FTM - how am I supposed to know everything?!?

ucfgemini · November 2015

I'm starting to get a little overwhelmed. I promised myself no planning until after first trimester but good God- how are FTM supposed to know what to get to be prepared?!? Is there a book I can read that has a checklist of everything I need to get and "how to guide" for daily routines. I fee so unprepared!

nicolesmith0624 · November 2015

Honestly, ALL you really need is a car seat, diapers, wipes, place for baby to sleep and something for baby to eat. Maybe a bottle or two of infant Tylenol, some Mylicon, a couple pacifiers, and a thermometer. I PROMISE!

nicolesmith0624 · November 2015

And once baby is born, you'll learn what you need to do. It's amazing how that mama instinct kicks in and takes over.

NLewis1 · November 2015

No one expects you to know everything. It's a learn as you go kinda thing. As stated above, you only really need a few things, and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. As a STM I will do somethings differently and some the same this time around. Feed your baby, sleep, snuggle. You'll figure out the rest! Don't worry so much

hockeyfan42 · November 2015

I remember being completely freaked out at BRU trying to figure out what we needed and what brands are better, etc.

As PPs said, you only need a few things at first! I promise. An infant's needs are very simple! (Diapers/wipes, something to eat, place to sleep) You'll have plenty of time to purchase things as you go along!

ETA: I hated when people would ask me if I had the baby in a routine yet because I didn't have the slightest clue how to do that. It took a few months for us to settle in and get to the point where a routine developed. Things are hectic at first with it all being so new, then you have growth spurts, gas, inconsistent sleeping habits etc.... I don't think it's something you can really plan for.

Emztron500 · November 2015

Even if you somehow absorbed all the info out there, most of it would be contradictory. Don't worry about trying to plan for routines etc now. You will most likely find you end up not following any of it when you experience real life with your baby (who is not the same as any other baby). Just do some light, enjoyable reading about babies and parenting, get a sense for the kind of parenting style you want to have, and then do your best to keep that in mind when baby's here. Believe me, you'll be doing lots of frantic googling while lying on the couch trapped under your sleeping baby anyway.

colesmom33 · November 2015

I learned SO MUCH from my BMB with my son!! There were so many things I didn't know - for instance, I had no idea we shouldn't have anything in the crib including bumper and blankets (unless baby is swaddled). You have a lot of months to learn it all. Your pediatrician will teach you a lot. Also, reach out to your mom friends or even a mommy group in your area! These are the things that saved me.

But also, be easy on yourself. You are not going to be perfect and that's okay. There will be days that you will do whatever you need just to get through the day and that is okay!!

Linsbins · November 2015

Lurk the bmbs that have just given birth. They all ask the questions that you will have. Another ftm I know just pulls out YouTube a lot to show her what to do. I don't know about YouTube teaching you how to install a car seat, but useful for other things.

little_bren · November 2015

Most of the list of "necessities" are crap and put out by retailers. Some of it depends on you/the baby. As far as learning, you pick it up over time. You'll be great!

dragonfly321 · November 2015

Buy the book Baby Bargains. And follow lucie's list. She gives real time advice/reviews on products.
And no. You don't need the wipe warmer.
You will NEVER know everything

Just remember... Time flies, so cherish every minute!
Lurker from Feb '15

likeabel · November 2015

Lucies List! She's the best!

ucfgemini · November 2015

Thanks, all! I had a minor freak out session! Already learning a lot but I have sooooo much more to learn!

peaceinnature · November 2015

When DS was three days old I called my midwife freaking out saying "I don't know what to do! Help me!" And she said, "You already know your baby better than I do. As long as he's changed and fed, just go with what feels right to you, trust yourself." It was the best advice and what helped me to start tuning out all the other "advice" I was hearing. Do whatever works for us. I just repeated that to myself a lot the first weeks. And then a routine evolved. And then it changed and re-evolved dozens of times.

And I'm sure I'll have to do that again this time because the experience won't be exactly the same as it was with DS.

jmohio · November 2015

I am in the same freak out. I didn't know day cares have year long waiting list, being a working girl my child will need daycare within the next year. I also didnt know all the questions you need to ask a daycare. My best friend thankfully has been giving me tasks 1 per week to take a look at and she said once I reach 12 weeks and I can actually start planning more she has daily tasks for me haha. I also didn't know photographers fill up so quick that most people book while early on to make sure they get a good one. It's the silly things I am worried about right now. I know the more important things to worry about will come later.

PressLove · November 2015

I second the suggestion of the Baby Bargains book. I was overwhelmed trying to figure out which car seat was better or what items I really needed. This book helped to sort it all out for me.

TB is really good about giving checklists and things to do as you progress through your pregnancy.

SoEnamored · November 2015

I remember having the exact same feeling before my first. It wasn't until he arrived and was here for a few weeks that I calmed down and realized I could just take it as it comes. You don't need to know everything right away. But, since knowledge can feel like power: take a caring for baby class, a breastfeeding class, a cpr type class and watch "happiest baby on the block"

adiaz132003 · November 2015

I feel the same way. Last night I had a freaky dream that my baby came early and we didn't have anything at all. The baby had to sleep on a chair and my boobs weren't working and they couldn't eat. Then to make it worse, in the dream, I couldn't wake up to my babies cries and I felt like a horrible mother. I was so happy to wake up.