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October 2015 Moms
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MIL visiting

clairesmommabearclairesmommabear member
in October 2015 Moms
Well my MIL is here for a few days. As some of you know my husband is considering leaving me. His mom has absolutely no idea anything is going on and is with me all day while he's at work. I haven't said anything to her yet but if she asks I don't intend to lie to her about it. It's really weird to be here with her right now though, since she's being super sweet and cleaning my house while I get some rest. I want to say something and see what she thinks (we get along very well) but I don't know the tactful way to bring up the subject. Should I wait until she asks about us or should I bite the bullet and just say something?
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Re: MIL visiting

  • tracij12tracij12 member
    That's a tough one. How have things been going since baby has arrived. Did he say anything before her arrival about talking to her about it? I would probably wait for a relevant question, but that's just me. I don't think either would be wrong.
    Married DH 08.28.10
    Pregnancy #1: BFP 04.10.11 EDD 12.23.11 DD1 Born 12.4.11
     Pregnancy #2: BFP 5.12.14 MC 5.20.14 @ 5wk4d
    Pregnancy #3: BFP 11.1.14 EDD 7.5.15 MC 11.13.14 @ 6wk4d
    Pregnancy #4: BFP 1.31.15 EDD 10.5.15 DD2 Born 9.23.15
     
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  • koriemokoriemo member
    I would bring it up. I would probably ask if her son had said anything to her about your relationship before getting into it.
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  • shantyraeshantyrae member
    Sometimes moms have a way of talking sense into people :) I would say something, but only if you feel like it won't make things worse.
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  • clairesmommabearclairesmommabear member
    Since baby has arrived I feel things have been a little better. His ring is still off and he still doesn't tell me he loves me, but we are having normal small talk again and we watch TV together again. However, when I asked him about how he felt things were going he said his typical response. "I don't know." I also asked him if he was at least considering staying, and he hesitated before saying he was thinking about it. He hasn't said anything about wanting to tell her about it, but he doesn't talk to her much as it is. (Even when things were great with us he would always have me talk to his mom instead of doing it himself, for just about every interaction. They aren't on bad terms or anything, just don't talk much.)

    So if I bring it up to her, how should I do it? I don't wanna just be like "Oh hey, by the way...your son is talking about leaving me and your grandchildren. Thought you should know. What do you want for dinner?"
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  • tracij12tracij12 member
    Well based on that I change my answer. I think you should bring it up. Maybe you could approach it softly by saying something like, did you notice H is not wearing his ring? And then ease into what's been going on. I could imagine that taking to his mom will make him upset, but I'd say his feelings should be the least of your worries at this point and if he didn't want his mom to know, he shouldn't have invited her to stay.
    Married DH 08.28.10
    Pregnancy #1: BFP 04.10.11 EDD 12.23.11 DD1 Born 12.4.11
     Pregnancy #2: BFP 5.12.14 MC 5.20.14 @ 5wk4d
    Pregnancy #3: BFP 11.1.14 EDD 7.5.15 MC 11.13.14 @ 6wk4d
    Pregnancy #4: BFP 1.31.15 EDD 10.5.15 DD2 Born 9.23.15
     
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  • dparker721dparker721 member
    I'm not close with my MIL (neither is DH) but I am close to his aunt and I don't hesitate to bring up anything to her, including details of going through a very similar situation to yours. I believe if it were me, I would say something to about it. I don't think I'd be able to go every day with her without saying anything.
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  • meganraschkemeganraschke member
    Oh this breaks my heart to read that you are going through this. I guess I missed any of your other posts. This period is hard enough on its own I can't imagine adding that kind of marital stress to it. I hope your family is able to find some peace
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  • Dawnmarie0310Dawnmarie0310 member
    This seriously breaks my heart. In here to talk if you ever need.
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