anyone wanting a c section?

SophiaAlbert · November 2015

I know I may have to endure a lot of mom shaming for this, but I would really like to have a c section. My brother and I were huge babies (4, 5 kg) and they had to use forceps and cut my mom to get us out. I expect to have a big baby aswell and I have very small hips - all this makes me want to avoid a vaginal birth and opt for the c section, though I know recovery may be tough. People give me that judgy look when I tell them. Anyone else like me?

valerie4786 · November 2015

I think your reasons for wanting a c section are completely understandable. My mom had all scheduled c sections, my oldest sister had a c section with her first because she was so big and an emergency c section with her second, and my other sister pushed for 2.5 hours and he was too low, otherwise I think they would have done a c section with her. I'm realizing it could be a possibility with me, but I'm hopeful I can deliver naturally for quicker recovery time.

Kurrant · November 2015

I initially wanted a c section because the thought of birth really scared me. My OB told me that if it stresses me out that she would back my play no matter what. I've since changed my mind for reasons I won't get into. I just wanted to say this...don't let anyone guilt, judge or pressure you into something you aren't comfortable with.

Pascal86 · November 2015

Both options sound pretty terrible to me! I wouldn't fault anyone for deciding that one method sounded slightly less terrible than the other.

cortney626 · November 2015

When I was in labor with my first, I was terrified of giving birth and did think just cut her out of me. I wouldn't have had an elective surgery. I ended with a c section anyway since I never progressed. This time around I'm having a repeat c section. I have no desire to attempt a VBAC. I had a great recover from my c section. Hoping for the same experience although I'm 8 years older.

kbrands7 · November 2015

I understand being fearful of a repeat of what your mother went through. I'm have no idea what that recovery would entail. However, having had a relatively uneventful c-section surgery, with a longer recovery, I will tell you that it's not always what it may seem. Some ladies have wonderful recoveries-- some have worse. From what I can gauge, I fall somewhere in between. If you want you to hear some potential drawbacks, read on. I'm not trying to talk you out of your choice, but rather provide some additional anecdotal information. When I faced a section, everyone who had one only told me positive things beforehand-- then dished out the negatives as I experienced them. If you've heard enough from the other side, I'll completely understand if you don't read the rest of my post.

I wasn't able to see my baby for at least a half hour after birth; he went with my husband. I was numb from the neck down and my arms were strapped out to the side (which is fairly standard for hospitals) so I couldn't hold him while they closed me. The spinal medications made me insanely nauseous , so I wasn't able to keep down actual food for at least a day, and the first evening and night trying to bond with my baby were a complete blur. This also impacted my ability to breast feed initially and I had to pump for a while until I could get him acclimated to the breast. I tried to push myself too hard when I got home by sitting from laying and carrying too much (20lbs) because I was used to having strong ab muscles (instead of none) and I accidentally tore open my outer incision during the first week home. I was able to run by 8 weeks postpartum, but it hurt and basically felt like I was falling apart. I wasn't able to drive until 4 weeks postpartum because I couldn't press the break hard enough before then (again...abs). It hurt to do a lot of things for a while and took about a year before I felt as strong as I was pre baby (though this may also have been because I couldn't tolerate anything stronger than Advil).

Surprisingly, my incision did eventually heal well and is now about 4" long and no thicker than a line drawn by a pen. The scar tissue is the issue. I have a roll directly under and above my incision from scar tissue. (It's hard, and a bit lumpy to the touch.) I have ovulation pain from built up scar tissue now because apparently my body produces it like a factory. I've had to do massages and exercises specifically to try to loosen the tissue that's there so that it behaves more like regular tissue and doesn't cause pain. These strategies do work, slowly but surely, but are one more thing to do each day. I still have some numbness around my incision over 1.5 years later, and occasional tenderness now.

I'll be trying for a vbac since my doctor gave me the all clear if this baby isn't breech; but I'm prepared for another section just in case. Because I love my son more than I can ever express, this has all been a small price to pay for his safe birth, but I wouldn't have necessarily chosen the c section if he could have been born vaginally. Good luck with whichever option you choose!

Edited for spacing-- and to add: Especially if you opt for a c-section, I highly suggest a wrap-variety for baby-wearing (I used a K'tan because I found it easier than a self-wrapping style). It's not uncomfortable while the incision heals and will increase skin-to-skin time for breastfeeding and bonding. Plus, it essentially makes the baby part of your body weight, so it helped me to build back my ab strength without feeling terribly strained. I started carrying this way partway through the second week pp, and I wish I would have started sooner.

dshannah · November 2015

Don't let anyone shame you: some folks will try to say it's unnatural, etc., but it's an ancient practice that saves lives in situations like yours. It's named after Julius Caesar, for goodness' sake!

Remember: all of those folks who advocate vaginal birth as natural also need to acknowledge that, historically and "naturally", one in three women used to die during childbirth.

So. Yay for c sections:)

shahn14 · November 2015

I had a vaginal birth with my first, and a c section with my second because my pubis symphysis was separating and my dr gave me the option just so we didn't damage it even more. With that being said I would rather be sore on my belly than my vag lol.. But I was seriously sore after my vaginalbirth ! I had my c section went home 2-3 days after to my 2 year old too, recovery was not bad for me at all!!

lalala2004 · November 2015

@kbrands7 I'm glad you shared your story. C-sections are great when necessary, but I never understand why someone would choose a major surgery with a longer recovery and possible lasting effects when it could possibly be avoided.

dshannah said:
Don't let anyone shame you: some folks will try to say it's unnatural, etc., but it's an ancient practice that saves lives in situations like yours. It's named after Julius Caesar, for goodness' sake!

Remember: all of those folks who advocate vaginal birth as natural also need to acknowledge that, historically and "naturally", one in three women used to die during childbirth.

So. Yay for c sections:)

And those who advocate medical birth by "acknowledging" those unsourced statistics (I'd be happy to see your source) also need to acknowledge that for a long period, doctors didn't wash their hands, over medicated women, and strapped them to a bed during labor until knocking them out for delivery.

Also, it was most likely NOT named for Julius Ceasar. https://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2013/10/caesarean-sections-named-emperor-julius-caesar/

laurenmdrn16 · November 2015

There are so many birthing options out there that NO ONE should feel shame or guilt choosing what is right for them. Some hospitals offer "gentle" or "natural" CS which enable you to hold your baby and BF while they are closing you up (assuming no complications of course). If that is something important to you, please talk to your OB and hospital staff about it. I plan on going that route since (hopefully) it won't be an emergency CS, but a nice, calm, planned procedure (because everything always goes according to plan during childbirth :-P) Seriously, figure out what is a priority for you (avoiding tearing/episiotomy, faster recovery, BF right away, having time to rest after birth, feeling or not feeling the baby coming out of your body etc) and make a plan that hits YOUR target priorities. And then know that that plan could go right out the window! But, barring any emergencies (which, God forbid, I pray none of us have!), you can still have the birth experience you want whether the baby comes out of your vagina or an incision.

And, not to bring up a tough subject, but building off what @dshannah said, there are many accounts where people are so against having a CS they risk their life or their child's life (*cough* Downton Abbey *cough*). Be open to all options and educate yourself on the risks and benefits of each decision. From my perspective, the only "right" way to give birth is the safest way, so for many that involves a CS. And even if you don't have the ideal birth experience (I present myself as Exhibit A) it doesn't mean you are ruined for life or that you will never have the mother-child bond etc. My son and I are ridiculously close and while I wish things had gone differently, I would do it all over again, feel every pain, endure every procedure, experience every fear, if it would mean I would get to have the child I have now.

Charissadeats · November 2015

I asked my doc straight up which is better for baby and his opinion was c section. That is his opinion though, but I do trust it. I believe that if he is most comfortable with the operation, I will be in good hands.

I know a lot of ladies and family members will judge me, but I say tough titties to them. It's my body, my baby and my husband is the only person who has a say.

@kbrands7 - thanks for your story. It is definitely something that I would bear in mind and use to prepare myself mentally.

countrygrl5533 · November 2015

I was in labor for 24 hours, 3 of which were pushing, before we made the call to have a c-section. Made the call right before it would have been an emergency (she was very stuck) so it was the right call. I recovered quickly. I was driving 1 week later. I'm honestly terrified of vaginal birth. I've heard soooo many horror stories of tearing, things not getting repaired correctly, taking weeks to feel normal again, etc. I don't know what we will be doing this time. I have some months before I have to decide.

I can tell you this. After having done no pain meds with my DD until I had to be numb for surgery, I will 100% be getting an epidural this time if I go the VBAC route.

alijeff2313 · November 2015

First off as some of the PP stated, no one should EVER shame you for your choice. You know your body unlike anyone else.

I had a scheduled c-section with my first because she was large and sideways. I had a wonderful recovery. With this one, I will opt for a second. Yes it is a major surgery; however, there are A LOT of things that can go wrong with vaginal as well. No one can tell you what to do, but don't like anyone bully you into making the your choice or belittle you into thinking you make the wrong choice. Either way, the most important thing out of this is a healthy baby and a healthy mama. Good luck!!

jessiedee13 · November 2015

I'll be having my 3rd c section. My first was not planned, my second was. To add to what @kbrands7 said, my hospital normally straps the arms down but I refused the straps and had free arms. I still couldn't hold my babies (not that I was comfortable doing it all numb and stuff anyway, just me), and the 30 min recovery separated from my baby was the worst, especially since they didn't tell me I couldn't have my baby in recovery until I was already there. I had no trouble healing at home, but I had several people saying "no you sit your ass down, I'll do it" and they didn't make it optional. I didn't breast feed (was never the plan) so idk about how that would have gone.

Every hospital and doctor is different. Check with your doctor about their policies and the hospital policies as well. Make a birth plan either way you decide and as pp's have said, be ready to throw it out the window.

YOU and YOUR BABY are what matters here. Healthy mom, healthy baby. Do what you gotta do to make it happen

dshannah · November 2015

lalala2004 said:
@kbrands7 I'm glad you shared your story. C-sections are great when necessary, but I never understand why someone would choose a major surgery with a longer recovery and possible lasting effects when it could possibly be avoided.

dshannah said:
Don't let anyone shame you: some folks will try to say it's unnatural, etc., but it's an ancient practice that saves lives in situations like yours. It's named after Julius Caesar, for goodness' sake!

Remember: all of those folks who advocate vaginal birth as natural also need to acknowledge that, historically and "naturally", one in three women used to die during childbirth.

So. Yay for c sections:)
And those who advocate medical birth by "acknowledging" those unsourced statistics (I'd be happy to see your source) also need to acknowledge that for a long period, doctors didn't wash their hands, over medicated women, and strapped them to a bed during labor until knocking them out for delivery.

Also, it was most likely NOT named for Julius Ceasar. https://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2013/10/caesarean-sections-named-emperor-julius-caesar/

Fair enough on the c-sections: was going along with what my Latin teacher told me, and she must have been hoodwinked by Pliny.

And you're right that the one in three star comes from the 19th ct when care was at its worst, but in biblical times, roman times, and medieval times (for which it is impossible to get precise demographic data) the maternal death rate is estimated to be 1in 50. Per child. Given the number of births each woman had, maternal death in childbirth was a fact of life, occurring all the damn time. Look at any roman history and the number of women who die in childbirth vs. any other cause is staggering.

CBS78 · November 2015

I was terrified of having a c-section with my first pregnancy, and so of course after 24 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing they told me I had to have one. You know what? It was basically no big deal. I know everyone recovers differently and I've had friends who have taken a while to feel like themselves again, but for me it was relatively easy. I say if you really want one then go for it, but just know that it may be possible you may take a while to recover. Then again, I've had friends who have taken over a month to recover from vaginal deliveries too - you really never know!

Latina211508 · November 2015

I'm from the feb board and I'm pregnant with my fourth baby (28 weeks on Monday). I personally don't want a c-section. I had all my children vaginally. I had fast/easy 2 hour labors each. I was 95lbs pre-pregnancy with my first (100 under with my others, 5'1) and young, but had 3 big 8lb babies. I pushed them out with 1 and 2 pushes. My recovery was amazing after each baby. But that does differ. I was driving that day and had no issues walking around etc. You never know what your body is capable of. I have the biggest babies in my family and I'm also the smallest. It does depend on your pelvis but don't base it off your mother. At the end of the day do what's best and safest for the baby. But I personally wouldn't opt for a c-section unless it's medically necessary with no ifs or buts.

Bluejay3030 · November 2015

@Latina211508 kind of touched on this, but I wanted to reiterate that the size of your hips doesn't matter so much. It's the shape and width of your pelvis that matters, and that's not something most people know off-hand about themselves until they attempt to give birth.

I have narrow hips and had no issues with delivering vaginally. By comparison, I have 2 friends who are tall and have much wider hips that both were unable to deliver vaginally because of pelvic bone shape.

The decision is between you and your doctor, I just didn't want you to go into it with any false assumptions. Best of luck with whatever you decide!

MsIan · November 2015

I agree with a bumper above. They both sound horrible so choose what's best for you!

lionstigersbears · November 2015

I hope I can articulate this with care, as to not offend or sound like I'm responding to anyone in particular. I agree 100% that a mother has the right to decide what is best for her and her baby, and that given the nature of a vaginal birth, there are medical and personal reasons to decide otherwise. But I'm just not comfortable with the sentiment that a vaginal birth isn't what is "best" for a baby due to the mother's fear of the unknown (I was terrified of tearing because the thought is awful, so I get it emotionally), after factoring out medical risks, personal trauma history, etc. There are well documented benefits of vaginal birth for both babies and mothers despite the possibility of tearing. There are also risks with vaginal birth, I'm not saying there aren't. I'll say again I think csections and vaginal birth are both valid options and am glad both are available. I personally feel like this thread has a lot of posts in favor of c sections and wanted to be another voice, without shaming or judging anyone who makes one choice over another.

saladflambe · November 2015

I honestly don't care either way

Bltbear82 · November 2015

I didn't care either way last time - my birth plan was literally "whatever ensures me and my baby are safe." That said, I'm super grateful I progressed naturally. Due to slightly high blood pressure my doctor insists on induction if I'm not progressing by my due date (same plan as last time), so I was incredibly lucky I delivered 3 days early and avoided pitocin. After hearing and seeing c-sections recoveries I'm hoping for the same luck this time. The only time I judge is if they're scheduled early for convenience and not a valid medical reason. But I also feel the same about women who ask to be induced early. Otherwise, your body, your decision.

babykasper · November 2015

This is our first but we want a natural birth. My mom had all three of us naturally, my sister had two kids naturally (only one to two pushes) and that's what we are also hoping for. We certainly aren't opposed to a c-section if it's medically necessary. We wouldn't willingly put myself or baby in danger by demanding vaginal if c-section was necessary.

But like anything else... I think it's a choice. And every woman's right to choose how they deliver, figure out their own birthing plan! I've known woman who pass out when they get period cramps and likewise, passed out when they went into labor... So they delivered via c-section to an unconscious mom! Lol whatever works for you, is your choice and there's nothing wrong with that!

LovingLife! · November 2015

I had an unplanned c-section and my recovery was great! I think it's the subsequent c-sections that recovery is harder with. That being said, I would've always wondered, "What if?" if I hadn't tried. My 1st daughter was 9 lbs. and I had a VBAC with my 2nd, who was 9 lbs. 4 oz. So sometimes your body just knows what to do and sometimes you need some intervention. Whatever decision you make, just stick to your guns and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it! As long as you and baby are healthy, it doesn't matter how baby gets here

Good luck!!

finnybooboo · November 2015

I went into my first pregnancy thinking it would be a normal (medicated) vaginal birth, but I was seriously scared to death and had these same feelings. In our childbirth class nothing made me feel panicked/light headed as the section on tearing/episiotomies. I seriously felt ill thinking about it. I ended up being so thankful for my doc for calling a csec after pushing for nearly 3 painful hrs without progress. My DD was 10lbs 1oz 22in. since I'm likely to have another large baby, ill request a repeat section.

Unicorn522 · November 2015

Bluejay3030 said:
@Latina211508 kind of touched on this, but I wanted to reiterate that the size of your hips doesn't matter so much. It's the shape and width of your pelvis that matters, and that's not something most people know off-hand about themselves until they attempt to give birth.

I have narrow hips and had no issues with delivering vaginally. By comparison, I have 2 friends who are tall and have much wider hips that both were unable to deliver vaginally because of pelvic bone shape.

The decision is between you and your doctor, I just didn't want you to go into it with any false assumptions. Best of luck with whatever you decide!

I agree with this. OP, it's definitely your decision but my personal choice is that c section is a last resort. I am a fairly small person, not quite petite but I have no hips at all. I had my son vaginally and he was 9lb3oz. My labor would have been much shorter had he not been slightly turned, but that slowed things down a bit. Despite his size, my tears and everything healed and I remember hardly any discomfort during my recovery at all. I kept up with the witch hazel and epifoam they gave me for a week but I really had no pain that Advil couldn't handle. If baby size is truly a concern, it may be worthwhile to talk to your dr about inducing as an option for you. Even a week early can make a difference in size. I'm sure based on my son's size that this will be a conversation I have with my dr. I don't think he will want to let me go much past my due date this time around.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

katykatykaty · November 2015

LovingLife! said:
I had an unplanned c-section and my recovery was great! I think it's the subsequent c-sections that recovery is harder with. That being said, I would've always wondered, "What if?" if I hadn't tried. My 1st daughter was 9 lbs. and I had a VBAC with my 2nd, who was 9 lbs. 4 oz. So sometimes your body just knows what to do and sometimes you need some intervention. Whatever decision you make, just stick to your guns and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it! As long as you and baby are healthy, it doesn't matter how baby gets here Good luck!!

Recovery from my second c/s was even better than my first. I was able to do light holding of my toddler after the first week and didn't need pain medicine other than Advil. I had the pelvic shape issue so apparently vaginal birth wasn't an option for me, but I was actually hoping to end up with a c/s so was happy with the outcome.

LovingLife! · November 2015

katykatykaty said:

I had an unplanned c-section and my recovery was great! I think it's the subsequent c-sections that recovery is harder with. That being said, I would've always wondered, "What if?" if I hadn't tried. My 1st daughter was 9 lbs. and I had a VBAC with my 2nd, who was 9 lbs. 4 oz. So sometimes your body just knows what to do and sometimes you need some intervention. Whatever decision you make, just stick to your guns and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it! As long as you and baby are healthy, it doesn't matter how baby gets here Good luck!!
Recovery from my second c/s was even better than my first. I was able to do light holding of my toddler after the first week and didn't need pain medicine other than Advil. I had the pelvic shape issue so apparently vaginal birth wasn't an option for me, but I was actually hoping to end up with a c/s so was happy with the outcome.

That is awesome!! I've been told by doctors that the multiple cuts can be dangerous because it weakens your uterus. Then you're at risk for bleeding, etc. But if you are healthy and heal up well then I guess it wouldn't be an issue! Childbirth in all forms has its risks.

doozer1345 · November 2015

I have to have a c section bc of deformity I was born with but wanted to say that if you want a c section and its safe and easier for you... then hold your head up high and don't let anyone shame you.

ETA: Also, I had a c section with my first and as PP's have said everyone is different with their recovery. I healed faster than everyone else I knew who just had babies vaginally. I got up 6 hours after surgery and made myself walk. I did this everyday until I was completely healed. I was cooking and serving my frozen meals a few days after I got home from the hospital. I don't know what it's like to have a vaginal birth but that was my experience with c section. It wasn't at all as bad as I thought it was going to be.

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