Close in Age...thoughts?

meghansheaodo · November 2015

Hey everyone,

So hubby and I decided we want to try for our third and final baby. We currently have a 10 month old and a 4 year old, both boys. Anyway, I am thinking I might be slighltly insane having them so close, but I want my kids to be able to bond and relate to one another and not just be siblings, but be friends. I have a huge age gap with my siblings, I am the oldest, there's 9 years between my my brothers (twins) and I and 15 years between my sister and I. Yes, we all have the same mother and father! Anyway, anyone have children so close in age? Worth it? I just feel like it's now or never for #3.

igrokthat · November 2015

FWIW I have three siblings, one of whom is close in age to me (<2 yrs apart) and two more who are 9 and 10 years younger than me. As adults, I am very close with my youngest sister who is a decade younger than me, and relate to my other two siblings very little. My brother and I who are less than two years apart have the least in common and really disliked each other for almost our entire 17 years at home together. We are friendly now, but we aren't close.

It's a crap shoot. I don't think you're dealing with a now or never situation.

Sirius37 · November 2015

maddaddam said:

FWIW I have three siblings, one of whom is close in age to me (<2 yrs apart) and two more who are 9 and 10 years younger than me. As adults, I am very close with my youngest sister who is a decade younger than me, and relate to my other two siblings very little. My brother and I who are less than two years apart have the least in common and really disliked each other for almost our entire 17 years at home together. We are friendly now, but we aren't close. It's a crap shoot. I don't think you're dealing with a now or never situation.

I agree about the whole thing being a crap shoot as my family is a similar situation. I have a sister who is 9 years older that I wasn't too close with until I was about 18 or so. I have a sister who is 18 months younger than me (we were best friends until she hit age 15; we still get along, but it takes more effort), a brother who is 9 years younger and a sister who is 13 years younger than me and I'm close with both of them. It really just depends on the personalities and life events, I think. I will say I enjoyed having siblings to play with growing up though.

phranic · November 2015

my sister and I are 11 months apart . we are super close but we are almost the exact opposite in most every aspect.

my kids are 1 1/2 years apart . 11 months apart then almost 8 years apart . I have found the older 3 being close in age is nice because they always have someone to play with , but "the big 3 "as i call them being a bigger age gap with the baby is really helpful. they keep the baby occupied while i do stuff like laundry or dishes and it is nice to have 3 extra pairs of eyes .

Skyjewell23 · November 2015

I have a little sister who is almost 4 years younger than me and we are very close. We are timing our TTC to make DS and the new baby roughly 3 1/2- 4 years apart. I like that age gap. If we decide to have a third we will probably try for the same age gap.

Knottie1442268460 · November 2015

I'm caring for kids 15 mos apart. The baby stage is ROUGH.

MonaLisaRalphio · November 2015

Baby'smom said:

I'm caring for kids 15 mos apart. The baby stage is ROUGH.

My sister and I are 16 months apart, and my mom always says that she barely remembers my sister's first year. Let me tell you, though: growing up that close in age was AWESOME. We are quite different from one another, and have been since adolescence, but having that built-in teammate during childhood was amazing.

igrokthat · November 2015

Baby'smom said:

My sister and I are 16 months apart, and my mom always says that she barely remembers my sister's first year. Let me tell you, though: growing up that close in age was AWESOME. We are quite different from one another, and have been since adolescence, but having that built-in teammate during childhood was amazing.

I will just add here that, at that age, your kids might end up with a built in enemy (like my brother and I did) rather than a built in teammate. Both can happen. Closeness and bonding can be better with siblings close in age, but annoyances and rivalries can be worse, too.

I would guess that friendly siblings are more likely, kust keep in mind that if you choose your timing based on this alone, there's a legit chance your kids may not end up getting along.

NiceyMeany · November 2015

maddaddam said:

Baby'smom said:

My sister and I are 16 months apart, and my mom always says that she barely remembers my sister's first year. Let me tell you, though: growing up that close in age was AWESOME. We are quite different from one another, and have been since adolescence, but having that built-in teammate during childhood was amazing.

I will just add here that, at that age, your kids might end up with a built in enemy (like my brother and I did) rather than a built in teammate. Both can happen. Closeness and bonding can be better with siblings close in age, but annoyances and rivalries can be worse, too.

I would guess that friendly siblings are more likely, kust keep in mind that if you choose your timing based on this alone, there's a legit chance your kids may not end up getting along.

I think that the second part here is really great advice. My sister and I traded being allies and enemies on a moment-to-moment basis, as I imagine most siblings do. But choosing timing solely based on the age difference would put a lot of undue pressure on the older child, which might lead to unnecessary rivalries.

lovesclimbing · November 2015

My older sister and I are almost exactly how your kids would be if you conceived right now - we're 20 months apart. The rest of our sibs are all about 2 years apart. My H and his siblings are all about 1.5-2 yrs apart. I'm a huge fan of close together siblings, and H and I hope to space our kids about two years or so apart.

SLou24 · November 2015

Honestly I agree with some posters above.. it's a total crapshoot. My sister and I are about 2 years apart, and we couldn't be more different. We never got along when we were younger, and now we're friendly but I wouldn't call us friends by any stretch of the word. I say go for it whenever you're ready, not to try to plan the perfect sibling relationship, since you never know what may happen between the two of them!

cherith104 · November 2015

It's totally up to you and your hubby! (:
I want three children. This will be me and my husbands first baby and I want to wait about 5-7 years to have the second. My hubby isn't on board with that decision because him and his younger sister are a little over a year apart but whenever the time comes for us to talk about another baby, we'll have to compromise on something which will be hard because we're both very stubborn. Lol. But the decision is what you and your husband prefer. (:

onechoctawgirl · November 2015

My sister and I are less than a year apart and very close. My mother said the very first year or two was a bit tough, but then quickly we became a source of entertainment for each other and it actually made life much easier on her.

But really I don't think there is really a right or wrong answer here.It's the sort of thing no one should feel they have to avoid if the idea doesn't frighten them, but if it does cause concern go ahead and wait a bit.I would say for you if you feel ready to have another baby go for it.

Want a personalized experience?

Close in Age...thoughts?

Re: Close in Age...thoughts?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards