What do you do for the Holidays?

kayla2536 · November 2015

As in, who's family/house do you go to?

My husband and I have been married for 2 years, together for almost 8 years. For the last 6 years, this is how it's gone:
Thanksgiving & Easter: His mom's house, my parent's house, his aunt's house - so we're driving all over the place all day. Can't really settle in anywhere for long!
Christmas eve: I shop with my dad, party at my grandpa's, party at his aunt's. Another crazy day!
Christmas: His mom's house, then my parent's house and home. That's not too bad.

I just get so sick of trying to split time so I don't make anyone feel bad that we aren't there on the holidays! This year is the first year that I told my parent's we won't be there for Thanksgiving. I'm on the younger side (25) so I guess these decisions need to be made sooner rather than later, especially since we'll have a baby next year to add to the chaos. I just know my dad is going to lay a guilt trip on me.

Holidays with my family are only my mom, dad, and brother so it's not like it's hard to get together at all...my DH's family, well...he's 1 of 6, his mom is 1 of 5...so he has a HUGE family.

fishwife799 · November 2015

We mostly play it by ear each year. We live in the same town as both sets of parents and one of my brothers so we split a lot of holidays. Plus my in laws aren't really big on celebrating most of them. They are kind of Ba-Humbug. The one exception is Christmas. Now that we have more than one kid I decided it was to much of a pain to lug them around from house to house and skip naps. So as of last year I make Christmas dinner and invite everyone to our house.

adiaz132003 · November 2015

Since we got serious dating we have been sharing holidays. So one year it's thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his and the next year we switch. Now that a baby is on the way, next Christmas we are gonna try and do both sides cause Christmas will be at my moms and and DHs moms and they live 30 min apart. Normally, all holidays for my family are at another family members that live over an hour away.

blackgirlmagic · November 2015

While dating and married we spent Easter with my family, split or host Thanksgiving and Christmas is always in NY with his mom. My husband has always expressed to me that once we have our own family we will be starting our own Christmas traditions and spend them as a family. So I'm guessing Easter will be with my family, Thanksgiving with his and Christmas at home.

CopperLane · November 2015

Both my family and my husband's family are spread all over the US. My sis lives abroad so whatever holiday she is able to make it to, we will spend with my family. My DHs family is a huge pain so we limit holidays with them and mostly spend them with my family.

For example, two years in a row we invited his parents. Both years they said they'd be there, but we didn't know that they had other plans in mind. They wouldn't cancel on us, instead they would say "oh we are going here or there". My poor husband is so upset by this so we decided not to invite them anymore. It means more holidays with family that is actually fun to be around instead of stuffy holidays with family that spends most of their time telling my husband how to live his life.

If this wasn't the case, we'd alternate holidays.

Huskerfanz · November 2015

My family is mostly local.

Thanksgiving day is with my extended family. Sometimes we see ILs but not always.

Christmas we haven't been consistent but we do my family on an off day usually and ILs Christmas Eve or Day

Nothing else is really the same every year. It keeps changing as siblings get married. My family is super flexible. MIL likes to do things on the actual day or not at all. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't.

catherinekate · November 2015

My husband's family dictates most of the routine. @huskerfamily -- my family is also flexible and my MIL also likes to do things on Christmas or not at all. So by default, they tend to win unfortunately. Really looking forward to having a kid next year. We've agreed that everyone has to come to us!

izzyp25 · November 2015

We switch it up!

Two years ago we did Thanksgiving with my family here (Maryland), Christmas Eve/Christmas morning with my family and took an afternoon flight to Florida to be there in time for Christmas dinner with DH family. Last year we were with DH's family in Florida for Thanksgiving and stayed home with my family for Christmas.

This year we will be staying in town for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. Flights are so expensive so we are driving to Florida through the night Christmas Eve to be with DH family for Christmas!

I already told DH that once baby arrives I want to be in my own home for Christmas morning every year. We should see how that ends up playing out!

Bear14+ · November 2015

We usually do a lot of running around. Thanksgiving is always early with DH's huge family, then we go to my SIL's family dinner where my bro & mom are. They eat later and are a more rowdy bunch so it's always fun.

Christmas Eve is always with my family & we go to DH's parents for a Christmas lunch.

goldie987 · November 2015

This is the one time I love our weird family situation. For thanksgiving we alternate every year but for all the other holidays our decision is super easy. I grew up Catholic but ended up converting to Judaism which my husband also happens to be. We still do Christmas with my family, as well as New Years, but we skip easter. We skip hanukkah with DH's family (unless its super close to Christmas) and do passover with them in the spring and Rosh Hasahana in the fall, depending what day it falls on. If they were closer by we would add in hanukkah but a 6 hour drive for a minor holiday is a bit much. We would probably still skip easter with my family even if they were close, mostly because it falls during passover and you try finding easter candy without wheat, barley, soy or corn or any of their derivatives (including corn syrup), all things that are forbidden during passover.

samsonator · November 2015

My family lives 12 hours away, so we typically spend holidays with my husband's family if he is off.

This year my husband works 12 hours on Christmas and I don't want to drive 12 hours home one way by myself (in the midwest), so I'll be spending it alone, bummer! It would be pretty awkward to go to my MIL's for a holiday without my husband. I'm already planning my Christmas movie schedule.

DeePaddy24 · November 2015

We've always switched up which side we had dinner with...if we had Thanksgiving dinner with my in-laws, then we did Christmas dinner with my family. We still see each family on both days, but we spend the afternoon with one, then dinner with the other. This year we are supposed to go to my in-laws for Christmas dinner, but I'm going to switch things up & say we're going there for the day (apps, games, gifts), then my family for dinner...& I'm pregnant, so DH won't argue with me, hahaha!

I don't like having to spend so much time on Christmas Day driving around, so I think we may re-evaluate things next year when we have a LO to also consider. It would be much more convenient to just go to one place, or to have everyone come to us.

cdnvb4 · November 2015

When we set our holiday schedule, we lived in FL with my ILs in NC and my family in Canada. We've since moved to NC (about 2 hours from my ILs) but have decided to keep the same schedule. We rotate Christmas on a 3-year rotation: one year with my parents, one year with hub's family, and one at home at our place. On the years when we do not go to Canada, my parents typically drive down on Boxing Day and spent a few days with us between Christmas and New Years. Because our work schedules don't match up super well, we rarely make it up for Canadian Thanksgiving, and thus do not have a similar rotation there. We typically end up at my ILs for Thanksgiving, especially on the two of three years when we won't spend Christmas at their place.

NLewis1 · November 2015

We switch holidays. Both our families live in the same town as us. This year for thanksgiving his parents are flying out of state to his brothers house and we are going to my moms. Christmas Eve is always with my family and Christmas Day is always with his. It worked out for us because my family has always celebrated more on Christmas Eve and his family more on Christmas Day. Easter at his parents because they (and we) are Catholic and its big for them, my parents aren't huge on Easter. We rotate thanksgiving every year, though we have had a year or two where both families came to our house, but our families get along really well. I'm actually surprised we don't party all together more often

Emztron500 · November 2015

Thankfully my husband's family (huge extended family - his mother and her 13 siblings and all their kids/grandkids) does a big party sometime in the week prior to Christmas so that the individual families can do their own things on Christmas Day. And we almost always go visit my parents out of town for Christmas and a few days afterward. This year we're also going to the Christmas dinner with my local siblings because they're doing it on the 23rd, yay!

Maybe just explain your difficulties to your family and see if you can push festivities to another day? They might prefer it to missing you guys altogether...especially because they'll probably be eager to see the baby at the holidays.

ahernandez16 · November 2015

Our families and us live in the same town so we usually split it. My family eats thanksgiving at like 2, his eats at a normal dinner hour around 6 or so. My family is a lot bigger on Christmas morning and breakfast and his family does dinner and opens presents a little later in the morning so usually we can sneak over there while breakfast is being made by my family. Honestly, it's hectic and I hate it because someone is always throwing a fit that we're spending more time with one family than the other and I'm sure that'll only get worse when the baby comes.

satcher08 · November 2015

We go so many places it's not even funny! On Thanksgiving we do lunch with my family and then go to SIL's house for dinner. For Christmas we usually do two separate extended family get togethers in the week before Christmas. One is grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins on my mom's side and the other is my dad's side. DH's family is all pretty scattered and he doesn't have any living grandparents so we don't really do anything with his extended family. On Christmas Eve we go to my parents house and then Christmas day we go to MIL's house. It's a hectic schedule but it works out pretty well for us.