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October 2015 Moms
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Annoyed with my SO

beanie1977beanie1977 member
in October 2015 Moms
I'm a new SAHM and love it, but am also exhausted. My wife is back at work, and works long days. She leaves at 5 and gets home between 6 and 7:30 depending on if she works overtime.

Since she is waking at 4, we go to bed early. Between 8:30 and 9:30 usually. She has about an hour a day with out LO. I try to have her feed him and help but she has NO confidence and will divert to me the second she doesn't know something (even logical stuff.) I still end up doing 90% of the work when she's home plus I do everything in the MOTN unless she goes to get a bottle, but then she's back to sleep.

The worst is that she holds him for like 5 minutes and says her back hurts. I'm super annoyed about the back thing. I swear she gained more weight while I was pregnant than me. I haven't said ANYTHING and won't but it's frustrating that now she has this back pain and can't help me. I'm starting to not feel attracted anymore, but that could also be postpartum hormones.

She Loves our baby dearly and cuddles and snuggles him. However I would like help with the changing and feeding and she isn't as strong in that.

I had a c section and she was an awesome caregiver to me postpartum and I couldn't have asked for better. She's been super supportive and tells me I'm a great mom. I just feel bad that I have so much resentment. I just wish she were better with helping out and caring for him. I'm so tired and just need a hand.

Anyone else in this boat?
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Re: Annoyed with my SO

  • whitemn04whitemn04 member
    My husband helps when he's home and awake but he's almost non existent during the night. I get he's working and what not but getting up to console LO after I just fed and changed him and put him back to bed would help. Once I get a little more milk stock built up I'm going to start having a bottle ready for him to feed at least once in the night. He too struggles with doing certain things like giving a bath or making a decision on his own. He always asks me what he needs to do. I finally just made him give a bath. I was there to offer suggestions but did not physically help him. I had to learn it too and didn't have his help. They need to learn to trust their instincts. So what I do is ask what he thinks needs to be done so at least he thinks for himself and is getting better. I really worry for when he's home alone with DS when I go back to work. I know he can do it, he just lacks confidence in himself and that's why I just make him do things. It was trial and error for me too.
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  • jcra7212jcra7212 member
    Omg the back thing! My hubs is military and thinks he hurt it working out. He literally will start feeding the baby then say his back hurts and hands her off. He's a great dad but holy cow my back hurts too from the constant feeding, rocking, bouncing and walking I do all day and night with DD.
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