- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
3rd Trimester
cbonifacio69
member
Is this all in my head?
cbonifacio69
member
Hi. I have never really talked here but I need to know if I'm overreacting or its him. I'm 31 weeks along and my husband and I seem to fight more than get along. Granted we are young. I'm 24 and he's 23. We have been married for a few months now but have been together for 2 years. I keep feeling as if I'm going to have to raise our son alone. He gets mad over the stupidest things. He acts as if he can't hold even a bit of responsibility because it's too much to handle. I send him to the store for heavy cream and he came back with half and half. I told him that he got the wrong one but it's ok. He got upset and said well then you go get it because I'm going to mess up again. Is it me or is he doing it on purpose.
He helps me out in the house here and there but I carry the burden of everything. I stopped working early in my pregnancy because of complications but decided to finish school. Staying home all day was driving me crazy. I cook, clean, do laundry. Everything but he complains about how he is so tired. I hardly sleep at night and because I take care of all the finances - he doesn't want to handle it.- I am always stressed and figuring out how to budget everything.
I'm like dude! I do everything. His friends even comment on how they don't even know how I do everything. He has a major attitude problem and he doesn't see it. I know we are currently under a lot of stress. but he isn't the only one feeling it. I feel like crap saying it but sometimes I question if I should have married. When he asked I said no because I felt he was doing it for the baby but after finding out he was going to propose anyways from a mutual friend. I said yes.
Am I overreacting? Or is he really acting selfish. The last fight we had was about the Lamaze class. I registered for one but it conflicted with his work schedule. So I found an online class for free. I asked him if we could watch it. He told me we can watch it later but he really needs a nap. I was fine with that. After the nap I cooked started a laundry load ate did the dishes. He got this acting opportunity and he need a picture and to send an email. I told him ok we can do it after the class. He asked if we could do it now. Ok sure I did the makeup he needed and took pictures. Helped him with the email and he was happy. When it came time to start the class we weren't even 10 min in when he asked how long this would last and if I can watch this alone. ARE YOUSERIOUS! so when it comes to me it doesn't matter? It has to revolve around you all the time? I told him to do whatever he wants and shut of the computer. He got pissed and went to bed I am currently still doing laundry.
Please help. I'm a right in my feelings? Or am I going crazy.
He helps me out in the house here and there but I carry the burden of everything. I stopped working early in my pregnancy because of complications but decided to finish school. Staying home all day was driving me crazy. I cook, clean, do laundry. Everything but he complains about how he is so tired. I hardly sleep at night and because I take care of all the finances - he doesn't want to handle it.- I am always stressed and figuring out how to budget everything.
I'm like dude! I do everything. His friends even comment on how they don't even know how I do everything. He has a major attitude problem and he doesn't see it. I know we are currently under a lot of stress. but he isn't the only one feeling it. I feel like crap saying it but sometimes I question if I should have married. When he asked I said no because I felt he was doing it for the baby but after finding out he was going to propose anyways from a mutual friend. I said yes.
Am I overreacting? Or is he really acting selfish. The last fight we had was about the Lamaze class. I registered for one but it conflicted with his work schedule. So I found an online class for free. I asked him if we could watch it. He told me we can watch it later but he really needs a nap. I was fine with that. After the nap I cooked started a laundry load ate did the dishes. He got this acting opportunity and he need a picture and to send an email. I told him ok we can do it after the class. He asked if we could do it now. Ok sure I did the makeup he needed and took pictures. Helped him with the email and he was happy. When it came time to start the class we weren't even 10 min in when he asked how long this would last and if I can watch this alone. ARE YOUSERIOUS! so when it comes to me it doesn't matter? It has to revolve around you all the time? I told him to do whatever he wants and shut of the computer. He got pissed and went to bed I am currently still doing laundry.
Please help. I'm a right in my feelings? Or am I going crazy.
Re: Is this all in my head?
I don't think he is necessarily doing it on purpose, but I definitely believe he is a tad in denial and is resisting the whole process of becoming a father.
Have you tried to sit down and discuss exactly what's going on? A lot of the time, we get stuck in a spiral and don't realize how bad it is until someone shows us. And trying to sit down and talk it out should always be a first step.
Does he have any guy friends around his age that have settled down and had children? If so, I'd enlist their help to try and knock some sense into him. Show him it's not the end of the good life. Or if you are comfortable, asking your inlaws for some help and guidance, I'd do that as well. Some people need their parents to tell them they weren't raised that way and show them the error of their ways.
I also think you two would benefit with some couple's therapy before the little one gets here, but you both need to be on board in order for that to work. And you're quickly running out of time.
It's really important to try and work things out before the baby gets here, as it'll only add to the stress and responsibilities you both will share. Hopefully, when he sees the little bundle it'll show him how real and important his role is. Good luck.
I've been married for 10.5 years. Marriage is the hardest thing I've ever done, and I'm 100% sure I married the right person. Marriage is never 50/50, it has to be more like 90/10 for BOTH parties. And you two are entering one of the hardest times in a marriage, children. Men can go inward and become a little self focused when faced with pregnancy. Sometimes it's latent jealousy, sometimes it's fear. The point is, talk to him. Tell him what you're feeling. Ask him what he's feeling. And when you do, really listen. Try to give him the benefit of the doubt and don't get angry, and - most importantly - before the conversation concludes, try to come up with steps you'll each take to try to resolve the small issues you are facing each day.
There are two sides to every story. Sometimes we get so caught up in what we are feeling that we don't realize what the other person is feeling. That said, it's not all in your head. It's how you feel. Own it and try to build from it.
Lots of luck!
I would like to go to therapy. I brought it up once and he ask me if I felt our marriage was bad and I told him no but we need to communicate. He changed a bit and started becoming more reasonable. But maybe I'm just selfish and it's not enough. My in laws would not be the ones to talk to about this matter. She would get scared and think I want that I want a divorce. I know marriage is hard and needs to be worked on everyday. I experienced it first on with my parents so I didn't go into this thinking everything was going to be sunshine and roses. I just feel a little alone in this.