help me weigh the pros and cons

JeNYCeee · November 2015

Hi there, I am having a dilemma deciding when to see an RE. I am 35, had everything tested in February - hormones, HSG, follicle count, everything was normal. DH had sperm analysis in September - 12 million. We have both been on a naturopathic protocol which has completely regulated my cycle as well as helped my CM, as well as started him on acupuncture (I have been getting it for years) and so I trust it will also raise his sperm count - but it takes three months.

My thing is that I would like to TTC under ideal conditions naturally, so if his sperm count is up in January and my tests look good, I would like to continue for a few months to see what happens. We were TTC while he had 12 million for a while which is such a bummer to me! I am also beyond sensitive to all medication and very busy right now.

The downside is that I'm 35 and other methods work so much better the younger I am (DH is only 33) but I have such a fear of starting the process before we really give it a good shot. Is this crazy? I am biased, working in the alternative healing field, so most colleagues share the (personal) opinion of waiting for 2 years at my age and circumstance while trying alternative options, which is clearly different than the typical Western standard. Thanks for the input, lovely ladies.I really am having a hard time making up my mind and maybe even if you can't weigh in, just wanted to let you know what I'm thinking.

carrieandr · November 2015

I've been wondering the same thing. I'm 37, I've been trying since January, and have had two losses. (10 cycles total) So getting pregnant isn't a problem, but staying pregnant is. My dr said that since the second loss was a chemical pregnancy (very common), he's not concerned yet. He said if I have another miscarriage like my first one (MMC further along), he'll do testing. I just wonder if my age warrants looking into things sooner.

I guess I'm trying to figure out the difference between being proactive and impatient.

BernieRae · November 2015

I don't think it's crazy. Of course biologically, the younger the better, but that doesn't matter if it's not what you're ready to do. You've already done the first tests that an RE would do so in some ways you've already had your first appt. Thats great that your tests all came back great! And even though your husband's sperm count isn't that low, how awesome that he's into doing something to increase it! Maybe just take it month by month? Or reevaluate after 3 months? That might make waiting to the two year mark easier. If you do end up going to an RE at some point they will likely have you repeat all tests. And there might be a wait to see the RE. I had my first appt in June and with scheduling everything, other personal scheduling conflicts and a necessary polyp removal I didn't have my first iui cycle until last week. What does your husband want to do? Wait or no? Best wishes with your decision. I sure hope you get your wish and get pregnant without an RE.

BernieRae · November 2015

Just one more thought, which would fall into a "con" of waiting if you'd ever consider IVF... My clinic has some kind of partial money back guarantee for IVF if done before age 37.

carrieandr · November 2015

@BernieRae -- good point about there possibly being a wait to see the RE. It might be worth a call to see how far ahead they make appts.

Piperella · November 2015

I just turned 38, and I had to enter my Ivf shared success (money back if not pregnant) before I turned 38. I have great blood work numbers, husband is good, just have a blocked tube. I made it into the program with two weeks to spare. If anything, polyp, cyst, fibroid in the uterus was found, it would have delayed things, I would have not been eligible. I also now only have a year in the program. Wishing I had more time for more attempts, but I'm thankful for the year we have. I am hoping you can get pregnant naturally as you wish, but please spend time looking at the actual percentages of healthy and good quality eggs you may have as we get older. Not being negative, but please look at this realistically. Give yourself the best odds possible.

Mamafesto · November 2015

As others have said, I think it's about what feels right to you. I was 32 when I started trying for #1 and after almost two years and a long held belief that I did not want any intervention, I finally decided to get a clomid script. I angsted about whether to take it and then, miraculously on the cycle just before I would have taken it, I got my natural bfp. I don't think two years is unreasonable, and I think there's a whole lot that western medicine doesn't understand. I was deemed "infertile" after a year of trying but apparently could get pregnant and carry to term - it just took time. That said, I'm now 37 and I've gone 9 cycles with 1 mc and I often wonder if I were more willing/proactive about intervention, whether I would be pregnant by now. For now I'm trying to take it month by month and give myself time. But I also won't beat myself up if I end up deciding to see an RE. Good luck to you whatever you decide!

KLake42 · November 2015

Do you have insurance coverage for fertility treatments? For me, the biggest pro for continuing to try naturally would be the chance to get pregnant without going into significant debt (or draining savings). If trying naturally had been an option for me, I would have tried for at least 6 months.

One option could be to freeze some eggs (your eggs will never be better than they are now), and then try naturally for another year or two. If you then have to go with IVF, you'll have the younger eggs to work with. You'll have to take a couple months off for the procedure, but then you will have bought some significant time to do things naturally.

JeNYCeee · November 2015

Wow thanks for all the input! I really appreciate all the varying experiences. @klake42 that is an interesting option to consider - freezing eggs now and trying longer. The one thing about insurance is that no medication would be covered and we have to switch insurance policies this December to get something that's better for our needs.

It is also very worthwhile to consider the process with the RE may take a few months and will include restesting. I feel a little more informed, so thanks so much.

The stakes are so high it's hard to make these decisions feeling isolated, ya know?

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