Baby Blues But No Baby Yet.

BaugherMommy · November 2015

So, I need help from any moms that have been feeling this way. I've been really down in the dumps for 2 weeks now. I'm only 10 weeks and 2 days and this is my first baby. I've always struggled with depression so this worries me because it seems to have gotten worse. I talked to my doctor but all he did was give me a long speech about how if I ' don't feel like the baby is a blessing; it is' . Well DUH, I'm completely in love with this baby but it just seems I can't quit stressing out about the future, and I've had self-esteem issues. I can barely get out of bed every day, and I am just so sad. I've never been on medication for depression, and I'm scared to start; especially now.(which my doctor is suggesting) Is it just hormones? Will this end? Advice?

totsabounding · November 2015

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't really have advice...but I just wanted to say I'm sorry your doctor was less than helpful. I wonder if you might consider switching to another doctor who has more experience treating women who suffer from depression during pregnancy. Hormones certainly ARE crazy right now, but if you feel like it's something more and you're really struggling (as it sounds like you are), I think it would be good to consider a second opinion and really hash out the risks vs. the benefits of medication. Creepy internet hugs to you. Keep us posted on how you're doing.

fishwife799 · November 2015

I agree that maybe you need to seek out a doctor who is a little more understanding of your feelings and has experience with pregnant women who have depression. It's a real thing and a serious one at that. Really look at the pros and cons of anti depressants during pregnancy and make the right choice for you. Don't ever feel like you ah e done something wrong if you need help either. I hope you can get things straightened out and get to a better place.

mom2beEbby · November 2015

BaugherMommy said:

So, I need help from any moms that have been feeling this way. I've been really down in the dumps for 2 weeks now. I'm only 10 weeks and 2 days and this is my first baby. I've always struggled with depression so this worries me because it seems to have gotten worse. I talked to my doctor but all he did was give me a long speech about how if I ' don't feel like the baby is a blessing; it is' . Well DUH, I'm completely in love with this baby but it just seems I can't quit stressing out about the future, and I've had self-esteem issues. I can barely get out of bed every day, and I am just so sad. I've never been on medication for depression, and I'm scared to start; especially now.(which my doctor is suggesting) Is it just hormones? Will this end? Advice?

I absolutely feel you on all of this. I have been down since the day I found out that I was pregnant, and I am 11 weeks 5 days now. I don’t have any advice because I am struggling every day. I will keep you in my prayers that it will get better for us both!

Knottie86418473 · November 2015

Your doctor is awful! You went to him for help and all you got was a lecture on how your feelings are wrong? Unacceptable - you're paying him, not the other way around.

Like others, I'd suggest finding a new doctor who has experience with pregnancy and mood disorders (or at least one who's not a completely insensitive a-hole). I know the effort to do that might seem impossible right now but maybe ask your MW/OB for recommendations or ask a friend to help you research a new one.

I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years and my doctor told me it can get better, worse or stay the same during pregnancy. Getting a doctor with the right experience can help you throughout the rest of your pregnancy and after. The 'after' will be very important because, as you probably already know, women who have suffered depression are much more likely to suffer post-partum depression.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Good luck to you and I wish you (and LO) all the best!

almostpriceless · November 2015

My dr has me seeing a therapist who specializes in pregnant and post-partum women for this reason. We are currently doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, in an attempt to avoid medication. It's actually working quite well. Maybe this is something you could look into.

Emztron500 · November 2015

What a terrible response from your doctor! Is he aware of your history of depression? Prenatal depression is a thing and it can be very serious. Good for you for recognizing that it's becoming an issue for you. Definitely seek out therapy if at all possible (it was very beneficial to me during my last pregnancy) and know that there are safe medication options during pregnancy. Hope you have better luck finding the help that you need.

Scout27 · November 2015

I would absolutely be looking for another doctor, if I was you. Not only was he not supportive but his comments are condescending and irresponsible, IMO. Essentially telling someone who may be suffering from depression that their feelings are invalid or wrong is cruel and lacks understanding of how depression works.

As for medication, you could try therapy first and see if that helps. I've suffered from depression and anxiety on and off for many years. I was on medication about 15 years ago in tandem with therapy which was great. And about 7 years ago when I felt like the depression was returning I went to therapy alone and found wonderful results. A therapist who specializes in pregnant women would be a good place to start.

I'm sorry you're going through this!

NicknShan · November 2015

This doctor blows.

Have you ever been on medication for depression? Are you still taking it? My doctor always said that depression and anxiety on the baby is worse than any Class C medication (the class most common anti-anxiety meds are).

I would consider switching doctors, and talk to one that cares more about your health. I struggle with anxiety, and hormones just bring that to an entirely new level. It is important to monitor, and it is important for your health care provider to understand your history, because women with a history of depression and anxiety are at a higher risk for PPD.

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I can relate. And I am here to chat if you ever need it.

BlackAndGold09 · November 2015

My depression has gotten worse as well. The last 2 weeks have been hard. Prior to getting pregnant I was on depression meds and xanax. I have a history with depression for the last 11 years. My job is super stressful and money is more than tight at home right now. I've cried at work which I never do and had to pull over on my drive home because I was sobbing. Hormones can be a b*tch. I'm sorry you are going through this, just know you aren't alone.

arosemong · November 2015

I feel the same way! I go to my first appt tomorrow & plan on mentioning it to dr. I feel anxiety & just in a general fog of sadness. Keep us posted on if you find a new doctor. You deserve better ❤️

catherinekate · November 2015

I'm so very sorry to hear this and I send my love and thoughts to all you other ladies. I feel like I could have written this post. I was so excited for... a couple of days and now I'm wallowing in a ball of anxiety and sadness. I am trying to get through my first trimester without taking anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication, but it's hard. I'm disappointed with myself that I don't love being pregnant or that I can't get out of my funk to truly celebrate. I don't know if you journal but I do sometimes (mostly to track symptoms) and I've been finding that it helps. I also strongly recommend cognitive behaviour therapy if it's available in your area. And of course, as others have said, get a new doctor! What a horrible thing to say to any pregnant woman--let alone an anxious one. If you ever need to talk, send me a PM. Thinking of you!

ashleyrobertson0113 · November 2015

I'm a FTM who is struggling with bipolar depression so I can definitely empathize with the way you're feeling. I love my Little One more than anything in the world, but between the extreme morning sickness and the depression most days it's a fight to roll out of bed. Unfortunately I don't have much help to offer as I'm still struggling through it myself. But I do agree with other PPs that you should look for a more supportive and helpful doctor!! ((Hugs)) praying for you!

BaugherMommy · November 2015

Thank-you everyone, so much, for your kind words and support.

I am planning on more than likely changing my doctor in the near future (if possible). I broke down and started crying to my fiance and he really got worried and suggested counseling. No one realized how I've been really feeling about myself. He said he'll even go with me but he will find me some type of help and a new doctor. (He didn't like mine to begin with) . If any of you need to talk or have an update on your feelings let me know!

PBear93 · November 2015

I am taking a class B antidepressant and plan to take it throughout my pregnancy as well as a class C mood stabilizer that I am trying to wean off with my doctors supervision. I've struggled with bipolar depression for years and taking meds helps keep me stable.
I would start with finding a new doctor and a therapist--and check out a few different therapists to find one you really click with--you need to feel comfortable with them and be able to trust them.
Please let me know if you want to talk/vent. I know what you are going through--my last pregnancy was really bad.
And on a happier note, my doctor told me the 2nd trimester is often the best mood-wise.

trythebleucheese · November 2015

It is NOT just hormones, and I'm sorry your doctor is an ass. I, too, suffer from depression and my OB decided it was best for me to stay on my SSRI. When I quit just after finding out I was pregnant, I was so freaking down in the dumps, that I wondered how I was going to make it. OB said the risks of me not being medicated and stressing out incessantly outweighed any possible side effects, if any. I'm on 10mg of Lexapro. I think you should maybe seek a 2nd opinion, because the stress of having such anxiety and depression can actually cause serious problems with the pregnancy.

That being said, I can completely sympathize with you. The hormones certainly don't help matters, but at least know that this is temporary. That might give you a little relief. Though, I know how hard it is to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We can do it! Let's take lots of walks and surround ourselves with people we can't vent to and love us unconditionally and make it!

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