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December 2015 Moms
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Work leaving do before going on maternity

marochickenmarochicken member
in December 2015 Moms
I was just wondering what is the etiquette on this. I am not 100% sure when exactly I am going to stop work (my work is flexible) but people have already started asking me about organising leaving drinks. Given that I am not drinking and a bit tired I would prefer to skip this one, however I am also aware that I might not see some of these ppl again or for a while at least. Also it feels weird to have one since I am going to go back. What did/will you do?
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Re: Work leaving do before going on maternity

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  • LaceyH13LaceyH13 member
    We had a work baby shower, but no "going away" gathering because I am not going away - I am taking a short hiatus. I would have felt weird going to such an event because A) I can't drink, and B) I am not leaving.

    If they really want to go out for drinks after work, they can do that anytime they want. I wouldn't feel obligated to go at all.
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  • dec15mumdec15mum member
    I had mine yesterday, I thought it was great! Everyone got really drunk and I laughed at them being idiots! I'm going away for a year though rather than a couple of weeks.
    You're not obliged to attend, you are in the last stages of pregnancy! But if you're feeling up to it it might be a good way to keep your mind off things!
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  • taysuntaysun member
    Maybe you could do a work brunch or Sunday roast instead? That way yes drinks are involved but there will be more incentive for you to want to attend.
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  • marochickenmarochicken member
    @VesperLove they are asking whether I will organise one for going on maternity. It is a young company with many ppl in their early middle twenties. The truth is I had not really thought about it and it seems too much effort. But I am going away for 8 months and I bet I will miss them and work. It sounds like it is not a 'must' though so I might give it a miss this time :-)
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  • navyblueladybugnavyblueladybug member
    I say do it if you feel like it... If you're up for it. If not, I would hope they would understand! You're probably exhausted and if they really want one, I would hope there would be someone else in the office that could at least organize it for you so all you have to do is show up.
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    edited November 2015
    You can do what I do when I'm not feeling up to it but I know I'm at least *sort of* expected to make an appearance. I do just that. 

    I make an appearance. I show up for a few minutes of facetime and then gracefully opt out. 

    Given the reason for the party, I imagine everybody will understand. 

    For the record, nobody is going to hold it against you if you explain you can't do it. But if you do want to show and just feel overwhelmed by the idea of a party - this is a fair compromise.
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  • Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
    marochicken said:

    @VesperLove they are asking whether I will organise one for going on maternity. It is a young company with many ppl in their early middle twenties. The truth is I had not really thought about it and it seems too much effort. But I am going away for 8 months and I bet I will miss them and work. It sounds like it is not a 'must' though so I might give it a miss this time :-)

    Honestly, if they really want you to have a going on "maternity leave party" it seems they would throw it themselves and not burden you with it. I definitely don't think it is in poor taste for you to organize and throw yourself especially if that's what they are expecting, but don't be obligated to take it on with everything else you have to do to prepare for baby. Maybe tell them you would love to have one but don't have the energy or resources to put in the effort?
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  • tewinkle27tewinkle27 member
    If they were the ones throwing it I would probably show up for a little bit, but seeing as they want you to host/throw it. Id pass, who has the energy for that at this point??
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  • momotheflyinglemurmomotheflyinglemur member
    My office is doing a Baby Breakfast for me the first week of December as I will be out starting the second week. It is going to be a few people, they do it for anyone who is having a baby or getting married in the office, it is also when they present the honoree with a custom made gift basket.

    Some of the ladies I work with though took me out for brunch a few weeks ago and another group of the younger girls in the office are taking me to go see Mockingjay Part 2 before I leave. I intend to come back too, but they are goofy and love to act like they are going to miss me bunches.
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  • lalg28lalg28 member
    My work threw me a baby shower before I left to be a SAHM. A going out for drinks celebration seems odd when you're pregnant. Especially asking you to organize it. I would probably decline if I didn't feel like organizing and going to it. But if you feel like it, maybe suggest a potluck lunch or something instead.
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  • satindawl83satindawl83 member
    I think it's a little odd. May be a function of it being a young company, but I've never heard of organizing a happy hour for someone going on maternity leave. And as others have said, you're coming back and you can't drink.

    Did you have a work baby shower?
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  • marochickenmarochicken member
    @satindawl83 no, I did not. I live in the UK and here baby showers are not big yet, especially work showers. It is very much related to it being a young company; I would not even imagine any of them getting up early enough on a weekend to do a brunch. Also it is pretty much a male dominated company. So niceties that would seem normal go out of the window... ;-) But I definitely have loads of mixed feelings about leaving. I might do the lazy option of picking a date and a place and just show up with the expectation that I can't stay long...
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  • MerBotMerBot member
    It's a little weird, but as you said - young company and different culture.

    I'd probably suggest a potluck lunch first; but if that doesn't fly I'd just do the other thing.

    Either way; it's a low-commitment and low-effort way to take the opportunity to celebrate with them in a way they will enjoy, sip on soda.... Then leave whenever I feel like it because I'm tired haha.

    But it seems a simple and (relatively) low-effort way to leave with goodwill and do a celebration they will also enjoy.
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