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God parents

SiobhanhcoleSiobhanhcole member
in 3rd Trimester
Hi ladies,

Im not traditional or religious and I have to really close girl bestfriends, they don't know eachother but I want them both to be the "godmothers" and have no god father.

If it was you i was asking, would you be offended that there were two god mothers and it wasn't just you????
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Re: God parents

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  • KateLouiseKateLouise member
    To answer your question, no I wouldn't be offended but I agree with what pp said in terms of establishing what a godparent means to you, and finding out what your church requires.
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    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
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  • Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
    I wouldn't be offended. If not for religious purposes, would it be stating in a legal document who will get custody in the case of your death? Unless they live together, they may only allow one and then a secondary guardian. This would be more an issue to discuss with a lawyer, though.
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  • ammnam14ammnam14 member
    My mother and another lady baptized a little girl. There was no man to fill in and so they asked another lady, definitely not the norm but not offensive. If you aren't religious I don't see your stance on god mothers? Are you planning a babtism?
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  • jenbstevensjenbstevens member
    Being actual co-mothers is not an issue in the church. I am not catholic so my sister in law's church made me be a co-godmother to my niece with someone who is, and there is also a godfather. I wasn't thrilled about the idea at the time but wouldn't be my niece's "spiritual guardian" (what they called it) anyway since we aren't the same religion, so I think it was just a symbolic thing and now I appreciate it. However if you aren't having your child baptized you don't name actual god parents, it's just about who you would give guardianship to in the event that something happened to you. As PPs said, you can't make them both guardians unless they live together.
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • YogaSandyYogaSandy member
    We asked SIL to be DS's guardian. She is named on our legal documents as the person who gets custody of him if we die. My brother is named as the second person. He only gets DS if SIL can't for whatever reason.

    Now, when we had DS baptized, we knew we wanted godparents from both our sides. DH's brothers are not religious, but his sister is. My brother is not religious, but my sister is. We spoke to our pastor and asked if we could have two godmothers because we wanted people who were religious (as the job of a godparent is to help bring the child up in the faith. The job of a godparent is not custody - although often it is the same people). We didn't want to ask either of our brothers just to fill the man's spot. Our pastor agreed it is much more important to chose people of the religion for that role than simply a man and a woman. And he would prefer it if we had the two women. DS has two godmothers.
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  • cmerriburycmerribury member
    Just wanted to offer a slightly different perspective on the nomenclature of God Parents. My husband and I are both atheists and, though we raise our son with good morals and values (most of them based on our Christian upbringings) religion is not a part of our lives. When we were selecting who would be the caregiver of our son (now, sons) in case of our untimely deaths, we made sure to choose people who would allow him (now them) to grow up in an environment that allowed them to make their own choices about religion. We wanted to know that these people would guide and support him on her personal path of spirituality, because we recognize that our lack of religion does not mean that he will share our views. We will support and guide him in this if we are here. Because of this, we chose to call these people his godparents. There was (obviously) no ceremony involved, but there is no other term available for what we hoped they'd be for him if we aren't around.

    I also wanted to say that I think it's far more important to choose the right people for the role, than to chose one of each gender.

    Best of luck.
    BabyFruit Ticker


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  • taysuntaysun member
    Be aware that if you're looking at god parents as the people who will be your child's legal guardians should something happen to you and your child's father, legal documentation is required. If this a religious relationship in the true sense of god parents, consult your place of worship.
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  • SaltyMcNultySaltyMcNulty member
    Siobhanhcole said:
    Hi ladies,

    Im not traditional or religious and I have to really close girl bestfriends, they don't know eachother but I want them both to be the "godmothers" and have no god father.

    If it was you i was asking, would you be offended that there were two god mothers and it wasn't just you????
    I have girlfriends (and male friends) who are very involved with DS. He simply calls them Aunt ___ or Uncle ____. If you aren't baptizing or raising your child in a religious household, then, no, please do not call people Godparents.
    Married July 2009, Rescue dog adopted September 2010, DS born June 2012
    Expecting LO2 in February 2016
    Ghost of MrsMuq
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  • celainevcelainev member
    My goddaughter has, I think, 3 other god mothers? And 2 godfathers. Doesn't offend me.
    But I agree with PPs that this was for religious purposes. My goddaughter's family is Catholic and I am Protestant, but her church is very lenient and I'm allowed to be a godmother. Nothing to do with legal guardianship though.
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  • 4N6s4N6s member
    Make sure you check with the church prior to asking, we can only pick one person or a male and a female.
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  • arcanejinxarcanejinx member
    As an atheist family we won't be having God parents-in the event that both of us die our parents are still quite young right now and they will have custody (not finalized in order yet). However we have close friends who will be Aunt/Uncle to our children (neither of us have siblings) and we are Aunt/Uncle to my best friends daughter. If we had to choose people to raise her who weren't our family she would go to them-because they share similar values with us, and we both treat each others families as families (my niece and my daughter will be raised as cousins, even though there is no blood relationship etc). A few family friends will be like this, as we are firm believers that you really choose your family. So if you aren't going a religious god parent route I imagine both would be fine being 'god parents'. If there is a religious aspect or a legal aspect make sure you check with your church and with your friends first to see if they are comfortable with that level of responsibility.
    DD: Beatrix Louise aka BeeBop. April 2 2016. H.I.E Warrior <3
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