So it actually all began when my husband and I first announced our pregnancy. MIL was not excited at all. Then she totally flipped and got super crazy....doing possessive things like calling the baby "her baby" and referring to me as (her) baby's mother instead of by my name. She even got as crazy as to argue with the dr as to what gender our baby was (despite going to the ultrasound herself), and demanding that we take our baby to a preschool closer to her house (45 minutes away from us...and hello, he wasn't even born yet!).
Now, since our son has been born, she's gone completely baby crazy. Refers to him as her baby still. When we first got home, she came over two days later and instead of offering to help or anything, walked in and demanded to hold "her baby". Our son is 3 months old now, being breastfed, and she comes over and tells my DH "I don't care if he needs to eat, he needs his Nana now." And is totally serious. When we took him to her workplace, she demanded that she introduce him to her boss, which turned into parading him around the store telling everyone "this is my baby!" And she didn't introduce me to a single person. Ignored me completely. She's even gone as far as to use his picture as her profile picture claiming him as hers and got upset at DH when he asked her to take it down.
She even ignored DH on his birthday and instead was hovering over me like a vulture continually pestering me to hold the baby saying things like "but YOU get to hold him every day. He's crying because he wants Nana."
She's always complaining to DH that she "never gets to see the baby", but she never calls to make plans, even though she lives 30 minutes away from us and only works 3 days a week. I'm a stay at home mom so I'm home EVERY DAY.
My mom and stepmom don't do any of these things. In fact, they make a point to schedule time out and drive the 2 hrs distance just to spend time with us. And whenever they are here, they go out of their way to ask us what help we need (like making dinner, doing dishes, etc). They've always respected our boundaries and have really blossomed in their roles as grandmas.
I'm at a loss as to what to do. It just seems that my MIL just wants to re-live her days as a mom instead of as a grandma (ours is her third grandchild btw). DH and I have talked to her about her behavior....she flat out ignores me and then plays the victim when DH talks to her and gives excuses like "I'm just joking." Her own daughter even told her she was being baby crazy and she ignored her as well.