new to this board — The Bump
Single Parents

new to this board

uhm. hi, i guess ill be joining you guys over here. my husband and i have come to the conclusion that we arent too good together. so we are going to separate. potentially leading to divorce.
i gave birth to our son in July of 2015.
im mentally freaking out, we are still living together but he cant stand being around me. it feels wrong to be in his house and him feel chased out.
because of a bunch of issues(that arent on my end) i still dont have my maternity leave set up, i get $500 a month in child benefits.
i feel like i need to get my own place for me and my son. and i just dont know what to do

Re: new to this board

  • I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You should get a place for you and your son.  You will have to talk to your STBX-H about how he wants to deal with custody and all that, better to get that worked out sooner rather than later.

    If I'm reading your post correctly, you are not currently working?  I'm not sure what you mean by "child benefits".  
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  • right. I live in Canada, and families/people with kids under a certain age get money from the government. both my checks add up to $500. its also known as child allowance
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    edited November 2015
    Wow. Go Canada!

    Clearly, I do not live there, lol.

    A lot of the programs I endorse applies to women who live in the U.S., so I'm not quite sure how to do things up in Canada.  However, I'm sure there are support groups there.  Where I live, there are many organizations that help pregnant woman and their child(ren).  The one I ended up going to provided counseling, maternity clothes, baby clothes and toys, they offered programs on basic functionality of day to day with a child, and more.  Maybe you could find an organization to help you better understand your options?  There used to be one regular here that was from Canada, but since the board blew up, most people (including her) jumped ship.  I wish I had more information or advise. 

    However, I still say that you should find a home for you and your son. It'll be a less stressful environment for you two.  
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  • hello @jJessHeppell

    I am in Toronto, where in Canada are you?

    Have you applied for EI? Are you not eligible for some reason? 

    Sorry you are going through this, my baby isn't born yet and I am also facing parenthood as a single mom. I guess we can look at it from the positive light that at least our kids won't know any different! 

    For sure start making your plans to leave the house. From what you are saying the house is his? 

    Can you live with family/friends for a bit, while you settle finances with him or get EI? Are you planning to return to work?

    It's hard to give you advice, you know your situation best and where you could turn to for support. For myself for example, I moved in with my mom and will stay with her for a while, because mat leave and child support won't be enough to continue paying my mortgage. I had to rent out my place. 

  • @lubaTO im over in British Columbia.

    and im looking for a place but everything is out of my price range currently. as im still waiting on my maternity pay (long story) and i don't exactly have any friends i can call up and be like "hey wanna get a place together?" my parents house is full as well. this is so frustrating
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