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June 2016 Moms
MistKeeper
member
I think I'm being selfish, but... WOW
MistKeeper
member
So I was planning on announcing to my family on Thanksgiving when I actually get to see everyone in person, but my little brother confided in me, yesterday, that he ku his pseudo-gf and they plan to tell my mum on Saturday. My mum hates my bro's gf, so this will probably end badly (plus, they weren't actually even really together before the pregnancy). Meanwhile, the gf hasn't been to the doctor yet, but she thinks she's ten weeks (I'll be 8, officially, on Wednesday). This means we'll be having babies about the same time.
What's the issue, well, I want to be happy for my brother, but I feel like he's taken some of the thunder from my announcement now. I think it would be different if he were actually in love with his gf, but he has told me that he isn't.
Secondly, my brother lives closer to my mum. I was really looking forward to my mum's support during the birth of her first grandchild (now probably second), but realistically if my brother has a baby a few days before me or even on the same day, I won't have access to that now, and it makes me really sad.
I know there's an element of sibling rivalry in here, and I wish I could kill this part and be rational, but hormones have had me crying for the past two days straight. Advice?
What's the issue, well, I want to be happy for my brother, but I feel like he's taken some of the thunder from my announcement now. I think it would be different if he were actually in love with his gf, but he has told me that he isn't.
Secondly, my brother lives closer to my mum. I was really looking forward to my mum's support during the birth of her first grandchild (now probably second), but realistically if my brother has a baby a few days before me or even on the same day, I won't have access to that now, and it makes me really sad.
I know there's an element of sibling rivalry in here, and I wish I could kill this part and be rational, but hormones have had me crying for the past two days straight. Advice?
Re: I think I'm being selfish, but... WOW
If I were you I would still wait until thanksgiving and announce with a more creative way ! I'm also guessing your brother ( since he is a male ) is not going to put a whole lot of thought into the announcement and it sounds like it's not going to be well received .
I am going to put post cards under everyone's plates when I set the table that says someone here is eating for two , and tell everyone to look under their plates for a surprise before we dish up .
I know in your mind it seems like now you are going to take back seat but I think your mom will still be extremely excited for you and I am sure you will let her be a lot more involved which it also sounds like you want !
Good luck , but I think it will end better then you think based on what I have herd !! Stay excited
It all boils down to the fact that you are upset that you'll have to share your special time. Don't meant to sound harsh, just objective.
On the bright side, babies do come early/late. You may end up having the baby first.
It's also still early for the both of you.
If he doesn't love her they may need to have discussions what their future is and the future for this baby is, and it may be too early to jump the gun and assume what is going to happen.
I agree that with moms it's different when it's your baby having the baby vs. your son's "significant" other. If you let your mom know your wishes for her support for the birth of your baby, my bet is she will be there.
My SIL got pregnant shortly after me - and it was mildly annoying but eventually I was just happy that my daughter would have a cousin so close in age.
Trust me that your son/daughter will be just as loved and your family will be just as excited despite your brother's news. Let yourself wallow for a bit and then move on :-) I find it odd that they want to announce before she's even been to a doc - but really - what do I know.
I hope you get to announce on Thanksgiving in a way that makes you happy
I totally feel your pain though. My sister told me she was pregnant and I was devastated; we had been trying for a year, everyone else we knew was either already parents or pregnant, everyone kept asking me when we were going to have kids & I had to laugh it off when I felt like crying and now we weren't having the first grandchild. I was super upset for a few days and just decided to accept it. Fast forward a few weeks and *ta-da* I'm pregnant for the first time in my life! Turns out, my sister & I are 2 weeks apart, parents are thrilled and it's actually awesome being able to share symptoms etc!