Interfaith

lauren0913 · November 2015

Hi Ladies!
Anyone in an interfaith relationship that would like to have their child blessed by both religions? I am Jewish / husband is Catholic & I would love to do a naming of the baby in Jewish & a ceremony like a christening once the baby is born.....anyone have any experience or suggestions?

adiaz132003 · November 2015

I think it's great to include both! It's beautiful to teach our kids that they can be whatever they want and it's all about love. I've known a few couple to do it the way you are where they celebrate both religions and it's worked out so well!

Wyattnash00 · November 2015

I'm jewish too and my hubs is Catholic! I think incorporating both is awesome. As I'm not very religious and pretty much stopped temple after my bat mitzvah, my DS is 'Catholic, my husbands parents are very religious. I'm all for believing in something on some level and as this was so important to hubs/his parents I'm ok with it. I also don't live close to his family and my husband isn't as religious so it's not too much if that makes sense. I loved the Christening and my family came to the church too:) my mother secretly whispers to me that my baby will still be Jewish as his mother is, that makes her happy:) religion can be such a tough subject so incorporating both from the beginning should be a good way for your families to know how you feel.

MynaBird · November 2015

Raised Catholic here, husband is Jewish, although we both really just do religion on a cultural level. Catholics take baptism very seriously, and as part of the ceremony you and the baby's godparents will be asked to promise in front of the congregation that you will support your child's faith formation in the church. When my brother's son (who also has one Jewish parent) was born, they considered doing a bris, but the mohels in our town would only perform the ceremony if they would commit to raise him in the faith, and they weren't really willing to make that commitment.

Not saying you can't do both, since I know some people do. Just know that some priests/rabbis will object to performing a ceremony that's designed to welcome a child into a religion if they know there's an intent to do it in another faith as well. If you have a super chill reform rabbi and a very laid-back priest (I would look for one with "CSC" after his name -- Holy Cross priests tend to be more open-minded in my experience), they might be willing to go for it. For us, we didn't pursue a naming ceremony or a baptism because we knew we weren't committed to raising our children in either faith, and we knew that, at least in our local religious communities, we'd have to misrepresent that intent, which was something we weren't comfortable doing.

ETA: We live close to the reform temple, and our daughter will probably go to preschool there, so if it feels right we may have her continue on to Hebrew school and Bat Mitzvah prep. If we'd done anything, we might have done a naming ceremony, and if it had been really important to my in-laws, we probably would have gone for it. My husband already told me that if this one is a boy, he doesn't want to do a bris and we'll just circumcise at the hospital, but I think that's mostly because he can't handle blood and anytime we've gone to a bris he's had to stand in the other room while the actual ceremony happens.

lauren0913 · November 2015

Thank you all - we aren't veru religious either but we are both proud of our backgrounds and want to incorporate both of our religions in our child's life. I was just not certain on how to do it & I know both of ours families would really love to be a part of both ceremonies

chloe97 · November 2015

I'm Catholic and H is Jewish. If we have a boy, the baby will be circumcised by a surgeon in the hospital, but H and FIL will attend and say a prayer? I don't really get it, but that's what H wants. He's also mentioned a ceremonial bris or or baby naming, having his family over when I'm 8 days post-parting dealing with a newborn sounds like hell.

H is much more serious about his religion than I am about mine, so though we will celebrate both sets of holidays, our kids will mostly be brought up Jewish.

KayDray15 · November 2015

It is wonderful that you want to incorporate both!

But do keep in mind that both of those religions take their ceremonies very seriously, and will expect to be the only religion you teach your child.

Depending on your diocese, a lot of Priests won't even preform a baptism unless you are in good standing, and an active member of their perish. It depends on how strictly they follow Canon Law. They may even require proof of your sacraments before they will proceed.

I don't know much about Jewdaism, or how they handle things.

Good luck with everything though! I think it is great that you want to include everyone. :-)

MynaBird · November 2015

KayDray15 said:

Depending on your diocese, a lot of Priests won't even preform a baptism unless you are in good standing, and an active member of their perish. It depends on how strictly they follow Canon Law. They may even require proof of your sacraments before they will proceed.

That's a good point. I have a godson (born during my more devout youth), and even for a private baptism in the chapel at my very progressive and open-minded Catholic college, I was required to submit proof that I had been confirmed and was an active congregant in my home parish.

lavina2244 · November 2015

Such a hard subject!
My husband is Christian and I am an Atheist, somehow between us two it's always worked. He isn't TOO deep into it so regarding the baby on the way- we know it will be a non-issue. We have agreed that religion is something our child will discover (or not discover) on thier own as an adult.

....keep in mind both of our devout catholic grandmothers don't know about the pregnancy just yet, so I'm suuuure the "baptism talk" should be interesting!

KayDray15 · November 2015

@lavina2244 I feel you there! Our situation is opposite. I am Unitarian and DH is atheist, but it works for us. His family is VERY Catholic ( Catholic like one of his uncle's is a Deacon) I think it is going to get pretty interesting when they catch on that there is not going to be a baptism, and we are not doing Catholic school. Baby can build (or not build) their own relationship with God, on their own terms.

Kballew10 · November 2015

@Lavina2244 and @KayDray15 - Same here! I' the atheist, DH is a non-practicing Church of the Brethren. It works just fine! My whole family is Catholic (my dad's the one who is working towards being a deacon) and I'm not sure how it will go when they find out we are not doing a baptism. My sister thought about it, but didn't want to put up with the family argument, so she gave in. I have no intention of giving in. Baby can do whatever it wants when it's older. FX that this works out for all of us.

@Lauren0913 - I think it's awesome that you want to do both, but I agree with PP that some more strict religious institutions will not be accepting of your openness to both experiences. My suggestion would be to stick with what you two want for your child and work to find facilities that are like-minded and will allow you to do as you wish. Best of luck!

mrsfifilefume · November 2015

Same here. I am Catholic and my husband is Jewish. We got married about 8 months ago under an interfaith ceremony where I had a modern rabbi and a deacon. I plan to contact them both in a few months to get their thoughts and ideas on what interfaith blessing I can do.

lauren0913 · November 2015

I was thinking the same to contact the women who performed our interfaith ceremony (4yrs ago) to see if she is able to perform this type of ceremony. I just think it would be special for us & both our families & how awesome for our little one to get to experience 2 different religions!

splsmama2016 · November 2015

So happy to see lots of Jews/Catholics!!!

I myself am Jewish, DH is Catholic. Neither one of us is all that religious (running line is "I'm Jew-ISH"), but we have briefly discussed having a b'nai bris, traditional Jewish baby naming (the rabbi at my families synagogue is SUPER chill, laid-back reform. Would have done our wedding but naturally, it was at the same time as the start of their bar/bat mitzvah season), as well as a private christening, if we can get DH's longtime friend and pastor to do it.

As far as raising our children, we've discussed SOME, and will try to make sure they learn about both religions. We know that living in San Diego, our kids are NOT going into the public school system (unless we move a little north into the better district in the city), so that pretty much leaves us with private school. I graduated from a Jewish K-12 school and LOVED everything about it (until senior year where I HATED taking Hebrew), but there are also a couple other really good schools that just happen to be Catholic or Christian schools. It will all depend on what we can afford when the time comes.

Side note: Our Christmas tree has the most AWESOME topper from Amazon.... its a Star of David

MynaBird · November 2015

@sdLindenberg We can party together. I made my husband the most amazing ugly Hanukkah sweater to wear to ugly Christmas sweater parties. It has a huge menorah on the back. He's very proud of it.

Want a personalized experience?

Interfaith

Re: Interfaith

Choose Another Board

Search Boards