gender, I would have made myself repeatedly clear, instead of just saying it once.

bio-oesch · November 2015

Well that really sucks!

I wouldn't get too upset over the 12wk u/s tech wanna be reveal, she can't know for certain that early. They're not even suppose to give out guesses that early,because they are often wrong.

umhassoon · November 2015

Don't worry it could go either way...I was told girl at 13weeks but then he turned out being a Boy! Vice versa happened to a freind of mine

MynaBird · November 2015

That's seriously infuriating. Although yeah, she could be completely wrong. Still, she obviously didn't think she was, so that doesn't excuse her.

The ultrasound tech at our a/s last time was really respectful of us not wanting to know the sex. Sounds like you have dealt with some seriously presumptuous techs. How unprofessional.

HBamama2B · November 2015

I am so sorry! That's terrible. I would email the OB and say that just FYI, it's really important that they not indicate if the mother asks for them not to. That way maybe the tech will get a wake up call and not so that to other moms aren't treated so unprofessionally. That's just so infuriating. I agree with pp though, maybe she was talking out her a** and doesn't have a clue. 12 wks is really really early for a determinate... ? I hope your 20wk scan with DH is magic either way and you guys have an amazing date watching your LO.

Atlast111 · November 2015

Totally unprofessional, sounds like the ultrasound tech was relishing her moment of "being in the know". The human gossip gene took over! I can see why you would be so annoyed. In the UK they don't allow you to know the sex until 20 weeks (unless you go private) this is to stop people from getting rid of babies that are the "wrong" sex. Frustrating as although we could know, the choice is taken away! They might be concerned about getting it wrong here so that may be an additional reason.

VikingGirl12 · November 2015

That is really frustrating. And unprofessional. Since it was so early, there's a very big chance that she was incorrect with her guess this time.
At least you can be relieved that no matter what sex it is, it's healthy so far!

CourtJack · November 2015

What's a jerk! I'm so sorry she ruined it for you. Like others have said - there's a good chance she really couldn't tell. 12 weeks is so early! But still - even if she was wrong- she was unprofessional and disrespectful of your wishes. Sorry!!

samsonator · November 2015

Wow thanks for the heads up. That was so rude, for both of them! I think people just get annoyed if you don't want to know right away. I've already told people I'm team green and they try to talk me out of it.

You never know - she could be wrong this early! There is still that little element of surprise !

NicknShan · November 2015

I am so sorry. Was it the same tech? Sounds like it... And I hope there aren't that many in the world.

Does your husband know you know with a 95% chance?

BPaisley · November 2015

I have a friend who had a similar situation when she went to the ER. She had both her other children be a surprise and was planning the same for this one. The tech asked her what she thought it was, so she told her what her guess was, and then the tech told her she was right. Right after she told her they hadn't decided if they would find out the sex or not. Man, that would really make me mad!!

crdo · November 2015

Wow, how extremely unprofessional. I'm sorry that happened to you. I agree that although the tech this go-around called herself "95% sure", it's still a little early for the sex to be visibly determined. So frustrating!

mkemommy · November 2015

That would really tick me off...I'm sorry it happened to you twice.

HeartLikeMine3 · November 2015

Really those techs need to learn to keep their not so subtle hints to themselves!! I'm so mad for you

cmillar36 · November 2015

Thanks for this. We absolutely don't want to know this timr.

augbride87 · November 2015

OH thanks for the warning!! That is so frustrating that they didn't listen to your wishes. I found out with DD at the ultrasound, Abut DH is really big on gender reveal parties so I am hoping our tech doesn't ruin it for us.

MsBeachNJ · November 2015

I'm so sorry to hear that - we are team green and I would be devastated if that happened to me!! Like PP said its really early she could be very wrong!

Funny story - when my Mom was pregnant with my youngest sibling, she told the Dr's all along that she didn't want to know. She was in her 40's and high risk, so she had TONS of testing/different doctors, and each time she was adamant with them that she did not want to know. Well her primary Dr. took to referring to the baby as "he" all the time, and when he asked my mom if she had any other children and my mom replied 3 girls, the Dr. replied with "well this is a lucky little fellow" etc... he did it so often that my Mom was truly angry at him for revealing the gender to her, but nonetheless, we planned for a boy, lots of blue newborn outfits, and the like. Well low and behold she goes into labor (at a teaching hospital so there were a lot of people in the room) and they say "Its a girl!" My Mom legitimately thought bc there were so many people in there that there were multiple labors going on because she was definitely having a boy... haha, nope! It was a girl, and when she told the Dr. how she thought he had revealed it he was so suprised and said that he refers to all babies as boys so that he never slips up! So my sister was in the hospital for a few days without a name, and she came home wearing a baseball outfit!

Moral of the story - even if you think they are hinting - that could just be the way they protect themselves from revealing anything!

Atlast111 · November 2015

MsBeachNJ said:
I'm so sorry to hear that - we are team green and I would be devastated if that happened to me!! Like PP said its really early she could be very wrong!

Funny story - when my Mom was pregnant with my youngest sibling, she told the Dr's all along that she didn't want to know. She was in her 40's and high risk, so she had TONS of testing/different doctors, and each time she was adamant with them that she did not want to know. Well her primary Dr. took to referring to the baby as "he" all the time, and when he asked my mom if she had any other children and my mom replied 3 girls, the Dr. replied with "well this is a lucky little fellow" etc... he did it so often that my Mom was truly angry at him for revealing the gender to her, but nonetheless, we planned for a boy, lots of blue newborn outfits, and the like. Well low and behold she goes into labor (at a teaching hospital so there were a lot of people in the room) and they say "Its a girl!" My Mom legitimately thought bc there were so many people in there that there were multiple labors going on because she was definitely having a boy... haha, nope! It was a girl, and when she told the Dr. how she thought he had revealed it he was so suprised and said that he refers to all babies as boys so that he never slips up! So my sister was in the hospital for a few days without a name, and she came home wearing a baseball outfit! Moral of the story - even if you think they are hinting - that could just be the way they protect themselves from revealing anything!

This is the best story! Naughty Doctor...This isn't anywhere near as interesting but when I was born they gave blue blankets to boys and pink to girls. They ran out of pink ones on the day I arrived so my mum spent 2 weeks in hospital being congratulated on her little boy!

augbride87 · November 2015

MsBeachNJ said:

I'm so sorry to hear that - we are team green and I would be devastated if that happened to me!! Like PP said its really early she could be very wrong!

Funny story - when my Mom was pregnant with my youngest sibling, she told the Dr's all along that she didn't want to know. She was in her 40's and high risk, so she had TONS of testing/different doctors, and each time she was adamant with them that she did not want to know. Well her primary Dr. took to referring to the baby as "he" all the time, and when he asked my mom if she had any other children and my mom replied 3 girls, the Dr. replied with "well this is a lucky little fellow" etc... he did it so often that my Mom was truly angry at him for revealing the gender to her, but nonetheless, we planned for a boy, lots of blue newborn outfits, and the like. Well low and behold she goes into labor (at a teaching hospital so there were a lot of people in the room) and they say "Its a girl!" My Mom legitimately thought bc there were so many people in there that there were multiple labors going on because she was definitely having a boy... haha, nope! It was a girl, and when she told the Dr. how she thought he had revealed it he was so suprised and said that he refers to all babies as boys so that he never slips up! So my sister was in the hospital for a few days without a name, and she came home wearing a baseball outfit! Moral of the story - even if you think they are hinting - that could just be the way they protect themselves from revealing anything!

That is TOO funny!! Smart Doctor

Knottie86418473 · November 2015

That's terrible.

I'd be pretty infuriated as you made yourself clear both times. And I'd definitely let the doctor and/or nurses know so they can stop ruining the surprise for other moms to be. Those US techs sound like a couple of unprofessional tools.

BLM10 · November 2015

The genitals are smaller than a grain of rice at 12-13 weeks. Even the best techs can't be certain at that stage.

goldie987 · November 2015

If she claims she saw a penis at 12 weeks, its BS. The penis isn't formed for at least another week or two, its only a bulge that is somewhere between the two sexes that either will grow or retreat in a week or two. She would have to be relying on nub theory to make her guess which is debatably accurate (not trying to start a battle over nub legitimacy...again), and only in the right well trained hands with a perfect angle.

owl214 · November 2015

With my first we were adamant that we didn't want to know - at our 20 week we kept reminding the us tech and she didn't say anything but at the very end she goes "well she's looking good in there!" My husband gave her a look and she tried to backtrack that she used "she" when the parents don't want to know...such BS!! Of course, we ended up with a girl but I was so irritated they spoiled the surprise!

june2016baby · November 2015

NicknShan said:
I am so sorry. Was it the same tech? Sounds like it... And I hope there aren't that many in the world.

Does your husband know you know with a 95% chance?

Different techs (completely different cities).

I did tell my husband, who pretty much never gets upset. So he took it well.

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