Christmas plans? -in laws?

bkeep22 · November 2015

I'm due on January 1st and am not looking forward to Christmas. I'm already semi dreading Thanksgiving! At 33 weeks, I am so uncomfortable! I haven't slept well in what seems like the last month, I've had nausea my entire pregnancy. I have 2 Christmases on my side of the family plus another 2 on my SO's side. If the baby has not arrived, I am pretty positive I don't want to attend 4 Christmases. More specifically, my SO's get togethers. I'm not trying to be rude, but they have a lot of family drama going on and I don't want to be around it... and I really don't want to spend 2 days driving back and forth everywhere. Is anyone else facing these issues?

kmo8986 · November 2015

I am over it already too! My sister is hosting thanksgiving down the street, so that is no big deal. However we are traveling 2.5 hours the Saturday after thanksgiving for my husbands grandparents 50th anniversary (which I may bail on) then we have 2 more Christmas gatherings for hubby's family (the 19th and 20th of December) that are each about an hour away. For Christmas I will be at my house, with my family and anyone who wants to visit can. I don't plan on prepping a big meal or doing anything over the top, and if that offends anyone (ahem MIL) they can tell someone who cares.

I think that we all have a perfectly reasonable excuse to skip holiday gatherings this year if we so please.

sallyjackson1981 · November 2015

Agreed! We have told everyone we are staying at home and if they want to make the effort to come to visit they can! But we are not travelling anywhere or having any big celebrations.

alandaim · November 2015

My family and my DH's family were told prior to getting pregnant with my first child that we will not be traveling at on Christmas Eve. I feel like Christmas Eve and morning should be spent at our house. My family is very accomodating, but my DH's not so much. I know people have traditions but when you start a family you are allowed to make your own traditions.

That being said we are planning having Christmas dinner at my sister's house a half hour away, however if the weather is bad we aren't going anywhere.

I say put your foot down now. I have some friends with kids running all over the place on the holidays because they didn't say "no" right away. People need to be flexible and understand that things change.

MrsB915 · November 2015

We are going to my parents house for Christmas and my in laws are more than welcome to either join us or come visit after. My parents live 10 minutes away and with snow and holiday traffic my in laws are 2 hrs away so this is perfectly reasonable. I also have a history of PTL and preterm delivery so no one is going to argue with anything we have to say regarding holiday travel.

Talk to your ob about holiday travel they may give you restrictions that allow you to opt out gracefully from some of your holiday obligations. My ob would prefer that I stay close from now on due to my history.

mvhyde · November 2015

We are traveling for Thanksgiving. My ILs are 2.5 hours away, but I think I will be good for that. We will stay till Sunday, so I think it will be worth it for LO to see his cousins and grand parents.

Definitely not traveling for Christmas. My ILs are coming over some time in December, but not sure when.

I am not in your shoes but I would say definitely put priority on your comfort/ stress levels first. There are many Christmases that you can go to in the future and make up for whatever insult they may feel over it.

mageemaay · November 2015

@alandaim I'm lurking from Feb '16 board, but my RCS is scheduled for February 1st, so I kinda of feel like I belong here, too.

This whole idea of changing traditions around is proving to be a rough discussion with my DHs family, too. Whew. Glad to know I'm not the only one! Good luck!

maureenmce · November 2015

We decided not to travel for Thanksgiving or Christmas. My pregnancy is high risk and I'm just feeling tired and not in the mood for a 6 hour drive (to see my mom) or a 6 hour plane ride (to see my husband's family.) We told our families this a while ago and they totally expected it and are fine with it. My mom is coming down for Thanksgiving and staying for a couple days and for Christmas it'll probably just be my husband and myself. (Both sides of the family are saving their Christmas travel money for visiting us after baby is born.)

And honestly, I'm really looking forward to a low stress Christmas with just my husband and myself. Los Angeles is so nice during the holidays because a ton of people go out of town, so it's fun to go places that are normally crowded, like the dog beach and certain restaurants we love.

Plus I will get to catch up on sleep and not worry about cooking for a bunch of people at 35 weeks!

NillaWafers · November 2015

Thank goodness my mom just doesn't GAS. We are going to my in-laws both holidays and I couldn't be happier. They have kids who play with my kids, are relaxed, and I don't have to do ANYTHING.

GAgirlinSDakota · November 2015

Traditionally, we'd all be piling into my parents' house Christmas Eve to spend the night. That's my parents, us 3 siblings + SOs, my 4 kids, and 3 dogs. Kids go to bed at 9pm, then we all stay up late eating yummy finger foods, drinking hot chocolate in front of the fireplace, and share stories from other Christmases. Between 11 and 12 we stuff each other's (and kids') stockings and put out Santa stuff.

Sorry. I didn't mean to run on about it. I'm just really sad about missing out this year. It'll be just SO, 1yr old, and me at home this year and I'm unhappy about it. Spending Christmas with the ILs will never be an option b/c they just don't really care about holidays. That depresses me to the point of tears. SO has never really had a festive Christmas like my family does, so I'm also sad about missing out for his sake.

Mommyduclos · November 2015

I host all holidays. It's much more stressful any other way and I refuse to do many holiday celebrations. Nope. We host and everyone is invited- if they can't get over their drama to come it's on them. I really don't mind hosting. It doesn't stress me out in the least and I can control our traditions so my kids have nice holidays- mine growing up were not fun. Not sure if this is helpful hit that's what we do. I agree about putting your foot down. Maybe see one side for thanksgiving one for Christmas make everyone else come to you? And rotate?

teachmegs817 · November 2015

I host Thanksgiving and when I first got pregnant, all I could think about was how pregnant I was going to be for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Luckily, this pregnancy has been quite easy on me and I am still feeling great! I'll be almost 32 weeks on Thanksgiving and 35 at Christmas. Hoping the trend of feeling good continues. We only have our house to go to, this year for Thanksgiving, so no leaving the house for us, which is good. I plan on doing more work on the baby's nursery and decorating the house for the holidays on that day. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day however, we travel a lot. Christmas Eve we go to 3 different houses, thankfully those are conveniently located within 1 mile of each other and our day doesn't really begin until 3 pm with our first family to go and visit. Christmas Day is a bit longer, with us doing the morning thing at my Dad's house and then over to DH's to do gifts with his mom, dad and sister. Later on in the day we go to DH's grandpa's house. I'm not so worried about this year being pregnant and traveling, it's next year that I already told him, we won't be carting the baby around around everywhere with gifts and all that junk. We'll have to figure some stuff out, before next year's festivities roll around.

kmo8986 · November 2015

Since my son was born (this is only his 2nd Christmas) we decided that we do Christmas morning in our own house. If we want to go somewhere else later in the day that is fine but church and Christmas morning in our own home.

Kellycrazymomma · November 2015

My family is more than an hour away. My due date is 1/3, and aside from my preemie, Mom and Sis always went a bit early, so my family isn't surprised or upset that we aren't risking it during the unpredictable MI winter. My nephew and his wife (due late Feb) have volunteered to host Thanksgiving. Hubby's parents accepted us not seeing most of them until after baby, so I was pleasantly shocked. My parents and his can come to us for Christmas. We will see his extended family at his grandparents on Christmas day, because they are less than 2 miles away, so short of a major storm... Being due so close to the holiday, no one is putting forth any demands.

l4rk · November 2015

We're hosting Christmas dinner this year and are inviting parents, in-laws, our siblings and their kids, etc. About 15 people. My SO is a doll and will realistically be doing most of the work, and basically everyone else is amazing in that way and will be willing to pitch in if needed. My only catch is we are doing the dinner on Xmas Eve, so that we can have a quiet Christmas Day. The idea of having it all over and done with by Christmas morning is really making me feel at peace with the inevitable chaos of the day before.

OrangeFox · November 2015

We have been planning on an hour FLIGHT to visit my in laws since last Christmas (obviously, long before the start of this pregnancy). DH's childhood home is going to be put on the market in the spring and all three brothers are planning on traveling back there for Christmas. I want to go as I love his family. I am due at the end of Jan and will be 36+1 or 36+2 when we fly home. I am REALLY hoping this works out but have purchased travelers insurance just in case we have to cancel the flight at the last minute.

I wouldn't consider it at all if the flight wasn't so short. I'm probably crazy for doing this but my doctor said she would write me a medical clearance note so long as everything looks good at my appointment before we leave.

blessed2bemommy · November 2015

We're due January 17th (but 3rd was 3 1/2 weeks early so they told me early on with this one to be prepared for an early one again in case)....so once we heard that we told all the family that after the beginning of December we aren't leaving town. Christmas eve is usually at my grandma's which is a 40 minute drive and Christmas day we were going to be at the in laws which is a 2 1/2 he drive and they live in the country (oh and labor with ds start to finish was 3 hrs, hence no leaving town this time lol).
But we told everyone early to give them time to wrap their minds around us missing it this year. It will not be the same, but everyone understands. I'm 31 weeks and already uncomfortable, I'm glad we made that decision early so we didn't get the guilt trips as it's more difficult to move around lol

bkeep22 · November 2015

Thanks everyone for the tips and support! Now I just need to find the guts to just say no now

mommap2 · November 2015

We will travel for Thanksgiving to my in-laws which are an hour and a half. But we will stop at my family, they are on the way and only a few miles from our house for appetizers and to visit with my family and to plan our Black Friday shopping. (We don't do the crazy stay up all night shopping just hit the mall and other shops around 9ish on Friday morning. I have a good chunk of my shopping already started but it's a fun day out with my mom and aunts. For Christmas we are planning to do our usual Christmas Eve at my parents which is only 4 miles away. Christmas morning is at our house and we will head to the in-laws mid day. As long as I am still feeling good. My son came at 36 weeks which will be Christmas day, but that was me being induced. My dr promised she will not take me on Christmas day as long as my blood pressure isn't thru the roof. Which it as been great so fingers crossed it stays that way!

Bring on the holidays!

lfconner7 · November 2015

I'm due Jan 3 so the Dr kind of helped me with this issue... We are traveling to both our families for thanksgiving (both are about 1:15mins north). However on Christmas Day I'll be 38+5, I had a quick labor with DS so my Dr has already said no traveling from 36 weeks on past 20 mins from our home so no traveling for Christmas for us... We told both our mothers this back in September to give them ample time to absorb and process. My mothers response is that she will host Christmas Eve still but at my house - so I have around 30 people coming, thankfully she is cooking and is planning to come and help clean up the day prior if I'm exhausted and not keeping as clean of a house as she would prefer:) my mil has said absolutely nothing since DH told her, I assume someone will ask at thanksgiving and she will pretend like this is the first time she is hearing it and it will be all drama. Just note my family is 30 people driving farther to include 'my family' in the holidays, my in laws have 4 people this effects... Two years ago we were on our honeymoon for Christmas and New Years which was a crying drama with her so I'm sure this will be just the same.

Telle2014 · November 2015

My IL's leave Christmas day for Florida ( 22 hour drive from here all in one go) usually DH and I drive with them. This year obviously we will not be going. My MIL asked me if it would be alright if for Christmas they gave DH a trip ( flight to Florida). He would be flying down December 31 with my SIL and leaving me here. I said not unless he wants to get a divorce. She wasn't very pleased and now brings up how she will miss him all winter. I want to scream at her this is our first and she wants her son to potentially miss it? It saddens me that she clearly has no respect for me and our relationship. Yesterday on the phone she even went so far as to tell me she thought that there would be nothing for him to do during the delivery other than be a target for my emotions. I personally am glad we don't have to be in Florida Christmas day this year we get to spend time with my family too. I am hopeful she doesn't think that we will be going to Florida next year with an 11 month old.

Want a personalized experience?

Christmas plans? -in laws?

Re: Christmas plans? -in laws?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards