Newbie Introduction

jamaicanqt · November 2015

Hi everyone! I'm so glad this community is here because I'm a bit overwhelmed by all that we have going on (and not going on) right now. My husband and I have been together 4+ years are married almost 2 years. He is 40 and I am 39. Neither of us have any children or have made any children to date. We've been trying to conceive for 13 months. My primary care physician referred us to a Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility specialist. My husband and I have done what feels like boatloads of tests. We found out last week that my husband's tests are all pretty good (morphology is on the low end of the good range). Based on my tests so far the doctor thinks I'm not ovulating regularly. He wants me to come back on the 3rd day of my cycle to have an ultrasound to check my follicles. What does this even mean?

At our last appointment the doctor started talking about prescribing me Clomid and some injection booster medication as well. He would like to start the insemination process asap. My husband and I are on the same page regarding the Clomid. We have no objections there. We are also certain that IVF is not for us. Here's the hitch, I'd totally be willing to go the insemination route but the husband is not comfortable with it (religious reasons - and we are of the same faith). So now I feel like I have to put all of our eggs in one basket and hope that with the Clomid alone we can get pregnant without any other assistance.

Have any of you had a similar situation where you had to "convince" your partner that insemination was worth a try if they weren't on board initially?

Thanks in advance for any insight you can provide.

katie121209 · November 2015

@jamaicanqt welcome to the board! I am hoping the clomid will do the trick for you. Without knowing your religion I don't know what the specific restrictions of your religion are- if it has to do with the process of him giving a sperm sample they do make special condoms so you all could BD to provide a sample. Wishing you the best if you aren't ovulating regularly then maybe clomid will be all you need!

bsckgb7 · November 2015

^^ This. Is the masturbation is the issue, they have condoms. We actually use them for our insemination process. I assume it's not masturbation since he gave a sample. Please remember an IUI is simply taking his sample and shooting it high up into your uterus. They don't try to bring them together or help your egg hatch or any of that. It's simply to bypass your cervix.

Otherwise, they have lots of other drugs to try if Clomid doesn't work. Do you don't have to "put all your eggs in one basket" with Clomid. There are 2 different oral meds and boat-loads of injectable medication.

On CD3, you will get bloodwork and a vaginal ultrasound. They are checking for anything that could look like a cyst. You don't want fertility meds with cysts as it can cause them to rupture. They also want your hormones to be nice and low early in your cycle.

jamaicanqt · November 2015

@bsckgb7 and @katie121209 Thank you for your responses. With regard to our faith, masturbation is not an issue. DH just feels like too much manipulation by man to make this baby happen is a bit like playing God. Like maybe there's a reason why we aren't parents yet (Darwinism theory). For that reason, IVF is not an option for us. But I don't have a problem with IUI as an option. I just need to present it to him in a way that allows him to see it how I see it. For the record, he isn't closed to the option. He just says he feels a bit uncomfortable but has to think about it.

oxinfree · November 2015

@jamaicanqt - keep in mind, IUI is just washed sperm, injectables (drugs with effects similar to clomid really, just a bit stronger), and good timing... so I'd keep discussing it. I understand your decision not to pursue IVF, but there are most definitely other options available to you if it doesn't work out. That being said, clomid works for lots of people so fingers crossed for you!

re: checking your follicles, its basically that they want to look at your reserve generally, and see how many eggs you have growing in your ovaries, and determine if there are any cysts etc that could be preventing conception.

best of luck to you!

Piperella · November 2015

I wanted to pop in and say hello. IUI can also just be clomid and washing of the sperm (not necessarily injections or trigger shots).

Please also ask about having an HSG done on you if it has not been brought up yet. It's best to do it after your AF, but before ovulation, which seems to close to where you will be soon. This will check to see if your tubes are blocked and if there are any potential issues with your uterus. I did an IUI before the HSG because of timing, and hindsight is 20/20 and wouldn't have done IUIs knowing what I know now about how my body works after the HSG. Wishing you lots of luck, and I hope that you are your husband will get on the same page soon. IUI can work, but you may want to talk to the RE about the realistic percentages with all your options (knowing that IVF is out).

riveridgional · November 2015

You can also have your doctor perform a postcoital test, where he checks to see how many sperm are alive and kicking in a sample from your cervix taken the morning after BD. If your test results are great, an IUI won't really be of a benefit to you. The catch, however, is that Clomid can have a negative effed on your CM, which can make it harder for sperm to survive and the advantages of IUI to be much higher.

HBamama2B · November 2015

If you want to increase your chances on times intercourse using clomid and a trigger, you can support by using a special lubricant called pressed (due to decreased CM) and drinking red raspberry tea to support the uterine lining (which tends to thin on clomid.) GL!

jamaicanqt · November 2015

Thank you Piperella. I had an HSG done and they didn't find any blockages. My cycle started today so I'm going for the Day 3 ultrasound on Friday. FX that I have a good number of eggs (and that they're still of pretty good quality). Thank you all for your responses I really appreciate you.

J+A2008 · November 2015

I seemed to have seen a lot of people saying to drink or that they have drank the red raspberry tea...is it a special brand or just any brand?

wifeinraleigh28 · November 2015

Hello and welcome! I didn't have to *convince* my husband to do fertility treatments, however I can share my own religious beliefs if it would at all be helpful to you. If not, feel free to just skip my entire post or tell me to get lost!

I don't know your religious beliefs, but I am also religious. I believe that God has a hand in everything, and nothing would exist without his creation and guidance. This includes IUI and IVF, also things like open heart surgery, SUVs, and Star Wars. I don't believe it's possible for people to "play God." Everything is God. I believe that with IUI and IVF that God, through the intelligence and innovation of man, is giving us an incredible opportunity. There is so much we wouldn't have in our lives today without this. I wouldn't be able to comfortably drive to work while my butt is heated, or fly to Europe for vacation. Please note, this isn't intended to start any kind of religious debate, and like I said, just skip over my post if you don't like what I have to say! You have to do whatever you personally feel comfortable with.

jamaicanqt · November 2015

Thank you @wifeinraleigh28. No way am I skipping your post. Thank you for taking a moment to respond. As we just really learned the difference between IUI and IVF less than a week ago I think DH just needs a little time to mull it over. And I may "borrow" some of your points to try to get him to see things more like me. Thanks again.

jamaicanqt · November 2015

Update:

Met with our RE yesterday for the Day 3 ultrasound. He says I have 4 follicles on the right and 9 on the left and that this is a good starting point. I took my first dose of Clomid last night. I've had a headache ever since but I will happily deal with it if it means we're one step closer to becoming parents!

I must add though, I was totally overwhelmed yesterday when I went to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions (see my signature). I think maybe seeing the needles and syringes is what did me in. In a much better place today (after date night with DH). Please keep your fingers crossed that this round works and I will continue to keep my fingers crossed for each of you.

ChristinaV2015 · November 2015

Hi! Just popping in and wanted to share with you that I am in full agreement with what @wifeinraleigh28 posted. I, too, have a very strong faith and worried about how IVF played into His plan, I even consulted with one of our church elders who happens to also be a OB-GYN and he firmly supported me and said that God places doctors and specialists in the world to help us. Perhaps yours and your husband's faith will touch the doctors and nurses you meet. We're all waiting on our miracles...

FX for you and your husband and a BFP!

P.S. the needles are definitely overwhelming!

jamaicanqt · November 2015

Thank you @ChristinaV2015. I'm talking with our Pastor and his wife this week.

ChristinaV2015 · November 2015

Hey @jamaicanqt how did your meeting with your pastor go?

jamaicanqt · November 2015

@ChristinaV2015 I spoke with our pastor's wife. We just talked a lot about how God can make anything possible, including using alternative measures (of all types) to be of assistance. They've cheered from the sidelines as numerous couples went through various stages of infertility treatments. They aren't opposed to any fertility practices and more importantly believe that God placed these doctors and their knowledge in peoples lives to do nothing more than help.

At the end of the day though, if DH isn't into it then WE aren't into it because I can't do it by myself. So for now we will continue the medication and TI. I'm much more at ease with the decision than before. I tend to be very impulsive and this is giving me the opportunity to give this method a try before jumping to the next step. And this conversation isn't closed. DH has to do his own research and formulate his thoughts on the options and we'll go from there if need be.

Our RE actually cancelled our cycle on Sunday because we have 4 mature follicles and he said there is the possibility of releasing all 4 when I ovulate. He wants us to abstain until after my next period. Not sure that we want to cooperate with those instructions. We'll see.

Thanks for listening!

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