Me: 28 | DH: 31Together since 2006 | Married May 2015TTC #1 since November 2015BFP 5/17/16 | EDD 1/27/17 | Born 2/4/17
@Kjcalloway My mother in law is seriously nuts too, so I feel your pain! I feel half bad saying it but I think that she really is just a bit touched in the head...touch as in with a brick....which caused her to be slow, rude and completely oblivious.
DH's family have been pretty worthless throughout his childhood, to put it nicely. Parents divorced when he was about 8, MIL moved down south, FIL was pretty much a con man for lack of a better description. He only saw his mother once a year, at best, and that was only because he went down to see her at Christmas. Even though it is common knowledge that she wasn't around and knew nothing about what was going on with her child she continues to put on this act constantly patting herself on the back for being such a good mother "My children never went to daycare or a babysitter" Um...no you just let them in the house alone with no food for days at a time! "My children always went to the doctor and the dentist" Then why did my husband have a collarbone that had to be broken and reset 12 years after breaking it and crazy cavities when he finally was old enough to get his own health insurance?
Anyway, since we had our son, we have seen her much more, but only because we generally foot the bill to fly her up. Despite telling her she is always welcome to visit and paying for her flights and pretty much everything else during her visit, she will consistently complain that we never come to see her and she always suggests its because of me. To be clear, she lives in the middle of nowhere, only a gas station and a piggly wiggly anywhere close, she never took off from work when we would go down there, she doesn't maintain her home and lets the dog pee everywhere, so it is less than sanitary, no cable company has reached out to her home yet, so nothing to occupy our time. Despite this, she expects us to use the little time we have off from work to pay to fly three of us down there, rent a car and car seat, drive three hours to her house just to sit and stare at a wall. Neither of us thinks it is a good use of our money as we are trying to save for our family and would rather pay to have her come here, at least while our son is so young. We must explain this to her twice a month, that it has nothing to do with not wanting to see her.
Last night she called to tell us that she is going to her cousin's home in Virginia, half way to where we are, for Christmas and wants us to come. She will only be there for two nights, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and we have never met her cousin before. So, she wants us to drive six hours to a stranger's house on Christmas Eve with our 3 year old and have him spend Christmas Morning in a strange house, just to get back in the car and drive back that afternoon. We are apparently inconsiderate and don't do our part because we don't want to do this.
I'm sorry, but she is the one that left her child when he was just a little boy to live with someone who could barely care for himself. For 30 years if he didn't travel to her she wouldn't have seen him at all, and even now that she does travel, we offer to foot the bill to be kind and help her to see her grandchild more. And, more than once, she has cashed in her ticket and changed the dates of her flight without asking us if that would be alright since we have to take off work for the time she is here, etc. Am I crazy or is she the inconsiderate one? I know it is a novel, but believe me, that doesn't even partially explain her!
@DCHokiemom you should tell them that you found that burning dog shit is ten times more effective at home cleansing than sage and admonish them for being bad mothers and not caring if their children go up in flames...while eating a straight brick of cream cheese...organic of course.
@DCHokieMom I think the most fascinating thing for me about the uber strict organic lifestyle parents is how they do it themselves. Like, okay I could force a child to only eat all the healthiest foods. Because it's a kid and they eat whatever I put it in the house. But I couldn't do that because I am weak and I am not a hypocrite. I would be forcing organic apples on my kid for a snack while I'm over here eating a DQ Blizzard (Reese's FWIW). Edited for spelling.
@MRSCORKER Sorry about the MIL problems - that sounds awful! Both times we found out we were pregnant, we told our families around 6-8 weeks and asked them not to tell anyone until we were ready and gave them the go ahead. Both times, MIL told EVERYONE she knew. During my second pregnancy, I went to a cookout at her house and I knew something was wrong and I had a feeling I was in the process of a loss. Every.single.woman at the party came up and congratulated me on the pregnancy when they shouldn't have know in the first place. Talk about awkward. About a month or so after I lost the baby, MIL was visiting for the first time (I completely ignored her for a good few weeks because I was so mad) and she goes, "So sorry about the MC. I gotta tell you, I was totally bummed out and in a real funk for a few days when I found out." Really? Really, woman? Way to make it all about you.
**loss briefly mentioned**
I'm in the MIL Twatwaffle camp. She is legit nuts. DH told me on our second date and I thought he was being harsh and then I met her and it's been all down hill from there. She did her best to ruin our wedding, got completely smashed and made a fool of herself. We're hosting thanksgiving and I made DH promise not to bring up our recent MC because I know it will be turned around so that it's all about her and all that she will want to talk about all day. Last thanksgiving she went in my bathroom (private, master bath. Not the one for guests) and when I asked her what she needed she said she was going to throw away my BCP so she could have a grand child. It's a miracle I'm not in prison.