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Okay to give up?

doodleoodledoodleoodle member
in Breastfeeding
My baby is EBF and is 2 1/2 weeks old. We've had a lot of trouble with nursing. For the first week of her life she had a tongue tie and as a result it would take 20-30 minutes, sometimes even longer, to get her to latch. My nipples also became bruised, cracked and bloody. After her tongue was clipped she started latching immediately. I was so relieved. I began to feel a little better. Then, the pain came back in full force a week later and I actually noticed a chunk of my nipple was missing. My OB prescribed a compound ointment that consisted of antibacterial, an anti fungal, and a steroid. After a couple of days I felt so much better. This morning though I have felt the worst that I ever felt. I was literally balling my eyes out as I fed my baby. She keeps latching and re latching. I'm now in so much pain, even between feelings. The air even hurts. I'm so tempted to just let my nipples heal and give her formula. My husband is adamant that I continue nursing. I told him that he isn't being fair to me, but he's insisting that I continue on saying he's looking out for baby's best interest. I feel awful enough as it is and I really don't need this from him. Is he right? Am I being selfish to want to give up nursing or do the benefits no longer outweigh the cost?
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Re: Okay to give up?

  • baby2teamsbaby2teams member
    I would get checked for thrush. I've had a rough go this time with similar issues, to add in mastitis and thrush. We are going to ent tomorrow to check for tongue tie. And the chunk missing is a fissure (I have those too). All that being said, I still love nursing and plan to continue. But it is not for everyone. I know with my first it took us almost 6 weeks to get good. And then we made it 16 mths. Whatever you do, you'll feed your child and he/she will be fine. You are not being selfish. Your health is important too.

    But if you really do want to try to continue I'm serious about the thrush, sounds exactly what I'm going through currently and was just diagnosed. If you get treated I hear it can clear up fairly quickly.
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  • valerie1132valerie1132 member
    Would it hurt less to pump? You may not want to try bottle feeding yet but you could try cup feeding? I know the nipple pain from thrush can be horrible, but once the latch is good and you start to heal it will improve! Also try Medela nipple softshells! They are for use in between feedings to allow your nipples to heal without touching your bra or nipple pads, they did wonders for me! If you can grin and bear it, keep it up! By daughter is two and a half months old, and I'd say it took until 6 weeks before I felt like we knew what we were doing.
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  • NurseRiegerNurseRieger member
    valerie1132 said:

    Would it hurt less to pump? You may not want to try bottle feeding yet but you could try cup feeding? I know the nipple pain from thrush can be horrible, but once the latch is good and you start to heal it will improve! Also try Medela nipple softshells! They are for use in between feedings to allow your nipples to heal without touching your bra or nipple pads, they did wonders for me! If you can grin and bear it, keep it up! By daughter is two and a half months old, and I'd say it took until 6 weeks before I felt like we knew what we were doing.

    Great ideas.
    Sorry you're off to a rough start. Maybe pumping would be less painful and would still be giving baby breastmilk. It is really hard to exclusively pump but some moms make it work and formula supplementing isn't bad if it helps you continue. Breast is best but not if it's making the mom miserable. If you can't work through the issue with the cream and pumping doesn't help, just know you did your best. As for your husband offer him a titty-twist and see if he wants that every 2-3 hours. My husband was a little upset when I said I was going to formula supplement at 6 weeks but I told him I just couldn't take it. We use Similac non-GMO so he feels better about it and so do I. Ultimately it is the mom's decision on how to feed the baby. Good luck!
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  • klirwin82klirwin82 member
    I'll add that it took us longer - a good 8 weeks to get BFing down and 10 weeks before it was actually not something I dreaded. See your doctor for thrush, pump til it's treated if it feels better than LO latching, and stick with BFing if you feel like it's something you had wanted to do.

    Everyone says don't quit on your worst day and it's totally true.

    Also, ignore your husband. Happy mommy equals happy baby!
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  • beanie1977beanie1977 member
    Check out a blog called fearless formula feeders. I had to give up (for different reasons) and felt a ton of guilt and shame. The stories on the blog helped.
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  • doodleoodledoodleoodle member
    Thank you for the advice! I did try pumping, but it honestly hurt worse than nursing and my nipples are so damaged that it looked like I was just pumping out blood. I'll try the shells and make another appointment so that we can both get checked for thrush.

    @NurseRieger definitely waking my husband up with a 10 minute titty twister... On each side lol
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  • doodleoodledoodleoodle member
    I just wanted to follow up to say that nipple shields are awesome. My OB suggested I get one to give my nipples a chance to heal. I'm currently nursing pain free! I'm so excited!
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  • rachswirachswi member
    Haha I was going to suggest nipple shields. I just got one 2 days ago ( one nipple is flat the other was bleeding), and BFing is going so much more smoothly
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  • chelseaepleychelseaepley member
    My lo is nipple confused because I pumped and gave him bottles. I just bought a shield and I'm trying it today. But try coconut oil. My nipples were terrible. I would feed my lo and I would see blood coming out of the corners of his mouth! So I Googled and found coconut oil helps. When you're done feeding let some breastmilk dry on your nipples and put coconut oil on them. Mine healed this way in about 2 days! Still breastfed while doing this.
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  • RNmommy13RNmommy13 member
    The unlatching thing could be a sign of thrush. But no you are not selfish at all. He is not spending the time and stress you are trying to feed your child. Formula fed babies are just fine. My son was bf for 5 months and formula for 6 and he is healthier then his cousin that was ebf for 14 months. You just need to be ok with your choice. I hope things work out for the best for your family, whatever that ends up being
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  • MusicEBA22MusicEBA22 member
    Nipple shields are wonderful!!! We've had to use them since LO was 5 days old (now 9 weeks old) because no matter what we do, she flattens my nipples and makes them bleed.
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  • malittamaymalittamay member
    I take a feeding off nursing and just pump to give my nipples a bit of a break about twice a day...but I am now having issues with my milk supply not being enough for my sweet 3 week old baby boy...so I have had to start using formula and its weighing extremely heavily on me because I really want to only use breast milk...so I definitely understand the pain and frustration andwanting to quit...
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  • doodleoodledoodleoodle member
    malittamay said:

    I take a feeding off nursing and just pump to give my nipples a bit of a break about twice a day...but I am now having issues with my milk supply not being enough for my sweet 3 week old baby boy...so I have had to start using formula and its weighing extremely heavily on me because I really want to only use breast milk...so I definitely understand the pain and frustration andwanting to quit...

    I'm sorry that you're having trouble too! I can't believe nursing is so hard. No one ever talks about it.
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  • NurseRiegerNurseRieger member
    I swear they sell us on all the benefits of breastfeeding but no one talks about the cons until after you've been at it. I still feel it's best for baby but it is hard even for moms who don't have trouble with it.
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