Anyone planning or have had a home birth?

alexiamav · June 2015

I have my heart set on giving birth in the privacy & comfort of my own home. My BF on the other hand is against it & is more comfortable w/ a hospital birth. I'm working on educating him on all the benefits of birthing at home, in a safe & familiar environment. And of course there will be a backup plan for hospital transport in the event that a complication arises. In the meantime, I'm looking for advice/support from other women who have given birth outside of a hospital environment and/or women who are planning to do so for their upcoming births. Thank you for your input!!

P.S. I have no judgement against women who are planning a hospital birth, but it's just not what I want for myself, based on the information I have researched.

MorganW24 · June 2015

I had a planned home water birth 11 months ago with my first and am planning the same with this baby! You will find a few of us that have birthed at home or are planning too, we occasionally do a check in thread.

I guess my first question would be what have you been doing so far for prenatal care? If you haven't already started meeting with midwives, I would say that's a great first place to start with getting your boyfriend on board with your plan. Guys tend to be more fact, number, stats oriented (at least this has been my experience) and a midwife will have all of her stats for you when you sit down with her. Giving him a chance to see the number of healthy normal deliveries she's had vs emergent transfers should help ease his fears. She will also be able to help point you in the direction of some very helpful resources for educating him about why home birth is just as safe or safer for normal healthy pregnancies. The reality is most home birth midwives have had only a few to no emergency transfers. My midwife has been doing this for 20+'years and has never had to transfer a mama in labor for an emergency. The only she has ever transferred is because the mama just gets to exhausted from a LONG labor and needs pain relief to relax.

Giving him a chance to sit down and ask his questions with her would be the best place to start. There are a lot of misconceptions that midwives show up with a pair of scissors to cut the cord and that's it. My midwife's labor supplies caused her to make 3 trips in from her car!! Did I need most of it, no, but she is prepared for everything.

I hope you are able to have the birth you want! Home birth is an amazing thing!! Feel free to pm or tag me with any other questions you have, good luck mama!

MorganW24 · June 2015

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12569021/any-home-birth-mamas

Here is an older thread with some of the home birthers on it!

grkgdss00 · June 2015

You and your BF should sit down together and watch "the business of being born" (YouTube), perhaps that will help him see your side of things.

BostonBaby1 · June 2015

I don't have any personal experience on this, and this may not be extraordinarily helpful. However, it should be noted that Gisele gave birth in her bathtub at home. I don't know if he's into celebrity stories but you can find how wonderful she found it to be all over the Internet. It worked great for her!

blackpugmom · June 2015

I am a labor and delivery nurse and home birth can be a beautiful experience. Please make sure in your research that you include the difference in midwifery training for Certified Nurse Midwives and Lisenced Practical or Lay Midwives. This difference in education is often not properly communicated to clients and it is substantial. Best wishes to you on your journey.

Jazmine928 · June 2015

I was planning a homebirth but just found out I'm having twins. I know it's still a possibility but I'm not as comfortable with it for two. Good luck! You can do it!

jackiesue586 · June 2015

I wanted a home birth with my last baby but dh wasnt on board. We ended up compromising with a birth center water birth.
He was very impressed with it and is now okay with home birth. Im in the process of finding a home birth mw in my area but its harder than i thought.

BostonBaby1 · June 2015

Jazmine928 said:
I was planning a homebirth but just found out I'm having twins. I know it's still a possibility but I'm not as comfortable with it for two. Good luck! You can do it!

Congratulations! Double the blessings

helen76d · June 2015

I've had 3 home births and plan to birth at home again. I wouldn't have it any other way. There is a lot of great advice the other ladies gave you. I tell people that you should birth where you feel safe and comfortable. Of course as long as you don't have any risk factors for a complicated birth. Women who low risk can birth at home without complication and it is safe. Go with a recommended midwife. Do your research and interview a few. My boyfriend was a first time father with our last baby and I was so nervous he would want a hospital Birth but he was on board with a natural home birth and now he's hooked!

livebeautifully · June 2015

My husband is the one who convinced me to do a homebirth! He made me watch the business of being born and that really sparked something in me. Now I don't want anything but a homebirth and I really hope it works out.

One thing that made my husband want me to do a homebirth is that is is much cheaper for us. It's about $4000 and a hospital birth will cost us much more than that out of our pocket.

BrittanylovesEvan · June 2015

Hi! I'm new here but I'm planning on a home birth as well. My husband was really nervous about it but we went shopping around together for all kinds of different scenarios. We visited a birth center, looked online at hospitals, found articles on both, then met midwives who do home births and started looking over costs of each with different insurance. He was mainly worried about different things that could happen and what his role was. The more we talked to people who have done it the more convinced he was:) good luck!!!!

nik6499 · June 2015

I know a lot of women who have amazing home births. I agree with PP make sure you check your midwives credentials. I am pretty bias to your nurse midwives (CNM) we trained with them through our women's rotation and my goodness are they an amazing group of people.

bdough82 · June 2015

I had my first baby at home and am planning a home birth again. It is such an empowering experience. It didn't take long for my DH to jump on board as me and my two sisters were born at home and my mom was a practicing midwife specializing in home birth when I was young. I will say that if you are planning a home birth do your research. Watch birth videos, read books, and find a local Bradley method class that specializes in home birth. The Bradley method is great for men, it brings them into the birth as a participant and helps to eliminate fears. I would also recommend doing hypnobabies during pregnancy in preparation. I found the CDs relaxing when I needed to sleep and help to create protective thoughts around you since not everyone is in support of home birth. You will need your BF on board, there can be no fear coming from him during your birthing time, so work together (and get him to a Bradley method class so he can feel more comfortable with how amazing your body was created to do this without medical assistance). Best of luck, it is the most rewarding experience. I can't tell you enough how nice it is to be in control of your body and your surroundings.

lainey419 · June 2015

I had a horrible and traumatic hospital birth with my son 2.5 years ago. All of it was completely unnecessary and I ended up with a c-section. Thank God my son was healthy. I feel very strongly about having a HBAC and staying far from doctors and hospitals. I am just having a hard time finding a midwife, as they are not allowed to legally do homebirths in IL.

alexiamav · June 2015

Thanks everyone for all of your great advice!! I'm currently interviewing midwives and I found one that does water birth in a hospital as a backup plan. Several people I've spoken to have recommended "The Business of Being Born" so that's next on my to do list. I wish everyone a safe & healthy birth, no matter where it's done!

livebeautifully · June 2015

@lainey419 where in Illinois are you? I'm in IL and am doing a homebirth. And it's completely legal. My midwife is a certified nurse midwife. So it's definitely not an IL law. If you're in the Chicago area, there are a couple midwiferies that do homebirths.

lainey419 · June 2015

@livebeautifully - you're correct. I was thrinking of CPMs. I have been unable to find any midwives, including CNPs that will assist in homebirths down here. I live in central IL, over 3 hours from Chicago. I am determined to find one somehow. Wish I still lived up there right now. I hate not having options down here! It's very frustrating.

VesperLove · June 2015

No way, no how. Not going to happen. I commend any of you that can plan/go forward with this option but I just cannot do it. Maybe it's my anxiety, maybe it's the two horror stories I've experienced with family and friend, but I just don't think I could handle not being in the middle of a big hospital with every possible need/intervention at my disposal should it become necessary.

But again, I don't knock the option and commend any and all women that choose this option for themselves. I wish you all the best of luck and smooth deliveries and exactly the experience you want!

Evvi121515 · November 2015

Hi home birth ladies! I'm planning a home birth, and now that we are all getting close to the end I thought I'd see who was still planning one as well. Anyone experiencing any negativity from family? I definitely am and it stresses me out, even though I made this decision after doing a ton of research and I feel confident about it, it's difficult not having support from family. (Hubby is very on board though).

helen76d · November 2015

This is my 4th home birth (1st was a hospital transfer) and will be my 5th unmedicated birth. I choose to birth where I feel safe. While I am also a nurse and work in a great hospital I would never choose to birth in a hospital unless medically indicated. I feel safest at home and in my environment. Knowing that my choices will be honored and having a midwife that understands the birthing process is what give me the courage to birth at home. I know home birth isn't for everyone but for me it's the only way I'd want it.

helen76d · November 2015

As for negativity from family about choosing home birth..believe me it won't stop at home birth. Family's can be very optionated in every aspect of child rearing so if this is your first hang on for the ride. For myself I set limits early on with family. Ultimately it's now your family and baby your making choices for and truly no one else's business.

MorganW24 · November 2015

We are planning our 2nd home birth with a CNM. Our family expected it this pregnancy but we did get a lot of questions with our first. We didn't really get any negativity more concerns and questions as it isn't as common and some of our family thought we were nuts at first!! That being said my sister in law just delivered her first at a free standing birth center with a midwife after being here with us for our first homebirth... She was so moved by the experience and the differences from the hospital that she knew she wanted something similar. I personally can't wait to birth again in the comfort of my own home!!!

kelseyofanne · November 2015

We're planning one! One of the things I am most excited about is that my husband will be able to be part of catching the baby! Also I like the idea of being in my own space where I can get a glass of water or another pillow without having to ask for it.

Gingermom15 · November 2015

My mom had home births for my youngest three siblings. I would have loved one after seeing how calm and comfortable it was, but my insurance wouldn't cover one. At my 36 week appointment I was found to have IUGR during a routine ultrasound but my fundal height had been measuring on track. If left undiagnosed and baby makes it to term this can result in still birth. If I had chosen minimal interventions I likely would have lost my baby.
I definitely would still consider it if I am lucky enough to have another but only if I can be closely monitored throughout pregnancy. Also, do a lot of research on your mw's experience and credentials.

mj6247 · November 2015

I'm excited for our home birth (37w+1). Both of our families have been really supportive, it seems like a few friends are the only ones who have comments about it. I keep reading other's birth stories on here, and to each their own, I so look forward to being in my own home with my own stuff and my own wants for our birth

willashbaby · November 2015

I'm planning on laboring at home as long as possible and delivering in the hospital. I know there is a chance in doing this that baby might be born at home so we are prepared for the possibility.

ETA: We did take a condensed Bradley course to prepare for coping with labor and how to have as little interventions in a hospital setting as possible, the number one thing was "stay home as long as possible".

laurabwalker · November 2015

Good luck with the home births ladies! I plan to labour at home as long as possible with the help of my doula. I am hoping to be able to cope till about 6-7 cms and then going to the hospital for transition. I am trying to avoid doctors wanting to "speed up" my labour by giving me pitocin, which leads to contractions that are very hard to cope with -> epidural -> fetal heart distress -> c section. I've seen it a ton of times, and hope that I can avoid it! I am envious of your lovely home births

mrs14678 · November 2015

Our insurance is really good, so it would be very expensive to have a home birth with a midwife... Hubby is very freaked out about any kind of birth, so he is adamant that we have a hospital birth. I may try to convince him for a home birth in the next one. However, I agree with @laurabwalker.... I plan to call my mom (she's going to be acting as my "coach"/doula...whatever) as soon as I start feeling like I'm in labor, and she'll come over and wait with me til she thinks I'm close enough that we need to go to the hospital. She wanted as little medical intervention as possible too, so she understands what I want.

I am really looking forward to hearing the home birth stories!!!

LauraSmarterSpam · November 2015

I always dreamed about having a home birth. I just fell in love with my OB's office. Everyone there is amazing and my OB is fantastic.
Especially with the way things turned out with DS (in 2012). I knew I wanted to be in the hospital again for the birth of DD.

I have a girlfriend who gave birth at home, and everything went beautifully for her. My husband has a friend who him and his wife were set up for a home birth, but after laboring for 30hrs after her water broke, baby never descended into her pelvis. She had to go to the hospital for an emergency c-section.

Praying the second doesn't happen for anyone, but please don't beat yourself up if things don't go according to plan!

Edited because words are hard.

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