Trying to see if I'm being unreasonable — The Bump
Military Families

Trying to see if I'm being unreasonable

ashcleyashcley member
edited June 2015 in Military Families
would most women want to be in their home town to have their child then an over seas base with doctors that aren't helpful?

Re: Trying to see if I'm being unreasonable

  • As much as I miss the civilian hospital I gave birth in the first time and my mother, I'd rather not risk having my husband not be there for the birth or separating our family during my pregnancy. We didn't plan to get pregnant while overseas (well atleast Guam) and while I dislike the clinic I'm being seen at (the naval hospital I will deliver at is another story and I've heard wonderful things) I would never imagine leaving and possibly putting myself under more stress.
  • No. I would hate to travel to my home town to have a baby. My home is wherever I'm living, and that's wherever the government sends us. Traveling (especially overseas!) while pregnant or postpartum seems like such an added stressor. I want to be able to have my baby, go back to my home and relax as a family.  
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  • I wouldn't personally - but you're not allowed to travel and neither is the baby for the month preceding delivery and up to 2 months following delivery. I wouldn't want to be apart from my husband that long, it seems like it wouldn't be worth it to me. But you have to do what's right for you and your family, and as much as it is difficult for you, you'll have to consider your husband's feelings. You're carrying and birthing, sure, but it's just as much his child, and with a military schedule already, it could be even harder on him if you chose to return home. 

    Also, if you're the active duty person in the situation, I'm almost 100% positive you don't get a choice in the matter. I wasn't sure if you were or not since you didn't indicate in your post. Good luck making your decision. :/ We're here if you need to vent later. 
    TTC #1 - Started 7/2015
    MC #1 - 1/10/2014
    MC #2 - 10/15/2015

    Pregnancy Ticker

  • AD females are not allowed to travel more than 100 miles from post after 32 weeks unless they plan to pay every cent of birthing costs @FireInWonderland

    Having unhelpful docs (especially if there is a language barrier) is difficult, but I'd fly to Iraq to deliver if that's where DH was. Also, if you flew home just to deliver, you would have zero continuity of care, which would be difficult on mom and baby as well as raise issues with future appointments for LO because the new pediatrician would have no idea what happened during l&d.
  • No I would not. I just had my baby in Germany. It was definitely a different experience, especially since we moved here when I was 34 weeks along and barely got to know my doctor before I went into labor. But if I'd gone home, my husband wouldn't have been there for the birth. Not an option for me. Plus you wouldn't be able to move back overseas until you get your LOs passport, which takes awhile. It wouldn't be a quick trip.
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  • Agree with all previous posters 100%. Plus your kid could easily have dual citizenship. How cool is that??
    Plus unless you're having really bad complications that are not being treated, I wonder how much help the doctor could even be? I am in my hometown & 36 weeks pregnant and I don't feel like my Dr is very helpful but then again, I am not really having any complications that need to be addressed so idk how much help she could even be. I feel like half these appointments are a waste of time- especially since I wait to see the Dr wayyyyyy longer than I actually see her. But I just go anyway because I am an ftm and I would feel bad if something turned out to be wrong and they could have caught it in my pee or something but didn't because I didn't go.
  • What home town lol? No, I wouldn't want to travel somewhere else to give birth. I've built a relationship with my midwife, my husband and kids are here, and I want to be able to go to my own home and bed when I get out of the hospital. I had no issues giving birth overseas even though things didn't go as planned due to complications and I'll do it again.
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