Husband pleasing

Re: Husband pleasing

• millereliz13 member

  November 2015

  I am 8 weeks pp and had a c-section. I'm all healed but not feeling sexy. I had to be honest with my husband about how I was insanely attracted to him but having issues with how I feel about my body and my energy level. We've been together nearly 15 years, so he and I are very open and honest. He's been super supportive. It's ok to feel that way especially only 4 weeks pp. At 4 weeks, I was up every 3 hours, spending at least an hour to feed and settle my little guy. It's super hard and who could blame you for feeling this way.

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• midge519 member

  November 2015

  Be open and honest with him. Don't do anything you are not ready for just to please him. At about 1.5 weeks I pleased SO in other ways because I wanted it and that's what we could do. We both were joking how we couldn't wait for me and I just went for pleasing him to hold us both over so to speak. But he knows that if I'm not comfortable with something it won't happen

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• mommav83 member

  November 2015

  Mine asked for it and I refused. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. So he waited till yesterday after my 6 week pp check and we were both able to enjoy. I'm sorry but I think it's only fair, I mean I'm the one who had surgery why should he have all the fun.

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• mollypuss1 member

  November 2015

  I 'pleased' my SO by carrying his baby for 9 months, then undergoing emergency surgery to get her here safe, then spending 6 weeks recovering from that surgery while still taking care of his baby on very very little sleep. If he needs to be 'pleased' in any other ways at the minute he can damn please himself until I'm good and ready. I don't feel horrible at all for feeling this way at the minute, in fact if anything, he is the one who would feel horrible if I felt pressurised/guilt tripped into doing something I simply didn't want to do.

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• abkenyon member

  November 2015

  Mine wanted it less than 2 weeks after I gave birth. I have pleased him orally several times because I know if I don't there is always someone else that will. I am now 7 weeks and still freaked about having sex but dr said its ok so we will see what happens. We are both sleep deprived but that doesn't really mean anything in the argument.

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• KLHauck12 member

  November 2015

  My husband has not asked and I know for a fact that he has just taken care of matters himself. He knows no actual sex until after I get the okay from my doctor and we need to figure out the birth control situation before we go there (this newborn thing has been overwhelming for both of us and we do not want accidental Irish twins! ). But I've definitely wanted it and twice we have fooled around doing other things. The last time involved an amazing make out session (oh, if I could always get so much foreplay, lol! ). I am dying for another round of that but baby has been very fussy lately. ...so we are exhausted and rarely get a moment where one of us isn't dealing with her. And now my husband has a cold. And today he us currently mad at me...so probably not getting anything any time soon

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• mollypuss1 member

  November 2015

  abkenyon said:

  Mine wanted it less than 2 weeks after I gave birth. I have pleased him orally several times because I know if I don't there is always someone else that will. I am now 7 weeks and still freaked about having sex but dr said its ok so we will see what happens. We are both sleep deprived but that doesn't really mean anything in the argument.

  I'm trying very hard not to be rude but if I honestly thought that not giving my SO oral sex would result in him getting it elsewhere then I would pack his bags for him!
  
  

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• whitemn04 member

  November 2015

  My husband is understanding about the Sri thing but I can tell he misses his wife. I actually folded and put my laundry away so that made him happy hehe.. Money is a little tight since leave doesn't pay real well so he asked if sex could be our Christmas gifts to each other. I laughed but told him it's possible if I'm feeling better by then.

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• tracij12 member

  November 2015 edited November 2015

  mollypuss1 said:

  abkenyon said:

  Mine wanted it less than 2 weeks after I gave birth. I have pleased him orally several times because I know if I don't there is always someone else that will. I am now 7 weeks and still freaked about having sex but dr said its ok so we will see what happens. We are both sleep deprived but that doesn't really mean anything in the argument.

  I'm trying very hard not to be rude but if I honestly thought that not giving my SO oral sex would result in him getting it elsewhere then I would pack his bags for him!
  
  

  This for sure!!!! I read this AM but chose not to respond in that moment b/c I probably would have been rude. That statement is so incredibly sad anytime, but especially after you've just grown and delivered his baby.
  

  Married DH 08.28.10

  Pregnancy #1: BFP 04.10.11 EDD 12.23.11 DD1 Born 12.4.11

   Pregnancy #2: BFP 5.12.14 MC 5.20.14 @ 5wk4d

  Pregnancy #3: BFP 11.1.14 EDD 7.5.15 MC 11.13.14 @ 6wk4d

  Pregnancy #4: BFP 1.31.15 EDD 10.5.15 DD2 Born 9.23.15
  

   

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• JaqiDec04 member

  November 2015 edited November 2015

  abkenyon said:

  Mine wanted it less than 2 weeks after I gave birth. I have pleased him orally several times because I know if I don't there is always someone else that will. I am now 7 weeks and still freaked about having sex but dr said its ok so we will see what happens. We are both sleep deprived but that doesn't really mean anything in the argument.

  "If you won't, I'll find someone who will" is a line that my high school boyfriend used to get in my pants at 16. I told him to get it somewhere else, but that shit wouldn't work for me.
  
  If my husband tried that crap, his keys wouldn't work when he came home, his bank accounts would be closed. And there'd be a business card for my lawyer waiting for him.
  
  You should be worth more than a blow job.

  

  

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• wack0032 member

  November 2015

  I can't even imagine my husband pressuring me or making me feel guilty for not wanting sex yet. Shame on anyone's husband who is. Your body was hijacked for 9 months and then you pushed a human out of your vagina (or possibly had to have major surgery to have it removed). Pardon us if we are not in the mood.

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• mommav83 member

  November 2015

  I'm so glad someone said it bc I know I wanted to. If he wants it elsewhere have at it and if that's even remotely viable I'd tell my DH don't let the door hit you in the a** on the way out. Ugh so not happening. Mine, while he waited impatiently still waited for me to be ready.

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