Feeling inadequate(Bad future mama)

mom2beEbby · November 2015

So, I feel totally incompetent and unfit to be a parent. I am a FTM and 27 years old. I was told that I could never have children and went through life believing that. Then, suddenly, I was pregnant. I had always wanted to have children so this should be the best time of my life. NOT!! I was told to drink lets of water, but I can only stomach ginger ale. I was told to make sure Im eating and snacking throughout the day, but I can barely eat 1 time a day. I was told include fruits daily, but they wont stay down. On top of all of that, Im always sick and tired. I think the baby hates me with a passion. Im back and forth to the hospital and just feel like Im dying.

The beauty of all of this is that my 19 year old sister is pregnant too and she is doing everything right. She is bouncing around taking baby bump pics and really enjoying the moment. I cant even keep prenatal vitamins down. I feel like im failing this baby and not giving it a fair chance at being healthy. My other sister is 24 and in the past 5 years she has had 2 successful, easy, beautiful pregnancies. I just feel like this is for everyone but me. I see no light at the end of the tunnel...

ella26 · November 2015

Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. Luckily this time will pass and hopefully you will start to feel better in your second tri.

I can relate a little to how you are feeling. I worked out and ate really well until I got pregnant and the MS hit. Now I eat way less healthy and can barley get any exercise in. I feel like I should be even more healthy since the baby is depending on me but I just can't stomach the kale and salmon I used to eat. Try to be easy on yourself, every pregnancy is different. I keep telling myself that I will be back to being miss healthy pants in few weeks.

CopperLane · November 2015

I feel the same. I'm 27 next week, a FTM, and I've been STRUGGLING this first tri. You need to be eating and drinking what you can keep down, my midwife told me that the most important thing right now is water and calories. Have you tried sliced ginger root in cold or hot water? What about carbonated water, like la croix? I have been having a tough time with water, so I've been adding slices of ginger root and lemon juice. For me, the constant feeling of being sick takes my mind to bad places, like I'll be a bad mom and I can't do this.

I think once you hit the second trimester and start feeling better, your whole outlook will change. Hang in there and take this stage day by day. Try not to add worry to these horrible feelings of morning sickness. If you feel really bad, sleep. I've slept through and entire weekend just because I couldn't deal. It helped.

You'll be a great mom!!!!

mom2beEbby · November 2015

ella26

Thanks so much. Im trying not to be hard on myself. I just feel like I should be great at this. Im not 15 and its something I always wanted. I should be winning but this baby kicks my butt.LOL. Good luck to you.

goldie987 · November 2015

I'm not going to say don't listen to your doctor but my doctor basically told me to get down whatever I can manage because when everything is coming back up, calories matter more than nutrients (I've also lost nearly 10 lbs which could be behind that). For the prenatals, I've heard people have more success with gummies sitting well, you don't NEED the extra iron until partway through 2nd trimester and its better to get some nutrients down early on.

You arent alone, I haven't been walking as much as I am supposed to or eating as much fruits and vegetables as I am supposed to but the doctor said the baby is growing well and to do what I can do and add the rest in later as I feel better.

mom2beEbby · November 2015

CopperLane I haven’t tried any of that with the water. I definitely will this weekend. Thank you! Im googling where to purchase it now. J I hope it gets easier for both of us.

catherinekate · November 2015

A lot of people have said that your first trimester is all about survival mode -- you just gotta do what you can. And feeling crappy and resentful is in no way a reflection of what kind of mother you'll be. Hang in there.

VikingGirl12 · November 2015

How many weeks are you? This is all so very common during the first trimester. I basically want to hide in my bed until second tri. I've read people on here say their drs told them to eat whatever they can first trimester, and clean up second trimester with healthy foods. Your goal right now is to get trough the next few weeks!
This pregnancy has been a lot worse for me than my first (Im 26) and I told my mom jokingly "it has to be a boy because a sweet little girl could never put me through this!!!!" She laughed and said I was the worst of her four children (only girl). The baby doesn't hate you, it just has a big job to do and is using your body to do it. If anything you're the opposite- amazing for letting your baby take advantage of your body. We are all troopers for getting through the first trimester the best we can!
You'll feel better soon, I promise

adiaz132003 · November 2015

Every pregnancy is different. I always thought I'd work all the way through and be really happy about it and then I ended up out of work by 6 weeks because of my HG. I'm just now in my 12th week and just starting to feel better. This will pass and you'll be able to eat again I promise. The first tri I'm told can be the hardest. Between dealing with emotions and the crazy changes we are going through and feeling sick all the time, it takes its toll on us. We are with you girl!! Your baby will adore you!

mom2beEbby · November 2015

Im 11 weeks, I’ll be 12 on Friday. Im glad to hear you all say to just eat what I can. Its so hard. Im fighting depression with this big time, but this community of mama’s is helping me so much! You guys just don’t know how much you are keeping me grounded and I just joined!! Thanks LADIES!

Atlast111 · November 2015

This is completely normal! I used to gym it 5 times a week and eat nothing but freshly cooked veg and lean meats! Now I lay on the sofa like Jabba the Hut eating cereal, mash potato and toasted cheese sandwiches as veg and chicken disgusts me. Do I care.....no. The baby will get everything it needs from you and the prenatal vitamins. Chin up Mama.....it will get easier!

Lyette1206 · November 2015

I built my first baby on cheese and bread because that's all I could stomach. Lost 10lbs until 14 weeks. Lost 5lbs this time so far. Routinely feel like early pregnancy is kicking my butt. I realized last time that I'm just one of those women who have a hard time. I understand feeling bad, but literally the second trimester was so easy for me. Your break will *hopefully* come soon!!

chelseay416 · November 2015

See if your doc is cool with you trying the gummy prenatals - that's what I use now and my doc was totally okay with it since they generally don't contribute to the nausea. Ginger ale is my BEST friend - usually the first thing I get down in the morning. After that, I eat whatever sounds good - tried to stomach some veggies yesterday and didn't make it through more than 4 pieces of broccoli. The nausea is starting to ease up as well as the fatigue, so maybe I'll actually keep those veggies down and work out a little bit? Right now, I feel like I'm making my child a fat kid in the womb :-\

SoEnamored · November 2015

Morning sickness doesn't discriminate - just think, Kate Middleton had it so bad it was that nauseum gravardium (sp)! Sickness is actually so common, a good sign in pregnancy and those who have morning sickness (ok, it's all day sickness) usually have better outcomes of the pregnancy. I've also read that your body's resistance fruits and veggies can stem from some sort of cave-woman like instinct to not eat things that could potentially be harmful. Drink and eat what you can but really focus on getting fluids. Don't beat yourself up over this. You don't have to love pregnancy to love your baby or to love being a mom. And, if depression is crusing your spirit, I hope you have resources you will tap into for help.

goldie987 · November 2015

chelseay416 said:
Right now, I feel like I'm making my child a fat kid in the womb :-\

Tell me about it! My primary "nutrition" this weekend was cool ranch doritos and tortilla chips with a side of ben and jerry's. Ooops.

KaylaR628 · November 2015

Atlast111 said:
This is completely normal! I used to gym it 5 times a week and eat nothing but freshly cooked veg and lean meats! Now I lay on the sofa like Jabba the Hut eating cereal, mash potato and toasted cheese sandwiches as veg and chicken disgusts me. Do I care.....no. The baby will get everything it needs from you and the prenatal vitamins. Chin up Mama.....it will get easier!

This. Except my go to has been French fries and McDonald's breakfast sandwiches! Dont worry, OP, my Dr. has also said to eat what you can and rest! I expected to have an easier go because my mom and sisters did, but I'm just trying to listen to my body and do what I can. Hopefully we'll be through the worst soon.

PressLove · November 2015

I was like your 19 YO sister my first pregnancy and like you this pregnancy. It happens! Plus, I've noticed that my friends that had the most gyn problems pre-PG, are having the most MS since becoming PG. You'll be a great mom as soon as you feel better.

chelseay416 · November 2015

@Sgoldberg247 dah ben and jerry's phish food has been my JAM the last two weeks.

mdargie · November 2015

Phish food is the best!! With my first pg I felt awesome and loved it. This one is kicking my @ss. Have been so nauseous, food aversions, and exhausted. Also super grumpy. I'm praying the second tri will bring some relief!

Want a personalized experience?

Feeling inadequate(Bad future mama)

Re: Feeling inadequate(Bad future mama)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards