36 w 5 d not dilated yet :/

cmv5 · November 2015

I went to my doctor today and she said im not dilated. We will have to check again next week, but she thinks i can probably go until week 41. im ftm wondering how common is for first time moms to go pass the due date. Im worried because im wanted to stop working next week and if i do so and baby doesnt come out until almost week 42 that means less time with baby before i got back to work

work is so stressful at this point i feel that i cant keep working

caitlyn5454 · November 2015

It's incredibly common for FTMs to go past their due date. I haven't been checked at all for dilation/effacement (also FTM), and I wouldn't be surprised if I'm not either.

ZucchettoBaby · November 2015

Can't provide much advice about being dilated/ going over due date as I'm also a FTM, but I can give you some advice about work.

I'm 37 +2 and I've been off work since 4 Nov. I was originally planning to work until the end of this week, but I was struggling to continue to work. I was in an office job, which was agrivating my lower back pain. Plus the travel to work of 45min each way was becoming challenging.

I didn't want to finish earlier for the same reasons as well as financially wanting the extra few weeks of work, but I knew I couldn't cope anyone. I'm glad I decided to finish earlier, it gave me time to get extra rest (and de-stress), get things organised around the house and for Christmas which was lucky because I'm being induced next week on 3rd (original due date 14/12).

I'm now considering it lucky that I finished early because otherwise I would of only have 4-5 days to prepare myself if I stuck with my original plan.

Just listen to yourself and your body on what it needs and don't push yourself!! Best of luck!

Beckah31 · November 2015

It's pretty common to go over. Babies are ready when they are ready. I teach kindergarten and plan on working until I have the baby or my doctor feels it's unsafe. That gives me my full leave to establish his routines and breast feeding. Have you talked to HR?

angelicac06 · November 2015

I am 39 weeks tomorrow and no action. Not dilating, no contractions, no softning of cervix, nor has he dropped. I am being given the option to induce or schedule c section next week at exactly 40 weeks. I'm also a FTM.

Mother0fDragons · November 2015

Every woman is different. My MIL was late with her first, but my sister delivered on her due date with her daughter.
Some women can be dilated for weeks without progressing or they can go from no dilation to 10 cm within hours.
Do you have to make a decision by next week? You'll still "only" be 37 weeks.
*typo

stlmomof2 · November 2015

My first pregnancy I was not dilated at all. Everything all closed up. Went past my due date. Induced at 41 weeks. Same thing happened to my 2 friends. They had to be induced at 41 weeks.

BrookeBrown2015 · November 2015

I am an ftm as well and when my Dr checked to see if I was dilated I was not. I think that was at 36 weeks... My original guess for due date was 12/06 but I have been told 12/04 and 11/28 also so I don't know which is more accurate but I haven't felt any contractions or anything. I am not trying to rush it though.

apadilla414 · November 2015

With my first, because of GD, I was scheduled to be induced on my due date 2/7. Had my last Dr apt on 4 days prior to my due date/induction date. I was 0 dilated or effaced. Dr said, you're not showing any progress. See you for your induction on the 7th. I went into labor the very next day. Started labor around 10pm and was 5cm by 1am. DD was born at 9am on the 5th. You can be 0 and still have a quick progressing labor with your first. At least that was my case. I'm also the type who never got BH contractions. Didn't with my first or this pregnancy. Lost my mucus plug shortly after my contractions started and my water was broken for me in the hospital.

Bombmom3 · November 2015

Couple of things:

At 36wks most FTMs will not be dilated.

Dilation/no dilation prior to actual labor means nothing unless you are at risk for pre term labor or have cervical incompetence. You can be 4cm and walk around two weeks past your due date or you can be firm and closed and spontaneously go into labor at 38wks.

There is no way to tell when you may/may not go into labor so it is hard to schedule or plan anything - including maternity leave.

I'm sorry there is no clear answer here for you. Just hang in there!

LMJL · November 2015

I'm 37 & 4 w/no dilation yet either. From what I've read most women who go +40 weeks have an EDD from a wrong LMP & are actually on time. (about 40% of pregnancies, this is from memory, so #s might be off) When you take that into consideration only about 10% of pregnancies are gestationally over 40 weeks.
But I think you're still early to worry about this. I'm a little surprised that your ob is commenting on you going late at this point. Also, I've heard on here that dilation is no clear indicator of when you'll go into labor. You can walk around @ 3 cm for a week & no labor or you could go tomorrow with no dilation at all. I'd try not to worry about it. You want baby to stay in there until 38 anyway for lung development. Try to think positively about delivering at 38 weeks. That's really the best thing you can do. It's what I'm doing (though I want baby to stay put till 40 weeks so I can finish up my semester!) I think it's going to work & it's all I can really control anyway. Sorry work is so hard right now, hopefully it eases up a bit for the holiday season!

cmv5 · November 2015

Thanks everyone for your replies. I think my biggest issue is work. I really wish they were nicer and let me work from home since they have multiple remote workers. But for some reason they dont want to let me unless there is a medical reason. My doctor doesnt want to give me a note because i have a healthy pregnancy

im glad is a healthy pregnancy but really? I dont feel like working until going to labor i feel pretty miserable right now.

AlejandraN2 · November 2015

Like others said, it's pretty unusual for your doctor to predict that you'll be late just because you're not dilated at 36 weeks. That's pretty early. I wasn't dilated at 36 weeks with my last pregnancy and then i went into labor at 36 w/1d. So you never know.

For work, I understand it's hard but if you're feeling good overall and you have a healthy pregnancy, think of the longer benefits of working for longer and being able to have more time with the baby. I'm 39 weeks and I'm planning on working till 40 weeks just so i can have more time on the back end - coming from a STM, trust me it'll be worth it. You have a couple of weeks left - you can do it.

LMJL · November 2015

cmv5 said:
Thanks everyone for your replies. I think my biggest issue is work. I really wish they were nicer and let me work from home since they have multiple remote workers. But for some reason they dont want to let me unless there is a medical reason. My doctor doesnt want to give me a note because i have a healthy pregnancy im glad is a healthy pregnancy but really? I dont feel like working until going to labor i feel pretty miserable right now.

Wow! I'm kinda surprised your dr won't write you a note. Not sure what kind of work you do, but perhaps your pregnancy could become a lot more "uncomfortable" when you next talk to your dr? You don't have to lie, but maybe just complain more about what's happening. Then ask him again for a note! Also, how long is your commute? For me that would be the killer as baby suddenly HATES when I drive, something about the position it must be in I think, b/c it goes nuts! Bounces around on my bladder, punches/kicks my spine & groin muscles, it's super uncomfortable. It makes any drive over 20 mins unbeaarable & probably not safe. I saw another poster on here is having similar problems so had to leave work early. Perhaps this is happening to you?

just a thought! Regardless it'll all be worth it in the end, right?

modschetter · November 2015

I'm 37+4 and my doctor told me that they won't even do an exam to check until 39 weeks because the dilation doesn't really mean anything until you have regular, timeable contractions. As much as I would like to know if I was dilating at all, i figure it's better than being a few centimeters and still not actually going into labor for a few weeks. The doctor said that 90% of FTMs go after their due date

but yay for healthy, bigger babies!

dec15mum · November 2015

Over here they don't check how dilated you are until you're in labour and you only get a membrane sweep when you're at least 7 days over due.
I understand it being difficult with work, but just remember it's really not long to go now in comparison to finding out you were pregnant and you could end up dilating really fast!
Hope all goes well

ToneGirl · November 2015

With my first, I was not dilated at all at 36 weeks, then suddenly at 37 weeks my water broke and I had my son a few hours later. You just never know! You could go into labor today or a few weeks from now. It's the waiting game for us all right now but hang in there!

LittleKick · November 2015

With my 1st I was nearly 2 weeks late and had to be induced, they started inducing me on the 28th December and by the 30th I was still only 2cm dilated, took ages, had her on the 31st with my 2nd I went into labour naturally 2 days after my due date at 9am but at 1pm I was checked over and hadn't even started to dilate yet so was sent home but at 4pm when going back to hospital as contractions got to strong to handle they said I was 6cm and he was born a few hours later, I've never started to dilate till way into labour but once it happens it happens quickly, I know some people dilate a few cm's days b4 but it's normally at or around the due date unless they have baby early

LMJL · November 2015

@modschetter & @dec15mum- let me tell you, next time around I might opt out of cervical checks. No one mentions that they kind of hurt. I wasn't expecting them to be pleasant, but didn't think they'd be painful! & I've had 2 different docs perform them, so I think it's universal!

lwebley · November 2015

I think statistically speaking the average for first time moms is around 41 weeks.

I just tried to look for a link but I got all different answers, ranging from 40w4d- 41w1day.

cmcweeney · November 2015

It's very common. And it's so unpredictable who will go when. I wasn't dilated at all at week 36. At week 37 I was 2 cm dilated...2 weeks later and I am still the same. And this is number three for me! You really just never know. Try to be patient. Eventually baby will be here!

whit3183 · November 2015

I've read that the statistical average for FTMs is to go into labor at 40 weeks 5 days. Having said that, I have two friends who were not dilated at all during their appointments and then went into labor and gave birth within 48 hours. One was 37 wks 6 days and the other was just under 39 weeks. So the moral of the story is that not being dilated at 37 weeks doesn't automatically dictate going over your due date.