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January 2016 Moms
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Feeling bummed

scornwell717scornwell717 member
in January 2016 Moms
So, I just got the pleasant reminder from baby's dad that he's not in love with me. I already knew this but it's just such hard words to swallow, especially when I'm already feeling so anxious as my due date gets closer. I can't help but love him considering I'm carrying and nurturing a little human that's half of him.

Not to mention, I envy all new and expecting parents who are happy and in love. I feel like such a grouch saying that but it's just something I so badly wish I had.

For example, I burst into tears watching Nick Carter's tribute to his newly pregnant wife on "Dancing With the Stars" the other night. They showed clips of him at the ultrasound just completely amazed and thrilled to be a dad and I can't stand the fact that I have that missing from my life.

Sorry for the venting session, I just feel like I had to write it down somewhere since I don't have a journal or anything. I'm not a happy camper right now :(
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Re: Feeling bummed

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    mekaswifestylemekaswifestyle member
    His loss. We are here for you!
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    sarahbeara25sarahbeara25 member
    Lots of Love to you. 

    Pregnancy Ticker
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    scornwell717scornwell717 member
    Thank you all for such kind words, you have no idea how much they mean to me! I'm so lucky to have the supportive family that I do and @maureenmce you're very right, I will most likely find a loving partner that I get to experience another pregnancy with. It all just feels sucky right now and I can't wait to see my sweet baby and forget about all these feelings :(
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    ahayleyqahayleyq member
    I'm sorry that you are going through this. You have the wisdom now to teach your little one how to love and be loved in a genuine way.
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    ellaxo1ellaxo1 member
    Very sorry for what you are going through. As others have said, one day you will find someone to love and appreciate you for who you are. Although it may not seem like it now, sometimes failed relationships are a blessing in disguise and someone who will love you like you never thought someone would love you will come along. Cheer up mama and we are here for you!
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    katherines2ndminimekatherines2ndminime member
    @scornwell717 I've been there and I know how you feel and its gut wrenching. You will love your baby so much... It will help with the pain. I cried when I saw those things too. Good thing is you seem like a wonderful person and you'll be a great mom! You'll find someone who loves you for those reasons.

    And you will always love him. I still love my daughters dad, even though I hate him. He's the reason I have her.
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    ChrissyD1203ChrissyD1203 member
    Just want to echo the sympathies of the other PPs - stay strong, you got this. And also to add that not all new parents are madly in love and so excited about sharing in the pregnancy journey together (I realize that is not nearly as hard as what you are going through)... But the grass isn't always quite as green as it looks on the other side. My husband came to an OB appointment today because he wanted to confirm that I was being honest when I said I couldn't travel for Christmas. OB was at hospital for a delivery so my checkup was with a midwife and he didn't get to ask his question. We left and he goes "well that was a complete waste". And I was like you just got to hear the baby's heartbeat how can you say that!!
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    scornwell717scornwell717 member
    stephanienjer said:

    I'm so sorry. Is he interested in being an active father? Apart from, I hope you have a strong support system. They'll be the ones that help you heal and get past this--even once the baby blues kick in post-partum.

    It may sound a little callous, but I was raised by married parents who never even liked each other, and it's caused a lot of issues for my sister and me in our own adult relationships. My sister has been married three times, and I waited until my late 30s to get married. Maybe, by being honest with you, and giving you time to move on early, you can show your child that being in a healthy relationship is as important as being in any relationship.

    And your someone will come along. I heard someone compare finding your soulmate with a turkey that has a pop-up timer. You can be gorgeous and golden brown on the outside, and still be as raw as heck on the inside. You gotta wait for that timer to pop, and then the right someone will be there. Hang in there. Keep venting to us. Lean on those closest to you . You'll get through it.
    He established that he wants to be there as a father, but it's going to be difficult because he lives in PA and I live in Jersey. It's about a two hour drive, so not too bad but still not close. I know it's better for baby to be raised by just me, but it's just so hard to hear that you don't have the qualities for someone to love you :(
    But your turkey comparison is the cutest thing I've ever heard and I'm definitely going to remember that because it's so true!!

    @katherines2ndminime I will always love him as much as I want to hate him, just like you said. It's awkward because we were never a couple and in the very beginning when I first found out about my pregnancy he said "I don't love you and I never will". Yeah, brutal. But I just can't seem to hate someone who gave me what's about to become to light of my life.

    @ChrissyD1203 that is not nice that your husband said that!! Hearing baby's heartbeat is never a waste if you ask me! As a matter of fact, I had an OB visit today and that's what brightened up my crappy day :)
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    bella2210bella2210 member
    I'm sorry to read some of these. This whole pregnancy thing is so emotional even in the best of circumstances. Right now there are days when no matter how much love people show me, I feel completely unloved and alone. I just hope all of you ladies have plenty of love and support around you to remind you that the hard days are going to pass. I'm not much of a social butterfly but I've had to reach out to old friends and make some new ones. It's helped alot because my partner just can't be everything I need him to be all the time and I find that difficult to accept. My women friends that have had children have saved me just by reminding me that it's ok to feel crazy for no reason or have intense crying spells . I thought I was having some sort of depression because of the random crying spells but it turns out that they can be normal as long as they're not all the time. Just reach out for the love you need!
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    ambercakes92ambercakes92 member
    I'm sorry :( I totally get you about the Happy couple envy. Whenever I watch Jim and Pam's Niagara Falls marriage on The Office, it makes me cry. Even though it's just a tv show, they seem so in love with each other and their baby, and I just want that myself with my own ex (he's looking forward to baby at this point, but we still aren't together). Just lean on the people that you do have -- the pain will dull eventually. I'll be thinking about you!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    scornwell717scornwell717 member
    Thank you @bella2210 that makes me feel a little better that I'm not the only one that gets crying spells!

    And @ambercakes92 it sounds like we have a somewhat similar situation (except mine isn't my ex) but we're both young, single, and anxious! I wish I wasn't so bitter about happy couples because I know that's not fair but I just can't help it :(
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