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Introduction

pamelatedpamelated member
in Infertility
Hi everyone!

I've been anxiously awaiting being able to write my first post! My DH and I have been TTC since January 2015. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I as 19 (I'm now 28), so we went straight to an RE after I went off birth control, since I knew I wouldn't ovulate on my own. It took forever to finally bring on AF, and then we started with Clomid. I responded a little too strongly (4 good follicles), but we tried anyway, with no success. I ended up with a cyst and had to take a month off. Then we did Letrozole, which didn't work, so back to Clomid (all the same cycle), with IUI. No success, and I had another cyst, so had to take another month off and take birth control. At this point I switched REs because I wasn't feeling very supported. I love my new RE and everyone in the office. Once I switched I started Metformin, and then went through a cycle where we tried Letrozole, Clomid, Broval, and finally Follistim before anything worked. We did an IUI again that cycle, and no success. I had 2 cysts after that cycle, but my new RE had me take birth control just for two weeks until they were gone and then started a new cycle. Even though the extra two weeks is brutal, I was so happy it wasn't a full month. Especially because I tend to take extra time to ovulate. This month we went straight to Follistim after the cyst went away, and did back to back IUIs. I'm now 7 days into my TWW. Just got my progesterone levels back at 15.3, and am using Endometrin this time, which is so much better than those gross waxy bullets of progesterone. My DH and I are planning on moving to IVF in January when our new insurance kicks in, so I potentially have one more IUI cycle if this one doesn't work. I had a really good feeling about this time right after the IUI, but the doubt has creeped in over the past week. I hope I can announce a BFP to my family over Thanksgiving, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up.

I took the last BFN really hard. My mother-in-law was visiting us at the time, and we haven't told them we are trying, so it was really hard to keep it together when all I wanted to do was spend the day in bed. I know in my head that it's not my fault, but in my heart I just feel like I'm letting my DH down every time. Which is why I don't want to share with his parents that we are trying. I feel like the more people who know, the more people I'm disappointing with every BFN. 

My mom knows about everything, since she also struggled with infertility issues (she also has PCOS) and I really needed her support. She did IVF back in the early 90s to get pregnant with my sister. She was explaining the whole IVF process to me and really freaked me out. It sounded so intense and scary. I'm afraid to do too much research online because I always end up reading the craziest things. Does anyone have any suggestions for reliable an detailed information on the IVF process? I know I can just talk to my RE about it, but I always like to do some of my own research. 

I guess that's all. Good luck to everyone!
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Re: Introduction

  • wifeinraleigh28wifeinraleigh28 member
    Hello and welcome!  Reading your post really resonated with me.  I don't have PCOS, but rather we are dealing with MFI.  What you wrote kind of helped me understand our IF process from my DH's perspective.  He is super sensitive about sharing anything with our families, and I know he feels like he is disappointing me and anyone else who knows we are trying.  I keep thinking that he shouldn't feel that way because it isn't his fault AT ALL!!  But after reading your post and hearing how you feel it really made me think that he probably feels the exact same way.  Thank you for sharing and for being honest.  These boards are full of wonderful women and I have found tons of support here!

    As for your question about where to look for info, I honestly feel like I find the best information from reading through these message boards and reading everyone's own experiences.  I find it so much more helpful than reading info on RE websites or webMD or anything like that.  Again, welcome and good luck with this next cycle!!  There are many women here with PCOS who have had success!
    ***BFP & Child Warning***

    Me: 34, DH: 38 ~ TTC since 2014
    IUI #1-3 (Nov 2015, Feb 2016, May 2016) = BFNs
    IVF ER (July 2016) = 7 PGS normal embryos
    FET #1 (Sept 2016) = BFP! DD born 5/30/17
    FET #2 (April 2019) = BFN
    FET #3 (July 2019) = BFP! DS born 3/27/20
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