I'm 32 weeks pregnant with twins and so far things are going great. There is a good chance I'll be able to make it to 38 weeks (full term for twins). So why is my mother freaking out about me going into labour "any day now!" I understand that anything can happen but how about a little positive thinking, Mom!
My shower was yesterday and she was "so glad I made it and we didn't have to cancel." Yeah, I'm really glad too, but if you were so worried why didn't you schedule it earlier than 32 weeks?
I'm trying not to freak out myself - it's not helping when I'm constantly reminded that my babies might be born "any day now!"
So last week my in-laws told me to expect them for a visit sometime either last week or this week. (They haven't shown up yet.) Well, my SIL, who hasn't responded to a text or phone call from me or DH since APRIL, called me yesterday to let me know that she and her family are coming for Thanksgiving with her parents so I need to make sure I do extra grocery shopping. I immediately called my FIL and yep, they all plan on coming for Thanksgiving. He said he thought that my MIL had told me already. I literally was screaming through the phone to get an exact day as to when they will be here. I was very upset. It would be one thing if they talked with me about it but that apparently is too much to ask for.
So now, not only do I have to cancel thanksgiving at my parents' house, I now need to blow my grocery budget and host a house of an additional 9 people for all of next week. We have had many food arguments over the years. It's basically feeding my family two and a half times over with no sort of contributions. With it being the holiday season and expecting we aren't exactly rolling in tons of extra cash.
And yes, I would invite my parents over too but my dad has some major health issues and has issues traveling. The shear noise level would set off an episode for him. It is a big deal every time we come over to visit them and I feel absolutely awful about this whole situation.
There is not enough chocolate in the world to lift my anger haze.
@mesamyt ::::::hugs::::::: Ugh, I would be losing my mind with that nonsense!! Sounds like my in-laws on overkill. Praying for peace and a quick week for you. I'm really sorry you had to cancel with your parents, too. Ugh ugh ugh! What an annoying situation!
@kristanoah thank you. i have lost my mind. I should have expected this though. They are great at being very inconvenient and only thinking of themselves. I'll make it up to my parents somehow.
I was talking with a co-worker about my plans for maternity leave and I told him I was planning on taking the full 12 weeks allowed with FMLA. His response was "That's a nice long vacation!" Um, no, maternity leave is not a vacation. Recovering from giving birth and taking care of a newborn isn't exactly an easy job - it's not like I'll just be sitting around relaxing the whole time! Plus I am only getting paid for half of that time!
Today my complaint is my DH. Our son is 2 and has kind of below the ear shaggy hair. We've kept it like a shaggy cut around his ears for a while and it's been time for him to have a cut again. Well the other day we talked about it and DH said he wants him to have shorter hair than the shaggy look, like he had before we let it grow out. So today I take DS to get a haircut, and it's kind of a classic boy cut where he's got length but it's much more even and not shaggy. DH came home for lunch and is like "what'd you do to his hair?!?" I said "I got it cut shorter like you said!" DH is all moody and grumpy and finally tells me he was wrong and that we should've kept it long and shaggy and that now DS looks too old. Ugh. I can't win! Pics of DS before and after. I think he looks like a baby with the haircut!
I really, really despise inconsiderate people!
*In-law rant*
So last week my in-laws told me to expect them for a visit sometime either last week or this week. (They haven't shown up yet.) Well, my SIL, who hasn't responded to a text or phone call from me or DH since APRIL, called me yesterday to let me know that she and her family are coming for Thanksgiving with her parents so I need to make sure I do extra grocery shopping. I immediately called my FIL and yep, they all plan on coming for Thanksgiving. He said he thought that my MIL had told me already. I literally was screaming through the phone to get an exact day as to when they will be here. I was very upset. It would be one thing if they talked with me about it but that apparently is too much to ask for.
So now, not only do I have to cancel thanksgiving at my parents' house, I now need to blow my grocery budget and host a house of an additional 9 people for all of next week. We have had many food arguments over the years. It's basically feeding my family two and a half times over with no sort of contributions. With it being the holiday season and expecting we aren't exactly rolling in tons of extra cash.
And yes, I would invite my parents over too but my dad has some major health issues and has issues traveling. The shear noise level would set off an episode for him. It is a big deal every time we come over to visit them and I feel absolutely awful about this whole situation.
There is not enough chocolate in the world to lift my anger haze.
One week until my personal hell starts.
Dude. Just say no. I would have told them, "Sorry, have other plans. Maybe next year." No way in hell would this be happening.
@mesamyt - so sorry for you, that is really inconsiderate and very selfish of the ILs. Is it possible to make and freeze any food in advance to make the cooking easier? The ILs should at least contribute to the grocery bill, I hope they don't expect waiting on hand and foot either. The SIL who has ignored contact since April could have made much more of an effort. A text takes seconds to write and send and there is no excuse. Wish I could send you a ton of chocolate, thinking of you xx
Yeah, I'm pretty much in denial mode right now. I'm organizing and hiding my latest shopping spree instead of thinking about Thanksgiving.
SIL is a real witch. She never does anything unless she can benefit from it, or if she wants something.
I will happily take your chocolate in any way, shape, and form!
@GAgirlinSDakota I did say no. I've yelled and screamed it from the rooftops. Husband knows how I feel and so does my FIL. I've told them they are welcome to come another time but that's not convenient for them. But since all is still fine with DH their plans continue. I love my husband but his whole go with the flow attitude really sucks monkey balls. He doesn't even care because he will be working the whole time.
And it's not like I can punish DH. I'm already a loud, bitchy, pregnant chic, and I've already taken sex away from him. What else can I do?
@kristanoah your son is so cute!!!! He looks gorgeous in both photos and his hair will soon grow back. Tell DH that next time DS needs a haircut then he can take him.
Thanks, we think he's pretty adorable too! I did tell DH that haha!
@GAgirlinSDakota I did say no. I've yelled and screamed it from the rooftops. Husband knows how I feel and so does my FIL. I've told them they are welcome to come another time but that's not convenient for them. But since all is still fine with DH their plans continue. I love my husband but his whole go with the flow attitude really sucks monkey balls. He doesn't even care because he will be working the whole time.
And it's not like I can punish DH. I'm already a loud, bitchy, pregnant chic, and I've already taken sex away from him. What else can I do?
It's a tough spot to be in, I know. I guess at this point I'd say, "Fine DH. YOU host them. I'm sticking to our original plans to go to my parents' house." I'm not talking out of my ass about things I don't understand, I promise. Something like this happened w/ my exH and Easter years ago. He dealt with his parents at our house, and I took our 3 month old to my parents' house. He did NOT enjoy hosting, so it was never an issue again.
No matter what you decide, I'm sorry you are in this position. It sucks.
@mesamyt I would absolutely say "sorry, we have other plans." If your dh really wants to host them then he should do the cooking and cleaning since it is his side ot the family that is being so inconsiderate and pushy. Especially since it would mean cancelling plans with your parents, which I think is very unfair to you!
Also, I think it is so inconsiderate for them to say "we're Conlin in the next week or two" without giving you exact dates. I think that really needs to change. My in laws did this at the beginning and I'd just hound them for exact dates or say that we were available between certain dates and that if they wanted to come them they were more than welcome to. I tend to be a pushover and doormat when it comes to accommodating others and realized that it was unfair to me to always put others first.
Stand up for yourself and don't let them take advantage of you.
Ohhhh today. Construction closed like, 20 feet of one main road by where I live/work to fix a street sign or something and it turned my 5 minute, 2.2 mile commute into a 40 minute, 2.2 mile commute. Sitting at green light after green light while not being able to move was frustrating. Especially so because today is the first day that our new boss is here (the one who decides whether or not we all get to keep our jobs.) Luckily, it seems like nearly everyone in the office was caught in the same traffic so it was fine.
But now we just wait until she decides to let us know if we have jobs until Christmas, as was originally planned, or if today or this week will be it for us. Hopefully we will find out this morning or later today, but I suppose she could wait until end of week. (Dear god I hope not.) Anyway, I'm trying not to be anxious but it's hard. I'm not high level enough to be in any of the meetings where it'll be decided, so I have to wait for the info to trickle down. Sigh.
Also, does anyone else feel like in the third trimester your patience is at zero? I was moody during the first tri, but nothing like this. I basically go from calm and collected to bitch in .5 seconds! Totally out of character for me.
Also, does anyone else feel like in the third trimester your patience is at zero? I was moody during the first tri, but nothing like this. I basically go from calm and collected to bitch in .5 seconds! Totally out of character for me.
The dish stand-off is fading. He's managed to rack-up about 40ish dishes (not including glasses and silverware), and he washed maybe 1/3 of that this morning. I'm winning!
I spent 6 hours yesterday putting together 2 photo books on shutterfly for SO's parents for Christmas. One for each, since they are divorced. I put in a LOT of effort b/c I like knowing I did a good job, even though I can't stand either of them. FIL refuses to acknowledge my existence, and will love the gift until he finds out I had anything to do with it. MIL will just complain about it in general, b/c that's her MO. So why am I the one handling HIS parents' gifts? Because last year he gave them a shotgun plunger (FIL) and a $5 basket of lotion (MIL) and put MY NAME on the damn tag. No. If they act like butts about the photo books, then next year SO can deal with again, and just leave my name off.
I'm hungry and I don't have any self-cooking food. And the microwave isn't working. And my 13month old won't nap.
So last week my in-laws told me to expect them for a visit sometime either last week or this week. (They haven't shown up yet.) Well, my SIL, who hasn't responded to a text or phone call from me or DH since APRIL, called me yesterday to let me know that she and her family are coming for Thanksgiving with her parents so I need to make sure I do extra grocery shopping. I immediately called my FIL and yep, they all plan on coming for Thanksgiving. He said he thought that my MIL had told me already. I literally was screaming through the phone to get an exact day as to when they will be here. I was very upset. It would be one thing if they talked with me about it but that apparently is too much to ask for.
So now, not only do I have to cancel thanksgiving at my parents' house, I now need to blow my grocery budget and host a house of an additional 9 people for all of next week. We have had many food arguments over the years. It's basically feeding my family two and a half times over with no sort of contributions. With it being the holiday season and expecting we aren't exactly rolling in tons of extra cash.
And yes, I would invite my parents over too but my dad has some major health issues and has issues traveling. The shear noise level would set off an episode for him. It is a big deal every time we come over to visit them and I feel absolutely awful about this whole situation.
There is not enough chocolate in the world to lift my anger haze.
One week until my personal hell starts.
Why not tell them you already have plans for thanksgiving and they'll have to sponge off of someone else??
I would never kill myself to host rude family who have essentially invited themselves, and are expecting me to wait on them. You deserve a a calm, rest filled holiday. Don't take that sh!t.
I'm feeling alright today. Thanks for asking. I was going to say SO gets a pass on not getting the dishes done this weekend b/c he had to watch the 13month old by himself, but nevermind, I do that all the time and still manage housework. His arms aren't broken. He did my daily chore (pick up/vacuum living room) and massaged my feet, so whatever. Still winning. Still not doing the dishes.
@GAgirlinSDakota I did say no. I've yelled and screamed it from the rooftops. Husband knows how I feel and so does my FIL. I've told them they are welcome to come another time but that's not convenient for them. But since all is still fine with DH their plans continue. I love my husband but his whole go with the flow attitude really sucks monkey balls. He doesn't even care because he will be working the whole time.
And it's not like I can punish DH. I'm already a loud, bitchy, pregnant chic, and I've already taken sex away from him. What else can I do?
Send each coming relative a shopping list of what to bring with them with expectation for them to cook too or a list of cooked items. Do not forget to remind them, that you are pregnant and unable to do everything yourself. Just play stupid
I know how everyone on here feels about the flu shot. But I've gotten one once and ended up sick (don't know if I was sick before and it was bad timing, or if my body just didn't handle it well) and decided never again. I get every shot/ vaccination I've ever needed, but I don't see the flu shot as a necessary thing. And I've had the flu once in 20 years. But today at my biweekly check up my OB said I needed to get it, that it's my decision, but she advises against opting out. So naturally I said okay sure. Now I hate myself. Because I didn't want the effing flu shot. And my arm is sore. And if I get sick tomorrow my boss is going to rip me a new one.
Also I feel like I clean my house and 5 minutes later it's dirty again. Seriously I've bleached my bathroom twice in the past 7 days, and my dogs new favorite thing is tearing out the stuffing out of their toys and dog bed.
Oh and I'm tired of being fat. I've officiously gained exactly 30 pounds.
And last night was mine & SO's anniversary and we didn't have sex (I even wore matching bra and panties) which was kind of a bumme because we rarely do anymore and I miss it. He fell asleep during our movie. I was wide awake watching Criminal Minds til 4 am. It was great.
This is borderline an (adult video) *i didn't know how people feel about the actual word* I watched this gif over an over and my mouth was all drooly.....
I've spoken with my FIL, MIL, husband, and mom. My mom understands how much of a headache they cause and believe me when I say it's easier to humor them to a point than to deal with their fury. We have made our own post-thanksgiving plans and even have Christmas worked out which my dad seems to be very happy about. Husband, while unable to get the week off, is taking an early day Mon-Wed and will take Thursday-Saturday off to help ease my stress. He had spoken with his parents this morning and apparently let them know my personal stress and my anger towards their recent decisions. They seem to have been more understanding. FIL has agreed to have my MIL go grocery shopping with me when they arrive on Monday and is going to send me with his credit card just in case MIL acts dumb and won't pay. He has even promised to take my kids out for a grandpa ice cream date Tuesday after school so I can have some quiet time as well as agreed to watch everyone so husband and I can go out kid free on Friday to go see Mockingjay. I have told my MIL that I am not prepared to host a Thanksgiving dinner for so many people so they have to bring all of their own cooking dishes and supplies. She has agreed that other than making desserts (my specialty) I will not be preparing the dinner. I'm even making them bring all of their own towels and bedding so I don't have to worry about loads of laundry after they leave. I have also left voice mails for my SIL that while I am ok with her family coming I will not be ok with her children running amok in my home or trashing our belongings. I take a lot of pride in my home and our house is organized, cleaned, and prepared for baby to arrive and I expect her to leave it in the same state.
I have never been afraid to speak my mind. I feel that since they both retired a couple months ago life for them is more laid back and expect us all to be the same way. And while I appreciate my husband finally taking a stand I feel the only reason they are falling in line is because of health issues they didn't know about. Either way I just hope they stick to this plan.
So today DH and I closed on our new home! We still have 2 weeks to move in and with our first due Jan 27th, I am obviously more than a little stressed.. (30 weeks on Wednesday!)
Rant time: On Saturday, DH and I were scheduled for the final walk-through of the house and DH thought his mom should take the opportunity to see it finally! Which is fine with me, even though practically no one else in our family has seen the house yet, I understood that as a single mom she wants to be involved in her son's life as much as possible. HOWEVER, when we get to the final bedroom upstairs, I tell our realtor and MIL that this is what will be the nursery! She then proceeds to tell our realtor in front of DH and I (like we aren't there) "Well, I gave them space when they got married three years ago so that they could have time together but since the baby is coming they won't have alone time anyway so they'll just have to share that time with me. I'll be over all the time."
ARE YOU KIDDING?! (FYI, limiting her phone calls to once/twice a day is NOT space).
I'm looking at DH and shaking my head vigorously "NO" but he won't even look me in the eye! And he never said anything! I'm keeping calm for now (which was a major feet at the time) and waiting until after the baby shower at 32 weeks but I will have to sit down with both my mom and MIL and straighten out some drama issues and lay some ground rules (both of which are co-hosting).
@mesamyt I'm lurking here and don't know you well, but I would urge you to just say no. Why should you change your plans a week out because of their poor planning? They are being absolutely ridiculous and presumptuous. You and hubs your boundaries now. Sorry you are dealing with this stress, but I would simply carry on with the plans I'd already made and tell them that you can't host their visit or thanksgiving dinner next week.
Edited to add that I was so indignant at the situation that I failed to read your update before I posted. Good work.
That sounds much better than before. Nice middle ground.
I'm sorry if I came across too strong earlier. I just have zero tolerance for inlaw shenanigans and I can't stand to see anyone else run over by them. Protecting my boundaries, home, and status as an adult (they tend to treat us like children) has been my hill to die on for the last 14yrs and 2 sets of inlaws, and I don't bend. Sometimes I forget that it's not that hill for other people, and that's perfectly okay. lol
@spottedginger@GAgirlinSDakota I appreciate you both wanting me to stand frim. I have done so in the past and they still have continued with their plans. I've put up with their crap for 12 years.
In-law issues are a huge contention between my husband and myself. I would much rather try to find common ground than to open that hell hole again. My parents hate him, his parents still think they rule our lives, feel they get to criticize every decision we make, etc. We lived in the same town as them and they demanded every weekend of our time, every holiday, never went to our house once, and even tried to look at our bank accounts because they felt we weren't making good financial decisions. I actually took our 3 kids, left DH and moved out of state in 2010 because of them. DH chose to follow me and our kids over his own family. That was the first time he ever stood up to them. Our relationship has only improved since then.
I used to work for my FIL for 4 years when we lived near them so I know how to handle him the best and he knows that if he wants to see my kids to do as I say. It's sad to say that their current behavior has improved leaps and bounds from what it use to be.
My mom is like me as we both like to please people. She understands what they are like and is more than willing to help eliminate my stress wherever possible. Plus, with planning a post thanksgiving day she will get more time with me and the kids than on thanksgiving day itself.
I know how everyone on here feels about the flu shot. But I've gotten one once and ended up sick (don't know if I was sick before and it was bad timing, or if my body just didn't handle it well) and decided never again. I get every shot/ vaccination I've ever needed, but I don't see the flu shot as a necessary thing. And I've had the flu once in 20 years. But today at my biweekly check up my OB said I needed to get it, that it's my decision, but she advises against opting out. So naturally I said okay sure. Now I hate myself. Because I didn't want the effing flu shot. And my arm is sore. And if I get sick tomorrow my boss is going to rip me a new one.
Also I feel like I clean my house and 5 minutes later it's dirty again. Seriously I've bleached my bathroom twice in the past 7 days, and my dogs new favorite thing is tearing out the stuffing out of their toys and dog bed.
Oh and I'm tired of being fat. I've officiously gained exactly 30 pounds.
And last night was mine & SO's anniversary and we didn't have sex (I even wore matching bra and panties) which was kind of a bumme because we rarely do anymore and I miss it. He fell asleep during our movie. I was wide awake watching Criminal Minds til 4 am. It was great.
The shot is for your baby. I did not want to get mine either, but figured if I will get a flu a baby may die
So last week my in-laws told me to expect them for a visit sometime either last week or this week. (They haven't shown up yet.) Well, my SIL, who hasn't responded to a text or phone call from me or DH since APRIL, called me yesterday to let me know that she and her family are coming for Thanksgiving with her parents so I need to make sure I do extra grocery shopping. I immediately called my FIL and yep, they all plan on coming for Thanksgiving. He said he thought that my MIL had told me already. I literally was screaming through the phone to get an exact day as to when they will be here. I was very upset. It would be one thing if they talked with me about it but that apparently is too much to ask for.
So now, not only do I have to cancel thanksgiving at my parents' house, I now need to blow my grocery budget and host a house of an additional 9 people for all of next week. We have had many food arguments over the years. It's basically feeding my family two and a half times over with no sort of contributions. With it being the holiday season and expecting we aren't exactly rolling in tons of extra cash.
And yes, I would invite my parents over too but my dad has some major health issues and has issues traveling. The shear noise level would set off an episode for him. It is a big deal every time we come over to visit them and I feel absolutely awful about this whole situation.
There is not enough chocolate in the world to lift my anger haze.
One week until my personal hell starts.
I would be assigning dishes. Someone would bring the bread, salad, ice, pop, pie...or don't bother showing up. Nutz.
ETA I also was so indignant I stopped reading and posted immediately. I'm glad they're ponying up for the party.
You could not cook and go to your parents anyway. This is bullshit that you have to host when you didn't explicitly invite them. You made plans, stick to them.
Re: Monday Bitchfest
My shower was yesterday and she was "so glad I made it and we didn't have to cancel." Yeah, I'm really glad too, but if you were so worried why didn't you schedule it earlier than 32 weeks?
I'm trying not to freak out myself - it's not helping when I'm constantly reminded that my babies might be born "any day now!"
*In-law rant*
So last week my in-laws told me to expect them for a visit sometime either last week or this week. (They haven't shown up yet.) Well, my SIL, who hasn't responded to a text or phone call from me or DH since APRIL, called me yesterday to let me know that she and her family are coming for Thanksgiving with her parents so I need to make sure I do extra grocery shopping. I immediately called my FIL and yep, they all plan on coming for Thanksgiving. He said he thought that my MIL had told me already. I literally was screaming through the phone to get an exact day as to when they will be here. I was very upset. It would be one thing if they talked with me about it but that apparently is too much to ask for.
So now, not only do I have to cancel thanksgiving at my parents' house, I now need to blow my grocery budget and host a house of an additional 9 people for all of next week. We have had many food arguments over the years. It's basically feeding my family two and a half times over with no sort of contributions. With it being the holiday season and expecting we aren't exactly rolling in tons of extra cash.
And yes, I would invite my parents over too but my dad has some major health issues and has issues traveling. The shear noise level would set off an episode for him. It is a big deal every time we come over to visit them and I feel absolutely awful about this whole situation.
There is not enough chocolate in the world to lift my anger haze.
One week until my personal hell starts.
DS1 01/08/03 DD1 08/11/04 DD2 10/06/08 DS2 09/30/14
SURPRISE! Hannah May born 01/22/16
SIL is a real witch. She never does anything unless she can benefit from it, or if she wants something.
I will happily take your chocolate in any way, shape, and form!
And it's not like I can punish DH. I'm already a loud, bitchy, pregnant chic, and I've already taken sex away from him. What else can I do?
It's a tough spot to be in, I know. I guess at this point I'd say, "Fine DH. YOU host them. I'm sticking to our original plans to go to my parents' house." I'm not talking out of my ass about things I don't understand, I promise. Something like this happened w/ my exH and Easter years ago. He dealt with his parents at our house, and I took our 3 month old to my parents' house. He did NOT enjoy hosting, so it was never an issue again.
No matter what you decide, I'm sorry you are in this position. It sucks.
DS1 01/08/03 DD1 08/11/04 DD2 10/06/08 DS2 09/30/14
SURPRISE! Hannah May born 01/22/16
Also, I think it is so inconsiderate for them to say "we're Conlin in the next week or two" without giving you exact dates. I think that really needs to change. My in laws did this at the beginning and I'd just hound them for exact dates or say that we were available between certain dates and that if they wanted to come them they were more than welcome to. I tend to be a pushover and doormat when it comes to accommodating others and realized that it was unfair to me to always put others first.
Stand up for yourself and don't let them take advantage of you.
The dish stand-off is fading. He's managed to rack-up about 40ish dishes (not including glasses and silverware), and he washed maybe 1/3 of that this morning. I'm winning!
I spent 6 hours yesterday putting together 2 photo books on shutterfly for SO's parents for Christmas. One for each, since they are divorced. I put in a LOT of effort b/c I like knowing I did a good job, even though I can't stand either of them. FIL refuses to acknowledge my existence, and will love the gift until he finds out I had anything to do with it. MIL will just complain about it in general, b/c that's her MO. So why am I the one handling HIS parents' gifts? Because last year he gave them a shotgun plunger (FIL) and a $5 basket of lotion (MIL) and put MY NAME on the damn tag. No. If they act like butts about the photo books, then next year SO can deal with again, and just leave my name off.
I'm hungry and I don't have any self-cooking food. And the microwave isn't working. And my 13month old won't nap.
DS1 01/08/03 DD1 08/11/04 DD2 10/06/08 DS2 09/30/14
SURPRISE! Hannah May born 01/22/16
I would never kill myself to host rude family who have essentially invited themselves, and are expecting me to wait on them. You deserve a a calm, rest filled holiday. Don't take that sh!t.
@Scullahoo
I'm feeling alright today. Thanks for asking. I was going to say SO gets a pass on not getting the dishes done this weekend b/c he had to watch the 13month old by himself, but nevermind, I do that all the time and still manage housework. His arms aren't broken. He did my daily chore (pick up/vacuum living room) and massaged my feet, so whatever. Still winning. Still not doing the dishes.
DS1 01/08/03 DD1 08/11/04 DD2 10/06/08 DS2 09/30/14
SURPRISE! Hannah May born 01/22/16
Also I feel like I clean my house and 5 minutes later it's dirty again. Seriously I've bleached my bathroom twice in the past 7 days, and my dogs new favorite thing is tearing out the stuffing out of their toys and dog bed.
Oh and I'm tired of being fat. I've officiously gained exactly 30 pounds.
And last night was mine & SO's anniversary and we didn't have sex (I even wore matching bra and panties) which was kind of a bumme because we rarely do anymore and I miss it. He fell asleep during our movie. I was wide awake watching Criminal Minds til 4 am. It was great.
I watched this gif over an over and my mouth was all drooly.....
I've spoken with my FIL, MIL, husband, and mom. My mom understands how much of a headache they cause and believe me when I say it's easier to humor them to a point than to deal with their fury. We have made our own post-thanksgiving plans and even have Christmas worked out which my dad seems to be very happy about. Husband, while unable to get the week off, is taking an early day Mon-Wed and will take Thursday-Saturday off to help ease my stress. He had spoken with his parents this morning and apparently let them know my personal stress and my anger towards their recent decisions. They seem to have been more understanding. FIL has agreed to have my MIL go grocery shopping with me when they arrive on Monday and is going to send me with his credit card just in case MIL acts dumb and won't pay. He has even promised to take my kids out for a grandpa ice cream date Tuesday after school so I can have some quiet time as well as agreed to watch everyone so husband and I can go out kid free on Friday to go see Mockingjay. I have told my MIL that I am not prepared to host a Thanksgiving dinner for so many people so they have to bring all of their own cooking dishes and supplies. She has agreed that other than making desserts (my specialty) I will not be preparing the dinner. I'm even making them bring all of their own towels and bedding so I don't have to worry about loads of laundry after they leave. I have also left voice mails for my SIL that while I am ok with her family coming I will not be ok with her children running amok in my home or trashing our belongings. I take a lot of pride in my home and our house is organized, cleaned, and prepared for baby to arrive and I expect her to leave it in the same state.
I have never been afraid to speak my mind. I feel that since they both retired a couple months ago life for them is more laid back and expect us all to be the same way. And while I appreciate my husband finally taking a stand I feel the only reason they are falling in line is because of health issues they didn't know about. Either way I just hope they stick to this plan.
So today DH and I closed on our new home! We still have 2 weeks to move in and with our first due Jan 27th, I am obviously more than a little stressed.. (30 weeks on Wednesday!)
Rant time: On Saturday, DH and I were scheduled for the final walk-through of the house and DH thought his mom should take the opportunity to see it finally! Which is fine with me, even though practically no one else in our family has seen the house yet, I understood that as a single mom she wants to be involved in her son's life as much as possible. HOWEVER, when we get to the final bedroom upstairs, I tell our realtor and MIL that this is what will be the nursery! She then proceeds to tell our realtor in front of DH and I (like we aren't there) "Well, I gave them space when they got married three years ago so that they could have time together but since the baby is coming they won't have alone time anyway so they'll just have to share that time with me. I'll be over all the time."
ARE YOU KIDDING?! (FYI, limiting her phone calls to once/twice a day is NOT space).
I'm looking at DH and shaking my head vigorously "NO" but he won't even look me in the eye! And he never said anything! I'm keeping calm for now (which was a major feet at the time) and waiting until after the baby shower at 32 weeks but I will have to sit down with both my mom and MIL and straighten out some drama issues and lay some ground rules (both of which are co-hosting).
Edited to add that I was so indignant at the situation that I failed to read your update before I posted. Good work.
@mesamyt
That sounds much better than before. Nice middle ground.
I'm sorry if I came across too strong earlier. I just have zero tolerance for inlaw shenanigans and I can't stand to see anyone else run over by them. Protecting my boundaries, home, and status as an adult (they tend to treat us like children) has been my hill to die on for the last 14yrs and 2 sets of inlaws, and I don't bend. Sometimes I forget that it's not that hill for other people, and that's perfectly okay. lol
DS1 01/08/03 DD1 08/11/04 DD2 10/06/08 DS2 09/30/14
SURPRISE! Hannah May born 01/22/16
In-law issues are a huge contention between my husband and myself. I would much rather try to find common ground than to open that hell hole again. My parents hate him, his parents still think they rule our lives, feel they get to criticize every decision we make, etc. We lived in the same town as them and they demanded every weekend of our time, every holiday, never went to our house once, and even tried to look at our bank accounts because they felt we weren't making good financial decisions. I actually took our 3 kids, left DH and moved out of state in 2010 because of them. DH chose to follow me and our kids over his own family. That was the first time he ever stood up to them. Our relationship has only improved since then.
I used to work for my FIL for 4 years when we lived near them so I know how to handle him the best and he knows that if he wants to see my kids to do as I say. It's sad to say that their current behavior has improved leaps and bounds from what it use to be.
My mom is like me as we both like to please people. She understands what they are like and is more than willing to help eliminate my stress wherever possible. Plus, with planning a post thanksgiving day she will get more time with me and the kids than on thanksgiving day itself.
ETA I also was so indignant I stopped reading and posted immediately. I'm glad they're ponying up for the party.