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My baby hates me

zetlopezzetlopez member
edited November 2015 in October 2015 Moms
My 5 week old started acting colicky around 3 weeks. It was very frustrating. I finally decided to try fixing him some formula this past Tuesday in case he was allergic to something I was eating. My mom came over for a bit so I could grocery shop. He was like a whole new baby. Before his waking hours were full of tears. Tuesday he was happy and alert.

Wednesday he would wake up screaming, but was at least allowed me to soothe him. I thought maybe there was something wrong with his privates bc he screamed when he wet his diaper, which he never did.

Yesterday I took DH to a dr appt and left LO with my mom. He was completely calm for her. I came home, he was sitting in his swing awake and happy and my mom had cleaned most of the house.
I thought my happy baby was back. An hour after she leaves he starts fussing. I can calm him, but only by putting him to sleep. I'm starting to notice that he is calm for my mom, but for me all I get is screaming. I don't know what's going on. I'm starting to feel like either I'm a horrible mom bc I can't keep him happy while awake or that my baby just hates me.

Anyone else have something similar happen or have any idea why he'd be calm for my mom and not me?

Sorry for the long post.

ETA: paragraphs
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Re: My baby hates me

  • KLHauck12KLHauck12 member
    Are you stressed when you are around baby? My LO has been struggling with digestive issues and we've been trying to find the right formula. It's caused her to be very fussy at times. Being the one primarily home with her, it gets very overwhelming. I found myself getting very anxious and I feel sick to my stomach when she starts crying and I can't get her to stop. Babies can pick up on that stress and anxiety that you are feeling and react to it. Your mom gets to enjoy baby and then go home...but we know that unless someone comes to give us a break, it will continue on. So I think it's more overwhelming when they are fussy because we have to keep dealing with it. Baby is probably reacting to that. Kids pick up on our vibes and respond to it....and they will continue to as they learn to look to us for clues as to how they should respond to a situation. And later when they are older they often act better for others than they do with their parents (not relevant right now but it's good to know about) because they feel safe and secure with you to test limits.
    It's going to be hard but we might need to practice appearing calm to try to keep them calm. And that might mean taking necessary breaks to recharge.
    Don't worry Mama! Your baby does not hate you! Your baby loves and needs you! Don't be so hard on yourself! This is a hard time with a newborn....but you will get through it!
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  • basdenjn6basdenjn6 member
    Your baby doesn't hate you! I agree with previous poster. I haven't had the exact same thing but one night when baby was super gassy and I was afraid something more was going on my mom could tell I was anxious and came by to help and she had him swaddled, rocked and calm in 10 minutes after I had tried for two hours. Our moms are pros- we'll get there. You're doing fine, just try to calm little as best you can and keep yourself as calm as possible. Two things to remember: you're doing great, and this stage doesn't last long!
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  • TelebellTelebell member
    Sometimes I think a scenery change is all they're looking for. My baby will sometimes cry a lot with me or DH or our nanny, but as soon as someone else takes over, she settles.
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  • cbolton19cbolton19 member
    It's ok! Like everyone else said, your baby doesn't hate you! Maybe a little time to yourself (a massage, nap, reading, something for you) to relax would help you de-stress a little and then you can re-focus on baby without being as upset. You're doing great, just don't forget about taking care of you too.
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  • Rgriffin91Rgriffin91 member
    I've felt the same way before. I'll get overwhelmed and my grandmother-in-law will take DD so I can step away for a moment and get some sanity. By the time I'm back, DD is smiling in her sleep. Well, if I stay up and watch her handle DD for a little bit, I see that baby gives her a hard time, too! It gave me a little more confidence in myself when I saw that DD didn't just cry nonstop for me--a little bit of timing plays a part.
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  • zetlopezzetlopez member
    Thanks all. I do feel better after reading your responses. I try to keep a smile on my face, but baby might be picking up on my anxious vibes. I think you may be right about timing. Next time my mom babysits I'll pay attention to what she does and how baby reacts.
    Report Reply
  • indylardelliindylardelli member
    my baby cries when he's with me sometimes but it's because he can smell me and my milk and just wants to comfort suck but won't cry being held by anyone else
    Report Reply
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