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April 2016 Moms
unexpectedbaby1
member
How do you handle Childish in-laws during a high risk pregnancy?!
unexpectedbaby1
member
My pregnancy is high risk due to a heart valve abnormality and connective-tissue problem. It can cause many issues during pregnancy and labor, even after labor I won't be completely in the clear, I may even have to deliver the baby early. My boyfriend, my parents and I have been pretty distraught and stressed out about this news. My boyfriend and I sat down and talked about the what to do on the day I deliver, we made a plan of what we would like to do at hospital, we both feel like the best choice is to I have nobody at the hospital other my bf and I. After talking to my doctor she felt the same way and said "The less stress on your heart is best for baby and you, the more people involved is more stress and that's not okay!" Until we are know everything is fine with myslef and the baby the day of delivery it's only going to be my bf and I. We set up a meeting with his mom we asked her if only she would come, but like always she didn't listen.. She brought her sister inlaw and my bf's grandmother, we wanted it to be one on one since it's a difficult situation but nope we had to tell everyone what was going on. I started explaining how bad my heart condition is and how it can get worst as the pregnancy goes on as well as howinabor will be. They completely blew me off and tried one up me like it was a companion of some sorts. I was on the verge of tears and all they did was ignore everything I was trying to saying, my mom and boyfriend jumped in at points. We went on to tell them how I can't have stress and how dangerous for someone in my situation. They again ignored us, then we told them how we don't anyone at the hospital the day I deliver. We want to just get through the day and meet our baby with as little stress as possible. It's going to be one of the most stressful days of our lives and that we have a chance of me losing my life possibly or I would need heart surgery worst case scenario. I don't want my bf having to run back and forth giving them updated on top of everything else that will be going on, his gonna be stressing a lot about me and the baby. They just said it's fine, just do a c-section! A c-sention won't make my heart condition go away and the extra blood volume is what makes the biggest problem. "They just said oh well." I never felt so disrespected in my life, I was sitting there poor my heart out with fear of losing my life and all they could do is one up me or completely ignore me?! Finally the visit ended and of course his mom didn't acknowledge me like aways but touch my stomach after I told her it makes me feel uncomfortable after all the stomach problems/surgeries I've had as a teenager. They finally left, my boyfriend and I were so mad that they acted so damn childish. We're used to it but being that way about something so seriously is beyond disrespectful and hurtful to us and our unborn child! Later on during the week they started trying to bully my bf into changing his mind and told him to talk to me about having them at the hospital apparently they no better then my doctor's, and they feel they have as many right as my boyfriend and I?! How do I deal with people like this? What would you do?
Re: How do you handle Childish in-laws during a high risk pregnancy?!
Unfortunately you don't control them or their choices. If it gets bad enough, I'd completely cut them off for a while. Your safety and health is not worth appeasing them.
My suggestion would be to not tell them when you deliver. If they can't be reasonable, you can call them after the baby arrives and you feel comfortable. Or, like PP said, blame hospital policy.
I agree, don't tell them when you go in to deliver. Make sure the nurses are on the same page with you and the DRs about not letting anyone else in the room, they WILL be the bad guy for you.
I wouldn't discuss this with them again, and if they feel the need to keep talking about it, let BF handle it.
One question, IF something happens to you, do you have a plan in place for BF? HE may need the extra support.
Also, since you're not married, make sure you look into the legalities of BF making medical calls for you.
Wait, I am confused. Your doctor and yourself decided to only have you and bf in the hospital, correct? And then you went and invited his mother? Why?
Just don't call until after the baby is born and everyone has been checks by the doctor.
**** Formerly Snoflakes4eva****