Feel like a bad mum

louiser210591 · November 2015

Is it bad that my daughter is nearly 9 weeks and I'm still finding everyday hard. It really hurts me to say that sometimes I'd rather be upstairs alone than downstairs with my partner and baby. I love my daughter but I don't feel this overwhelming love like a lot of mums. Some days are worse than others but I have a lot of support but sometimes it just still gets too much. I'm on medication for depression as I suffered with it before I was pregnant. I feel awful

ForeverEverAfter · November 2015

Don't feel guilty, depression is awful. I have mild ppd (no meds), and I struggle most days. I didn't go through this with DD1, so I often feel bad that I don't hold this baby as much. If she's happy to nap in her bed or swing, I go to the other room and read or crochet. I'm easily irritated and often touched out

I spend time with her by wearing her for walks, nursing and bedsharing. I do feel bonded with her, but I don't sit and stare at her while she sleeps like I did with DD1.

PickledPlums · November 2015

I'm right there with you, I'm a FTM and I feel like the babysitter. I had to have my dosage doubled and now I feel like a mom more often than not, but today is a babysitter day and my boy is being clingy and my husband's grandmother is coming for dinner...blegh. The housework is piled up and I just want to nap. Today sucks. Hang in there, mama

mill1020 · November 2015

Don't beat yourself up over these feelings. Depression is a very tough thing (but also very treatable--I am fortunate to be living proof). Keep taking care of yourself and getting absolutely as much help as humanly possible.

A wise woman once told me that it takes a great deal of strength and wisdom to ask for (and receive) help. Trust me, having help with raising a young child is the best possible thing for your child, for you, and for your partner.

Please know that you are NOT alone by any means; many, many women experience this stuff.

mwertalik · November 2015

I was feeling the exact same way-just going through the motions of mothering. I made sure she was fed, changed, burped but I couldn't wait for my husband to get home so I could check out for awhile. I told my doctor that I wanted to jump in the car and drive to Mexico lol. He doubled my Zoloft and I feel much better. It took a few weeks to level out with the new dose but I'm feeling way more bonded with LO. Good luck and try not to feel guilt. My doctor said some women have a hormonal trauma after birth-this is physiological, nothing you have done wrong.

CEW225 · November 2015

I think I have sone PPD or anxiety or something. I am not on meds, but am thinking about it very soon. I get frustrated easily and have times where I really dont want to do anything. Some of that comes from sleep (or lack of) and I think some of it comes from me being on leave. I am pretty extroverted and need conversation and interaction. I'm also one who needs to be out and about doing stuff. I've been out with baby, but not like I'm used to doing.

I go back to work Wednesday and I'm holding off on meds until I see how those few days after go. If I still feel this way by Thanksgiving, I may call my dr. You are not alone!!

kmcshane0211 · November 2015

Nope! I've experienced it too. Everyone said my baby was "normal" but to me she fussed a lot. It was a hard adjustment!

You may just have a tougher baby or a lower tolerance.

katythelady22 · November 2015

It's never bad to feel how you feel.

cmjn94 · November 2015

Hi, I was due in Oct but had my baby in Sept so I visit this board too sometimes.

I just want to say that reading this is confirming my suspicions that I may have PPD. I also believe I have an anxiety disorder and this post is encouraging to me. I feel like people often view depression as wanting to hurt yourself, etc, but I'm realizing its broader than that. I'm just taking it one day at a time and figuring out what I need to do to cope.

louiser210591 · November 2015

I used to have thoughts of harming myself but that was around 2 years ago and I've never thought about it since. My depression now is just feeling low and worthless and feeling like I'm not doing a good job and always comparing myself to other mums and it gets on top of me. It's things like the mums who are so in love with their children they want to be with them 24/7 whereas I like to have the break and time apart and then I feel like I shouldn't do that I should be like those mums who want their baby around 24/7. But I am just taking it day by day I do feel better when I'm out and about or with people especially my mum

mill1020 · November 2015

@louiser210591, I'm glad you're feeling better when you're out and with your mom.

Believe me, there is no such thing as a mother who wants her baby around 24/7. Anyone who claims otherwise is probably insecure about her own mothering.

jessbruxanovaa · November 2015

You're not the only one still having a hard time. My baby is very high need. His demanding screams and ear-piercing shrieks have given me a what seems like a permanent headache. I can hardly get anything done around my house because he wants to be held but hates being worn. I looked at myself in the mirror today and realized I look like shit. Sometimes I just have to put the baby in his bassinet and step outside to the balcony for a couple of minutes to regain composure. I have no help from my family with my child and that's ok. The only help I could get is from MIL and believe me I would rather do it all on my own than have her around taunting me. Some days are pretty bad but our babies are really worth it. Hope you feel better hun. I really do.

louiser210591 · November 2015

Thank you. Sometimes I have to just put her down and take 5 minutes. I've noticed I find it harder when it's my time of the month because I feel tired & suffer with headaches so even when she's being good I still feel horrible in myself. But my partner has been a lot more helpful which has made me feel better to. I know I'm going to have bad days it's just not nice but when I'm having good days I look at my baby and think how could I ever get fed up x

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